Personally discovering addiction definition

Discussion created by Gwenivere on Feb 17, 2019
Latest reply on Feb 23, 2019 by Jimbone

Using patches, I expected a reaction dropping from 14 to 7.  A 50% drop would obviously make a difference.  What I didn’t expect was the huge occurrences of cold sweats, extremely annoying dizziness and tremors at times.  


I see the true addiction of this now.  I had been keeping the nicotine level at what I smoked and experienced withdrawal from the different delivery system.   Now I feel the real thing.  I’ve been at this lowered dose for 2 weeks now.  Everything is hard.  I can’t seem to get my bearings when I have to do things.  I shampooed my hair after I already had thinking it was conditioner.  I sit here and just zone out.  I still don’t want a cigarette, but I want my ability to focus back.  The simplest things are like puzzles I have to figure out that I did for years. 


I read that having an anxiety disorder makes this very different to manage.  It has become a problem.  I’ve been so tired I can barely get out of bed.  I’ve gained about 5 pounds and have changed nothing in my diet.  I guess that 200 calories a day smoking did is catching up since December.  


It was suggested to go back to 14mg. patches, but then I’d have to face this again or live with them forever.  It’s certainly better than smoking, but not really fighting the addiction.  This is certainly eye opening.  The depression is bad too.  


I’ve always had admiration for the strength for you all here that have racked up years of getting truly free.  It has grown immensely now that I’m really facing the nicotine monster.  Also for the newbies facing this fight.  I see why the relapse rate is high in No Mans Land cause I’m in the thick of it now.  Glad all of you are here.