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Give and get support around quitting

millon03
Member

I FEEL STUPID...

I feel stupid. I thought once again that if I just made up my mind, whamo, I would be able to not pick up a smoke this morning. I didn't do any planning last night when I was done working, I just drank a couple of beers and tried to smoke as much of my last pack as I could get through before bed. I didn't wet the remaining smokes in the pack and throw them away like I thought I should so they wouldn't be on my desk in the morning. I just thought, "Last pack and I will be done"... I am sure most here can relate, you have probably done the same as me, like a million times, and then hated yourself for failing so easy the next day.

Ok, so 3 smokes left in the pack in my desk drawer, I really, really don't want to go buy more at lunchtime, I really, really want this insanity in my head to end and just get over to the other, smoke-free side, and start learning to live without these damn awful things.  I am so scattered about my thoughts right now I don't even know where to begin, except here, telling this website how I feel. Not one person in the real world knows what I am going through.  My mom had a hip replacement at the beginning of the month and came out of it a non-smoker, she has smoked longer than me.  But she won't talk to me about it though I hear her talking on the phone to others about it. She just stopped. My sneaky little nicotine mind thinks she is cheating, but there is absolutely no evidence.  I have told her (and everyone else) a million times that I am done, and a million-and-one times I have failed.  So this is just a secret agony I am going through by myself.  I am so glad I found this website.  You know what the funny thing is? I can't remember the last time I truly enjoyed lighting up and smoking a cigarette. Every inhale is a curse I say to myself.

Peace

M.

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61 Replies
TW517
Member

I had to give up alcohol altogether for several months.  And it wasn't even so much wanting a cigarette while I was drinking (I haven't done that in ages due to smoking laws).  For some reason, I would always smoke twice as much as normal the day after having a few drinks.  Even though I wasn't hungover, I somehow felt like I needed more nicotine to clear my head.  My cravings were always worse and more frequent if I had drinks the night before.

But yeah, been in your same situation too many times to count.  It wasn't until I crumbled up my remaining pack and dowsed them that I finally quit for good.  And I did it while I was smoking my first cigarette after dinner.  Evenings were when I smoked the most, so it made for quite a long evening for me.

millon03
Member

Same with me, the evenings I mean.  I can easily smoke 3/4 of a pack in a matter of a couple of hours.  I can smoke in my home (actually my parents home, I moved back in with them to help them out and give my dad a change to retire), so drinking and smoking are a huge habit. I will have to give up the beer I am sure!

YoungAtHeart
Member

We can give you the tools to use for educating yourself, planning, preparing, but you do need to actually USE them!  Everything you have listed are your excuses not to commit.  We can't do that for you.  DECIDE and then honor your commitment - NO MATTER WHAT!

You CAN do this!  I smoked for almost 40 years, and I did.  You can, too!  Get to it! 

(btw - why did you keep those last smokes around?  Doing so is just giving yourself permission to smoke them.  Don't!)

Let us help you DO this thing - you won't believe how wonderful freedom from addiction is!

Nancy

millon03
Member

Nancy, you are right. I just put my remaining 3 under the water and threw out my lighter along with them.  It is just a decision, nothing more.  One step at a time.  Next step, get the ashtray out of my car at lunch and douse it with air freshener. Thank you!

TW517
Member

YES!  Good job.  You're on a roll now!  Come back as often as necessary for encouragement.  You're gonna do this!

Look M...everyone here has done this, has been where you are, knows first hand what you're going through. Quitting is like learning, sometimes we didn't want to but we were willing. You must be willing to give it an honest go. You must be willing to do what's necessary. You must be willing to accept the change in your life. You must be willing to be honest with yourself. After that...you will be willing to become the person you didn't know you wanted to be. You'll find that quitting is so much more than just giving up cigarettes.

M n @ Signature 002-5.JPG

millon03
Member

Thank you Mike!  I am willing to do this. Starting now.

AnnetteMM
Member

I couldn't quit until my house was entirely free from all nicotine. Just a thought.

Also thinking that maybe your Mom doesn't want to put more pressure on you by talking about not smoking.