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Give and get support around quitting

Freedomcat
Member

Help

I've been panicking the past few days. Almost constant in the past 48 hours. Feeling completely overwhelmed. Terrified, a sense of impending doom, clenching burning in my belly, mind racing, overwhelming grief. Dont feel safe anywhere. 

I havent felt this way I about 2.5 years when i had a breakdown and went on stress leave for a year. Its come back with my quit and the only thing I can think of doing that feels safe right now mlm is to smoke. It's my safe place. Its what I turned to whenever I was overwhelmed and consumed with panic in the past. It's what I turned to when my mom on died suddenly 19 years ago. Now I dont know where to turn and the grief and fear feel absolutely overwhelming. 

The idea of smoking seems better than this. I dont feel I can cope with life like this. 

And I dont know if any of you can really help me. But thought I'd try.  

Tags (2)
80 Replies
TW517
Member

I used to have panic attacks years ago.  What helped then was deep breathing and focusing on objects around me.  Noticing how green that bush is, how wrinkled my shirt is....

I do know that cigarettes will not help.  That is your addiction trying it's hardest to make you believe that, but is just isn't so.  

YoungAtHeart
Member

If you can tell me how, exactly, smoking would make you feel better - I will tell you to go ahead.  But - REALLY - you know that it won't.  Can you call a friend?  Go for a walk? Play a computer game?  Do a crossword puzzle?  Find a yoga (or chair yoga) or exercise routine online and do that.  Practice slow/deep breathing, going slower and deeper with each, and thinking about your breath as it travels in and through each space, then follow it all the way out - then start again.

You need to get out of your head that smoking will help.  Find a NEW safe place.  Maybe take a relaxing bath? 

These feelings will pass - and I KNOW you will feel WORSE if you have to go back to Day One.

Get started!  Just do something - anything - to get your mind on something else.

Stay close and let me know how you do!'

You CAN get through this - you are relearning your life as an ex-smoker - and this is a lesson.  Ace it!

Nancy

AnnetteMM
Member

If you smoke now and the feelings go back into hiding, what will happen when you quit later? Is there really a time when you can not smoke and deal with the emotions that come up? Are you willing to postpone coping with grief and anxiety in order to continue smoking?

elvan
Member

Our feelings seem so much more intense after we quit smoking...that is because we never developed the coping skills that we need to be able to get past those feelings.  Grief is MEANT to be felt as is sadness, stress or anxiety, and anger...or any other emotion you can think of.  Like YoungAtHeart‌ said, actually THINK about what smoking would do FOR you as opposed TO you.  I did that after I quit and I am STILL learning to accept feelings that I stuffed the entire time that I smoked...this is a journey Freedomcat‌, it is one step at a time and often, it is one FEELING at a time. Don't let smoking pull you back in, I PROMISE you that this will get easier and I ALSO PROMISE you that smoking will NOT fix what you are experiencing.

I am so glad you came here and told us what is happening...please stay close, please find something to do to make these feelings pass...if you can exercise...you can tire yourself out enough so that the anxiety will pass.  Grief is really remembering whatever or whomever you are remembering, respecting, sending your love to.  You can do this and you will be stronger because of that.

Get down on your knees and ask God to remove the mental obsession....you may have to do it more than once and it HAS to be on your knees...it really does work.  I did not have much faith in it when my husband suggested it and I DID have to do it more than once but I DID feel something lifting.

Big hugs,

Ellen

Barbscloud
Member

Only had one panic attack in my life and it's quite scary.  Not long ago, I had that feeling coming on. I was able to divert my attention to something else and it did pass.  Is there someone you can talk too about anything else to get your mind to another place?  That's what saved me.  I know you want to smoke.  It feels like a safe place, but you're going to be so disappointed in yourself afterwards.  You've got a good quit going that I know you don't want to lose.  You can do this!

Barb

Beck37
Member

You said you had a breakdown 2 1/2 years ago and went on stress leave for a year... you were smoking at that time correct? Apparently smoking did not help then so why do you think it will now? Your addictive brain is grasping at straws... 

Talk yourself off of that ledge.... Run thru those beautiful woods of yours. Dance in the field. Wrestle with your partner. These have helped you in the past when clearly smoking hasn’t!

Hang in, hang on

Beck

Tabbiekat
Member

I won't lie it sucks having to deal with the pain/anxiety and life with out the use of nicotine that numbs you. I had 10 1/2 months smoke free when my husband passed and I started smoking again. I hated myself for smoking again. It took a good 4 months and a couple stops and restarts to get to where I am today. I miss my husband something fierce, I am also finally dealing with the loss of both my parents. In less then 3 years, my mom, dad and husband gone. I finally took the time to just remove myself from my daily life for a couple of days and used that time to do some deep searching. I was smoking at that time, but then when I got back home I quit again on 1/11/2019. With this quit I had the major urges and self doubt at first, but then I got back to reading the blogs, reading Allen Carrs book and realized not only was I just putting myself back into a bad place, but harming myself with the thought of smoking had I decided to go back to it. Getting on here and sharing my story, helping others, here or anywhere has been one of the best therapies for me. It helps get me focus on someone else's problems and try to find ways to get them out of their head-space while getting me past my own issues. Know that you can do this, just as I know I can and will not smoke again.

Keep coming here, let us know how you are doing and try to help someone else.

Tabbie

Madyzsgocka
Member

I too had a few panic attacks after I quit 25 months ago. I also just didn't know what to do with my feelings that I had been stuffing with lighting up for the previous 40+ years, or the grief associated with quitting so I just got busy. Walk, take a bath/shower. Have a bowl of nice cold, creamy, sweet, tasty ice cream, get on the computer and type - like you did here to keep the hands busy and the mind focused, work a jigsaw puzzle. Re-read Allen Carr, anything, do anything to not light up. You can do this, I'm praying for you girl. 

indingrl
Member

Yahoooo WELCOME! Thanks for sharing your courage and self honesty and your heart with ME- when i first start this NEW NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE - i was HELPED by the SUGGESTION to watch the videos at whyquit.com- Joel has help nicotine addicts for over 35 YEARS-its all FREE-watching the video HELPED with educating MYSELF with day one - day two - day three- withdrawl from all the chemicals in a death stick- just sharing what worked for ME- please take what HELPS and let go of the rest- thank you. CONGRATS AND GOOD JOB CHOOSING  TO LIVE YOUR NEW NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE - ONE BREATHE AT A TIME - TOGETHER - WE - US - you are NOT alone and please know I do appreciate you for sharing your experience with anxiety and HELPING ME to remember I was very nervous too of the - UNKNOWN NEW NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE TOO. You will be OK and its OK what your going through and mixed emotions and mixed new and old thoughts going round and round and ALL over the place in your mind just STOP turn your head and take 3 deep breaths and now just bresthe s- l- o - w - l - y..... Please know this takes TIME and you will be OK-  no worries-  WE - just have to get through ONE moment at a time then ONE second and then ONE minute. Breathe in - breathe out.  Gentle hug for you.