Holiday Woes

[Ralph1955]

As with all of us, we look forward to the Holiday season that we spend with Family and Friends.  December has been a blah month for me for quite a number of years but, I try to muddle through the month. To many losses of family, friends and pets that leave me sad.

  This Christmas was no different   The Sunday before Christmas my mom took ill and we thought it was a back sprain.  She complained about the pain for a few days and on Sunday, December 23rd she was having breathing problems and almost passed out.  We called 911 and she was rushed to the ER.  The diagnosis was a shocker. Mom had both lungs filled with blood clots and we were told she was barely two days away from a massive heart attack or stroke.  

Mom spend 5 days in the hospital and is now in rehab where, thank God, she's coming along very well.  She's getting her strength back and in about 3 weeks will be sent home.  Coming so close to losing mom nearly destroyed me.  She just turned 89 and the thought of losing her is something I cannot think about.

With all the worry and stress and fear, all I wanted was a cigarette but my inner voice said ' and what's that going to solve'?  No need to worry, I did not smoke but Wow, did I want to.  I'm 11 days away from my 6 month mark and feeling Great.

 Please send out good thoughts for my moms quick recovery.  Love you all and hope you're having a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Ralph

[Barbscloud]

Ralph, been there so many times when I was smoking, so  I know how difficult this is for you.  My mother passed at 97.  Put my dog down this morning..  Smoking is always on our minds  when we're stressed like this. Having a rough day myself, but so far know smoking isn't going to  fix my sadness.  Best wishes for you and your mom.  MOM's are the best.

Barb

[Lauralives]

Barb, I am so sorry about you having to put your dog down!  My love and comfort are with you.  Hugs, Laura

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Hello, It is good to hear from you.  Congrats on your upcoming 6 months quit.  Glad you did not relapse.  I am sure that you learned a HUGE lesson.  >>>>You do not HAVE to smoke.  NOPE will keep you free.  Wishing you a happy  New Year and continued good recovery for your mother.  Don't stay away too long.  Thanks for sharingf

[RachelMB]

Happy New Year Ralph!  So glad to hear that your mother is okay and on the mend.  Amazing job on not smoking during an incredibly stressful situation.  I'm so proud of you!

Rachel

[sweetplt]

Hi Ralph

I am so sorry about your mom.  I am glad she is improving and you are so right, smoking wouldn’t have helped the situation.  I am so proud of you ... and an early Congrats on 6 months of Freedom. ❤️Colleen aka sweetp

[elvan]

Sending prayers up for your mom, Ralph, AND FOR YOU.  Congratulations on your approaching six month anniversary.  I am so glad that your mom is recovering well.   Happy New Year to you and yours and I am really glad that you listened to that voice that asked what good smoking would do.  

Ellen

[Lauralives]

Wow Ralph that was a close call.  So proud of you for sticking with your quit and glad that the angels were watching over your family!!

[KMC56]

Be PROUD and you accomplished a great feat...and you were able to be with your mom, and not taking a smoke break, creating disappointing guilt.

~Kathy

[Giulia]

Holiday woes and reminders and stresses are present for all of us on each occasion where we are brought back to our heart's core of missing those we love.  Animals or people.  It is what's so.  We are reminded of them because they're no longer with us to share the holiday of that remembered time.  

It is of course natural that we would gravitate to that constant "seeming" source of comfort - a cigarette.   But it is not the cigarette that holds us and feels for us and bleeds with us.  It is our friends.  Even if we have only ONE friend.  And in the case of EX, you have many friends here who hold you and bleed with you.  Because we've been there.  

I too couldn't imagine the thought of living without my mother.  I didn't know how I would survive it.  She was my best friend and confidant, she was the person who contained all my history.  And she was my steadfast, no-matter-what, I-will-be-there-for-you whatever champion.  Unconditional love.  She died at 68.  I am so jealous of those of you who have had the fortune to have had your moms around for so much longer than I did.  (Well, those of you who loved your moms and had a great relationship with them.  Otherwise the sooner the better!  lol)  Cherish the time together.

Of course you're going to want a cigarette.  So what?  Trust me - it will not comfort you in the way you really want to be comforted.  It's a cigarette.  It's not a hug.  Ya know?  

Cigarettes don't hug us.  They kill us.  So beautifully slowly that we we don't even know it's happening.  Until the day we get the diagnosis we suspected.

Ralph - don't smoke.  Stick to your resolve.  Prayers for your mom.