My life has continued to be unmanagable

[laura26]

How much time do you lose a day to smoking or to cleaning or covering up the smell of smoke? How much more a year could you get done if you weren't busy?

[edith2]

ooooooooo! That's a real good topic, Laura! I never sat down and figured out how much time I wasted on smoking! I know that it was alot! I know that now I don't feel so nervous and anxious all the time! Smoking controlled my life completely! I felt okay as long as I had my smokes and a place to smoke them. I have much better things I can focus on now. I'm no longer a slave to cigarettes.

[dawn29]

I want to you Edith for the invite. I never thought about it before I stop smokinf but now I am have thought about it. I figured out that I spent 1 hour smoking in a 24 hour day and I would clean 4 hours in that day because of the smell. But I have realized that now with me quitting I don't take as many breaks at work and Some days I don't leave my office to go out side unless I have to take a picture of damage on a bus. When I'm at home I amdoing more with my kids because I don't have to take a break to smoke. We start something and finished it all on one sitting.

[laura26]

Groovy you are free for 4 days! I have been in therapy since the dawn of time I beleive but groups have cross-talk allowed and people here at the Utah ones were really without boundaries. I take what I want and leave the rest. I'm an alcoholic but that was to stop my eating disorder-which I countered with cigarrettes to stop the eating disorder that came back from getting sober. Higher Power issues maybe. I have problems asking for help-I also don't listen as well as I should. Anyway doing better than before but people around me think the eating disorder is worse than the smoking they don't get it's all bad ya know?

[laura26]

I would cut off my left pinky to be back to 130 haven't been there in 20 years! I can't get below 155 and I am 5'5 the more weight I gain my Fibromyalgia kicks in and that is usually from being bulimic which is probably the only more gross than smoking. People around me keep saying eating would be better than smoking or using gum but they don't understand that I have everything spiral around these issues. Maybe when my boyfriend moves it won't be so hard to go back on my meal plan and even out my testosterone which gets higher from gaining weight since the female body thinks fat is estrogen for some reason. We women need to ban together and boycott things like beauty pageants which I think is detrimental to us all and thank goodness models in Europe are starting to say models should have a healthy BMI. I only hold weight on my stomach and sides-my legs are thin enough my arms are not great but that I could correct easier than the stomach. Tae Bo helps the most but man it's hard to do if you weigh more. My boyfriend says he doesn't care about my weight and I look fine but the women he says he's attracted to are tall and have the longest waists. He also comments that women smaller than me are fat so I can't help but believe he is saving my feelings. Of course he eats constantly which triggers me wanting to smoke so I don't sit and eat with him. Anyway I lose a lot of time trying to fight this inner critic about weight and exercise and I see thin women do it too so I try and get out this last month and do stuff anyway and that works til someone takes my photo below the neck and I'm like AAArrrggghhh!