Hello Gwenivere- I hope my response doesn't make things worse for you. I have read most of your blogs but I don't think (memory going!) that I have ever commented. I do know you are not interested in getting rid of the nicotine addiction....you rgoal is to stop actual smoking because of the breathing issues. So----I'm not sure what to tell you but I thought I would let you know someone is out here and "reading" you!
I know you said your pulmonologist put you on more oxygen.....that your breathing is no better. But----I'll bet your pulmonologist did not say..........go ahead and smoke. You're at a low point and I understand....I really do. But, sounds like you may have more lung damage than 50 days of quit can fix. 50 days is GREAT!!! FANTASTIC! But let's face it------we all smoked more than 50 days. The damage we inflicted on ourselves took years. So maybe....give it more than 50 days for some healing and feeling better?
And I'm sure you are saying "easy for you to say"----and I don't blame you. When someone on here is in the pain you are in, I do feel my words are sometimes insignificant. But I hope you will hang in. I know these are bad days and I will keep you in my prayers. But quitting smoking can only do you good.......it just takes awhile to get to the good.
Now----if you would permit me----may I just add an opinion that you can feel free to totally disregard? Just give some thought......just thought.....to actually stopping the nicotine. I feel as if you and your coach have come to believe that if you do, the withdrawal will definitely make you smoke. Why? Just asking.....really......no judgement. You have no more chance of smoking than the rest of us. So why not get off the nicotine? Smoking is bad.......but nicotine also is not a natural substance for our bodies. You will never really get the full benefit of quitting smoking if you don't get rid of the nicotine as well. Patches, lozenges and your poor body struggling with breathing problems. Wouldn't it be a relief to just be done with both? Yes, the withdrawal can be tough.....but not impossible! I think you feel like smoking because except for the cigarette.....you really haven't gotten rid of the "smoking". You are still waiting for something else----patch, lozenge---to make you feel good, feel better. I just don't think they are going to. I think you would feel much better without those un-natural substances in your body. ANYWAY----just my thoughts. I know that anyone can quit smoking and by that I mean the nicotine addiction too. And I know you can also.
However----I respect your choice and hope you know I only wish you well. One thing you said really struck me.......feeling suffocated is so horrible---------------------I GUESS SO! Please........stay strong with your quit from smoking and seek support here whenever you need it.
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