Using patches, I expected a reaction dropping from 14 to 7. A 50% drop would obviously make a difference. What I didn’t expect was the huge occurrences of cold sweats, extremely annoying dizziness and tremors at times.
I see the true addiction of this now. I had been keeping the nicotine level at what I smoked and experienced withdrawal from the different delivery system. Now I feel the real thing. I’ve been at this lowered dose for 2 weeks now. Everything is hard. I can’t seem to get my bearings when I have to do things. I shampooed my hair after I already had thinking it was conditioner. I sit here and just zone out. I still don’t want a cigarette, but I want my ability to focus back. The simplest things are like puzzles I have to figure out that I did for years.
I read that having an anxiety disorder makes this very different to manage. It has become a problem. I’ve been so tired I can barely get out of bed. I’ve gained about 5 pounds and have changed nothing in my diet. I guess that 200 calories a day smoking did is catching up since December.
It was suggested to go back to 14mg. patches, but then I’d have to face this again or live with them forever. It’s certainly better than smoking, but not really fighting the addiction. This is certainly eye opening. The depression is bad too.
I’ve always had admiration for the strength for you all here that have racked up years of getting truly free. It has grown immensely now that I’m really facing the nicotine monster. Also for the newbies facing this fight. I see why the relapse rate is high in No Mans Land cause I’m in the thick of it now. Glad all of you are here.
Hang in there. Your strength will get you through this too.
Barb
CONGRATS AND GOOD JOB TAKING CARE OF YOU AND STAYING ON YOUR OWN PLAN TO STAY NICOTINE FREE!!! Yahooooooo
Good morning. Good to see you. Many people who have an "anxiety disorder" when smoking find that quitting smoking helps anxiety immensely including myself. You seem better to me. You are doing this. Have a blessed day.
Sending (((((Hugs))))) out to you...I feel so bad what you are going through...God Bless...sending a few prayers out to you today...~ Colleen
Gwenivere, "This too shall pass", you got this girl, you are doing this quit, kicking and screaming or calmly and serenely, just get it done. This great struggle you are going through will make your success that much sweeter! Stay motivated and focused on what you are doing and why you are doing it and you will find your peace of mind and success!
Peace to you on this beautiful Sunday morning!
M. 26 DOF
Clarity will return.
You sound like you want to quit completely. I would not return to 14 if it were me, but am suggesting to you that you do what's right for you. My rationalization would be that I'll have to drop it back to 7 eventually and that I might as well fight through it now. Get it over with.
Withdrawal is real. I got goofy as hell and would apologize to my husband when I talked what I considered to be gibberish. You mentioned shampooing your hair. I can remember that it would feel like every hair was on overdrive in terms of sensitivity and was hollering at me for washing it. What you're going through is almost to be expected. For me, the first 10 days were my mental nutcase days. I'm crazy as it is, so a lot of people couldn't tell about my added layer of quit crazy
Congrats for thinking out loud and my best to you with whatever you decide.
Donna
Day 63
I can't really give advice because I didn't use the patch, but it does seem to me (based on things I've read) that you're now in a pretty much constant state of withdrawal. It's not going to end until you stop feeding it, which means ending all nicotine.
Yeah, Annette, I do think of that every morning when I open that patch and later reach for lozenges. When I was on 14mg patches and 5/6 lozenges a day it was equal to my smoke rate as I took the patch off for bed, thus cutting 5mg. out. It’s been the 50% drop that is eye opening with the 7’s. I also see I am using the lozenges as rewards as I did cigs. Nicotine free sounds great, but I take into account my vulnerability as so many stressors are hitting right now and I definitely don’t want to go back to cigs, doesn’t even appeal, which is odd but I’m glad. I’m not trying to present excuses. I just know what I can emotionally handle and I’m on a precarious ledge.
I know many will say there is nothing that can justify hanging on to nicotine. I have found there is if it means surrendering to immensely dark thoughts that are dangerous. So this is definitely a time I must be very careful. Not having any real life support aside from doctors who can’t agree on the challenges, I’m pretty lost. So I read and talk here just to get it out among others who have all kinds of experiences to draw from and relate to.
So for the time being I live with this. Don’t want to be making any permanent decisions I can’t take back.
we are real life support....
I certainly didn’t mean to imply all of you aren’t extremely important as I go thru this. I just wish I had someone physically in my life I could talk with and lean on. I’m so grateful for this group.
Everyone's quit is different. Bravo to you for not smoking!
Donna
Hey there!!
Good to see you and glad you're still fighting!! I borrowed a friends laptop for a week so I could write my eight year anniversary post on the 20th. And you're right! Every time we lower our nicotine intake, we feel a bit of withdrawal. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. By the way, I just had the same thing happen to me in the shower except I put the conditioner on before I washed my hair and I don't even have an excuse!
What I always tried to remember in the hard times was that the patch isn't going to make things perfect but it helps to keep us free. It's a tool. One that we eventually no longer need. The thing to remember is that though it's hard, you're making progress. And the progress you're making is POSITIVE progress.
I never worried about the weight gain and over time, I lost that weight just as fast as I put it on. Please try to focus on the positive aspects of what you're doing. Perception can be everything at times. Hang in there!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!
Chuck
Completely agree with Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 on what he advises 100%
Kudos
It most certainly seems that way!! ^^^
Gwenivere I am really proud of you, I must say that I am so sorry that this has been such a difficult journey for you, I wish I could offer advice but I think you are doing what you need to do...staying smoke free. Taking this one day at a time, one minute when you have to. You are DOING this.
Hugs,
Ellen
And I'm glad you are here, sharing your quit journey with Ex. Keep it coming.
Am in the ER as the dizziness and sense of standing imbalance has not let up for 2 weeks since dropping to 7mg. patches. My O2 stats are really good. Pain levels from back are getting intolerable. An urgent care clinic day before yesterday said it could be vertigo. Kinda coincidental. I need some help in hopefully validating this IS withdrawl as being alone at home makes it very scary and causes a ton of anxiety. Not that being here doesn’t. Of course it’s a busy day and I haven’t gotten a room yet. But they have done xrays and blood. Now I need a doc. It’s been hard as my eldest dog was hospitalized and needs help at home. My counselor suggested this just for peace of mind. Not that I like withdrawl, but I would feel better having that diagnosis. I also haven’t had any human contact in days. This interfered with volunteering. I feel like a wimp, but I don’t know what else to do but sit at home scared.
PLEASE keep us posted so we know what is going on...I think it would really be helpful for you to know exactly what is going on, you have been through so much. I hope that you can arrange for someone to help with the dog if that is necessary.
Not having any human contact in days is really costly emotionally. Please know that we are here and will help in any way that we can.
Hugs,
Ellen
They said hypotension. Lots of tests, 5 hours for 10 minutes with the doctor. I hope this guy is right as the clinic Saturday said my ear was the problem and this guy didn’t even know you can now buy NRT's were over the counter.
I did find the energy to touch up my roots for a pamper. The blonde is much lighter than I usually use for streaking so this is gonna be soooooo obvious when it starts growing out. Next time a darker blonde. Seems this fogged brain can’t get anything right. It’s been well over 60 days and I don’t have the patience virtue.
Dogs were going crazy because their filler to dinner green beans were over an hour late. Canine priorities!
I still think the nicotine drop is a big part of this. This is really my true withdrawl kicking in as I started with NRT's about equalling my smoking. Now I’m at half. One of the docs suggested going back up a step and I said nope. It’s just putting off the inevitable.
Thanks, Ellen.
Guess that means your home. Hope your feeling better. It's hard having dogs when you're by yourself. Can't help but worry. I've been though that myself after my husband died.
It truly makes a difference people who have not experienced it could ever understand. I’m sorry for your loss. It changes you forever. Thank you for your caring response. Barbscloud
Did he suggest anything for the hypotension? I have always had really low blood pressure so I am just interested in what he recommends...OTHER than going back up a step with the patches, that's just NOT a viable option.
Glad you are home and the dogs are cared for...bet THEY are too.
Ellen
All the doc said was take time before standing up. That and stay hydrated. My sodium level was low. So I need more more. I guess it’s kinda good I eat a lot of microwave or take out as those are usually loaded with it. The dizziness is getting so annoying my pharmacist suggested trying the 14mg patch again for a couple of days and see if it lessens. I had a bit of it then but nothing like this. Wish I knew more to tell you. There is Gatorade, but I don’t like flavored drinks.
Well, stop being scared, it doesn't help anything and really, consider, you have a roof over your head, you are not hungry, no one is physically abusing you. Take a deep breath, do that 10 times. Yes, I know it is worrying having an animal that needs care and make sure that your dog does get the care he needs. But this is not the end of the world.. Breathe..... go and pat your dog. I find breathing and patting and hugging my dog always makes me feel better...
Wow! Easier said than done. When your alone with mental health issues....It can be a time of troubles and crisis for the one who is alone endlessly. One can get caught in their head with endless hours of isolation, plus health issues ....etc. karenjones Hugs to you!!
I choose to believe you are not a callous person, karenjones. I’m going to think you had a bad day, were not feeling well or chose to take your anger about the above mentioned things as possibly your own anger.
I will not defend my situation nor should I have to. I only ask you please consider others feelings when they do feel scared and need to express it. Saying stop feeling that is like saying stop having withdrawl.
We CAN'T stop feeling, that is what we TRIED to do when we smoked. I think karenjones wanted to see if she could help you to stop worrying and stressing, I know that's next to impossible in your situation. Stay close by, know that we ALL care and we ALL want you to succeed.
Ellen
Sending good vibes out to you Gwenivere ... please let us know how you are doing ...
please know I am sending a prayer out for you ... gotcha in my heart ~ Colleen
Thank you Kimmy and Sweetplt. Still feeling the same but did talk to a pharmacist and quit coach saying all quits are different. Every validation helps.
As a reminder email notifications were turned off overnight as part of the data migration. This is just a post to alert some of those who might have missed some comments that occurred while the email notifications were turned off.
Mark
EX Community Manager
Gwenivere
Dr. Andrew Pipe: The Zombies of Smoking Cessation - YouTube
Home alone amidst a possible MH crisis is a hard place by nature. I've found that almost a half year after Freedom Day I'm still sleeping a lot. Yet I sequester because I can. Almost like mourning a lost loved one, because that's what nicotine recovery is. In-between the celebrating. Doing the work to try to assure that my smoke zombie stays buried because if I relapse I become again the walking lifetime shortened by my own hand. Do what you have to do to stay free. Cry, kick, scream, then sing out loud. Pet you dog, it knows and understands, and keep coming back here. Sometimes wish I were as verbose as I usta be on here but for my purposes, finding I don't need to be. New life is both supported and sustainable. When you do it for you. Don't lose what good feeling you have anytime it surfaces. And rest assured that you are not alone. Ever. Huggs all around.