Tired and disappointed

Discussion created by Kreid on Jan 4, 2019
Latest reply on Jan 11, 2019 by elvan

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Hello my ex family. Happy new year. I’m having such a hard start it’s killing me. I did so well the beginning of the year until my third day. I’m so tired of failing and changing my quit dates. I’m really going to reach out to you all I truly need support. I really in my heart want to stop smoking now it’s just doing it as a routine. No one believe me anymore everyone laugh when I say I’m going to quit again I can’t blame them. But I’m dedicated to beating this bad habit I can and will do this. My new quit date is Monday the 7th please pray for me I can do this I won’t fail this time. I will read your suggestions and keep your post handy to keep me strong. Thank you for being there for me

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maryfreecig Jan 5, 2019 4:41 PM
Welcome to Ex. The first few weeks of quitting are very much about dealing with craves. This is an addiction and the craves are real, but with preparation you can find the quit you are looking for. Please take some time to accept that craves come after quitting. They do not need to be monsters that you run from or deny. At Ex, you will receive support about dealing with craves, but inthe mean time, please learn more about the nicotine addiction.

Yes you can quit, one day at a time.
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elvan Jan 6, 2019 12:36 PM
As maryfreecig says...this is an ADDICTION, it is not just a bad habit like biting your nails. This is something that you are addicted to and you have to accept that, education about this addiction is HUGE. I have found that coupled with the support from this site and my own commitment to my quit that I have been able to get through just about anything. I am not going to tell you that it is easy, there have been many seriously difficult times but once I accepted that smoking has never done anything FOR me, only TO me, I was able to go forward and KEEP going in that direction. I smoked for 47 years and I had COUNTLESS failed quits...UNTIL I came here and I listened, I became a part of this community and I accepted the advice they gave me. Youngatheart.7.4.12 gives a great welcome to newcomers and I am sure she will be along...PLEASE pay attention to what she says and all of the other advice you get from these amazing people who are committed to their quits and to helping you commit to yours and to understand that your addiction is going to go on and on and on about how you NEED it...YOU choose whether or not to listen to that. You can choose to be uncomfortable for whatever length of time a crave lasts or you can choose to accept whatever irreversible damage smoking may do to your body. I can tell you, from personal experience, that the latter MUCH harder and seriously cannot be forgotten, even for an hour.

Welcome to EX,
Ellen
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Youngatheart.7.4.12 Jan 6, 2019 12:41 PM
Welcome to our community!

No habit is this; it is an addiction - and as such the early days are difficult. This is DOABLE, though. Please use these next days as opportunities to educate, plan, prepare and then COMMIT to not smoke another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT.

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy
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Mark Jan 7, 2019 9:57 AM
Kreid be sure you you follow Re: How do I get my quit date to show on the community? to get your quit date updated on the community.

Mark
EX Community Manager
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anaussiemom Jan 7, 2019 10:08 AM
prayers sent
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elvan Jan 7, 2019 1:09 PM
Happy Quit Day!
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Giulia Jan 7, 2019 2:45 PM
One thing that helped me was to print out those things that people said that inspired me and reminded me of the kind of positive mindset necessary. I put them all in a binder and could just read them at different times through the day. Some were just sentences, some whole blogs. Another idea, go to Quick Quips and take one quip and meditate on it each day. When you have a craving, think about how the saying relates to your specific journey.

The first three days are the hardest for many. So aim for the 4th.
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Lauralives Jan 7, 2019 2:53 PM
Kreid you are okay. I felt the same way. I must have changed my quit date 20 times and yes I too felt like a failure but I am telling you, YOU ARE NOT!! Everything everyone else said stands as super important. But when we go to the place where we feel badly about ourselves it does absolutely nothing to help us quit. I think it is just the addiction keeping us down and in its clutches so we keep on smoking and kill ourselves. The only power it has over us is the power we freely give it so take back your and we are here for you!! You are a winner and I pray today is Day Won for you and if not we are here when you quit. The sooner the better though, OKAY??? Laura back to 7 DOF after smoking for 7 months after quitting for 491 day. :}
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jenking Jan 7, 2019 3:02 PM
You got this! I read that the urge to smoke only last about 3 minutes. When I feel that urge I get up and walk around as it passes. Today is day one for me as well, it is hard, but I don't want to go through this ever again!!! Sending positive vibes your way!!!
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indingrl.01.06.2011 Jan 7, 2019 4:56 PM
CONGRATS AND GOOD JOB!
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freeneasy Jan 7, 2019 8:39 PM
Truthfully, You will be so pleased and proud of yourself by doing this. Stay in the moment and stay committed. Believe in yourself and know you're doing the right thing.
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Mandolinrain Jan 7, 2019 8:46 PM
Your here and we are here for you. How are you getting along?
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alfie2869 Jan 8, 2019 6:58 AM
That is my date to that i quite. I found out no need it beating yourself up. It's ok If we slip we still have more chances to try again. You can do it one day at a time.
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Barbscloud Jan 8, 2019 7:28 AM
Welcome to the Ex. How is it going?
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sweetplt Jan 8, 2019 8:23 AM
Hi and Welcome,

Sometimes it takes numerous times quitting for one to stick. Be sure to go to the site becomeanex.com
The site truly helps you be prepared and makes you active in preparing for your quit. Hang in there and keep it here.
We will support you because we know how tough this addiction can be to beat. Tough, but doable. Gotcha in my thoughts Colleen aka sweetp❤️
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Mark Jan 10, 2019 10:26 AM
Kreid How are you doing? Please check in!
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sweetplt Jan 11, 2019 2:54 PM
Happy Friday
Wondering how you are doing with your quit? ❤️Colleen
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elvan Jan 11, 2019 5:10 PM
Would love to hear how you are doing and if there is anything that we can do to help you. Clearly, you were struggling, let us help you. Accept that smoking does nothing FOR you but you do not necessarily know what it is doing TO you...I promise you that it's nothing good. We want you to succeed.
Ellen
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Tired and disappointed

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