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Give and get support around quitting

amandamarek
Member

New to the block

I guess I'm the same boat as everyone on here.  I smoke cigarettes and i am aware i really need to quit. Smoking to me is a form of stress relief and man it feels so good. Sometimes it's the only reason I want to get out of bed in the mornings. Now don't get me wrong I don't smoke a pack a day.. unless I'm drinking then that's easy to do. I smoke about a half a pack so about 10 cigarettes per day and I've been doing that for 10 years.  My mom has serious health issues from smoking. Her skin is very aged as well, but alot of that is from sun damage as well, at least that's what I tell myself in fear one day I will look like her. Smoker shame has got me bad. None of my work colleagues know that I smoke. I go all day 8 hour shifts and only smoke once on my break. I'm so careful , I place my hair up and remove my sweater. I always wash my hands thoroughly and spray on perfume. Truthfully, I'm scared for them to know. It's a professional atmosphere and I don't want that inhibited my image at work. But I'm ashamed that my addiction has caused me to become this massive liar. That I am incapable of quitting and plan my entire life around my next smoke. I'm new to EX. I've set my quit date for two weeks and I'd love to hear from other real smokers,  what legitimately worked for you to quit? I've tried only switching to vaping and it works for a month or so then my vape goes out or I get a beer and I'm back to smoking. I really really want to do this before it affects my health permanently like it has for my mother. I also want to stop feeling chained to my cigarette pack. I want freedom. I want my own life back. Thank you in  advance for the advice- I will read every comment.

26 Replies
karenjones
Member

Well, well, well.  How can I tell you are a newbie quitter who is on a steep learning curve?  firstly, welcome to the Ex-community.  You will meet alsorts here.  what we all have in common is that we are all nicotine addicts.  I met your addict already, it was who ever wrote "Smoking to me is a form of stress relief and man it feels so good. Sometimes it's the only reason I want to get out of bed in the mornings."  You want to get out of bed to feed the addict, it feels good because that is the only time the addict is not annoying you. You are putting off the withdrawal symptoms by smoking. 

For years, decades, I felt like you do now.  but I continued to smoke and feel super depressed about my addiction. for decades. until I got a diagnosis of oral cancer.  It sounds pretty grim and it is,  but you can either quit now, on your own terms or you can quit when you are in hospital from any one of the 30 or so major illnesses, chronic diseases or cancers that smoking causes.  There is no smoking allowed in a hospital. 

You must plan and prepare for your quit. some of the elders will come on and give you tons and tons of advice on how to plan and educate yourself and prepare yourself for the quit. find out if there are any nicotine quit or smoking quit groups at your local hospital.  Talk to a doctor or pharmacist about aids.  Take alll the help you can get, you are making a heroic effort to improve your life.  But first you have got to learn to recognize the voice that tells you that you like smoking cigarettes, that is the voice of the addict. and the addict cares not one fig about you and your used to be pink and now tar stained lungs. the addict only wants to keep withdrawal symptoms away. you have to become very angry at that addict, that addict will rob you of all that is precious.  Your life.  

amandamarek
Member

Dear Karen, 

I realize how insensitive it must seem to say that is feels good when it has caused you such major pain in your life and I apologize. You're right I need to start educating myself. I got this book yesterday called the unofficial guide in quitting smoking. I'm trying to get the right tools where this time it will stick. I will speak to my doctor like you suggested and start to get pissed off. I promise okay? Thanks for reaching out. 

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Welcome to EX.  You have come to the right place to get support with quitting smoking.  Education was the key for me. Learning about nicotine addiction.  Relearning my thinking that I do not "have" to have a cigarette.  Knowing that it is doable because so many here are successful. 

Start first by educating yourself on addiction to nicotine. Foundation For A Successful Quit‌ this blog will give you a jump start.  Also, it is advisable to read Allen Carr's Easyway to Quit Smoking which can be found on pdf on the web.  Another good site to get info is www.whyquit.com.  There are several articles to read.  Nicotine 101 and Freedom From Nicotine My Journey Home.  Quitting takes planning and preparation go to EX Plan | BecomeAnEX  to get help on navigating the site go to. Community He My lp‌.  Again Welcome, there is more to come.  If you have any questions you can do a search with the magnifying glass type any keywords and research.  If you have any questions just ask and give up the opportunity to respond.  

amandamarek
Member

Dear Jackie, 

Thanks so much for your feedback. I will follow up with the links you suggested. 

KatherineF
Member

Yes I definitely recommend Allen Carr’s book Easy Way to Quit Smoking. I had tried many times to quit but I couldn’t do it until I read his book. He convinced me that I could quit and I could! It was fantastic! I also recommend you pray. God will help you.

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind.. To that end, I also highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. He explains that the stress relief you feel when you light up is just your brain sensors stopping their demand for nicotine created by the LAST cigarette you smoked.  Cigarettes were CREATED to make you an addict; to make this whole process happen! You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
 
 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site.
 
 After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.
 
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:


 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
 
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

amandamarek
Member

I think time wasting is a huge part of smoking doing it when you're alone when you don't have much to do. Also, driving is a major trigger for me. Thanks for your advice I'll start thinking of little things i can do instead now

0 Kudos
MarilynH
Member

Welcome to the community you've made the best decision that you'll ever make in your lifetime and it's definetly not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT with the right Mindset you will succeed so please read the links suggested above me and keep reading everything you can about quitting smoking and remaining quit because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently and start living a Life of Freedom. .....

anaussiemom
Member

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