I've done everything wrong

[minihorses]

I hadn't been in the Christmas spirit this year at all.  I couldn't have cared less about getting the tree down and set up so they guys did it because they wanted it.  I didn't decorate it because again I didn't care.  I baked for my family and friends which usually brings me joy.  Not this year.  I got the boys what few presents they wanted.  I tried to surprise them with some off the wall, fun things to open but I apparently screwed that up and they didn't exactly like what they got. Due to my husband's stupidity they found out about the one yearly 'secret present' that was supposed to absolutely floor them.  This year we played the "A Christmas Story" movie's fun of saving it till later and hid it behind the couch like Ralphie's Red Rider bb-gun being behind the desk but they already knew what it was so it  lost the the fun.  My oldest is ranting right now about one of the presents I was positive he'd love. He's made no beef that he hates it and why did I buy it?  I want to slap him into next month.

My husband is gone today visiting his dad who has pancreatic cancer.  I haven't seen his dad and wife in many years.  Once again my husband asked if the boys and I could come down for a visit but his b*** of a wife, that I have nothing against at all, once again said no.  The boys haven't seen their ONLY grandfather in 10 years!  When hubby asked if just I could visit was that was shot down again.  I've had it.  They haven't liked me for the past 30 years and I don't know why so I guess I shouldn't be surprised but he is my father-in-law after all.  It may be petty but when the man dies I won't be at whatever they're doing for a memorial, that is if they do anything at all.

With emotions running so high I got so depressed.  I don't say anything to anyone here any more because every time I've opened my mouth about anything I get the 'no, your wrong' either verbally of by reactions.  I've really, really wanted a smoke but I have new coping skills to catch me before I fall.  

Thanks to my family of Ex-ers who always have an ear to listen to my whining, a shoulder to cry on and the strong care I need any time I need it.  Family is anyone, anywhere who cares and I certainly know you are part of mine!  I'm keeping this quit no matter what!  I've worked too hard to blow it now. Thanks again guys.

Julie

[marciem]

(((Julie))) minihorses ... you need a hug and a minihorses Thank You ‌ darlin', for making it through all that and NOT smoking, and for trusting us with your pain which though not the same pains, we do all have something there.  All the "sappy happy" Christmas folks are covering up, I think... and I'm usually one of them.  I did all the right things for the wrong reasons this year (because "You're supposed to"...) and didn't make anybody happy including myself , so there ya go   .  You're not alone. 

WE appreciate your efforts, understand what you are going thru....  and btw are you sure we don't share a son (the one needing a slap into Sunday for ingratitude?)

So proud of you for using your newly learned coping skills instead of reverting back to chains!!

[minihorses]

Unfortunately the son I most want to slap into next month has Asperger's syndrome. BUT he's mostly high functioning so I don't count the autism part

[YoungAtHeart]

I think we have been doomed to holiday disappointment by the way it was depicted on TV and the movies as we were growing up.  The ideal families depicted probably do exist somewhere - but no one I know is part of one.  I have very low expectations now - and try to go with the flow as much as I can.  Thank God we can choose our friends, because we are stuck by natural selection with our families........

I am sorry your holiday was so lousy - but I think yours is more of a norm than we would like to think.  I am SO glad you didn't lose your quit over it.....for then the grouches would have won - and they aren't worth it.

I hope your New Year brings you peace and hopefully a bit of joy!

Nancy

[Barbscloud]

Sorry your feeling so down.  Holidays certainly can be difficult.  Everything seemed to be so much simpler when I was growing up and  I always appreciated the gifts I got for Christmas.  It's a different world we live in.  Don't have any idea what "your wrong" about.   Certainly if it's how your feeling, it can't be wrong.  I hope the New Year is brighter for you.

Barb

[elvan]

Julie,

It's good to hear from you, I am so sorry that the Holidays have been so difficult and so sorry for the family issues.  I am very, very proud of you and happy for you that you are staying smoke free...you KNOW that we are all here to help you in any way that we can.  I know a LOT of people who seem to have had difficult holidays this year, it seems to have been a challenging time for many people.  I certainly felt it myself.

You are in my thoughts and prayers...I really wish that son of yours would come around, I am so sorry that the surprise was spoiled...hey, you certainly gave it your best shot.  May the new year bring much happiness to MANY.

Love,

Ellen

[anaussiemom]

[minihorses]

Leave it to you to make me laugh!  Thanks for that Kim.  Luv and hugs going to you.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

I am glad that you have not smoked.  That would really be the pits.  That should put a smile on your face.   Someone had a bad Christmas and used it for an EXcuse to smoke. Thank God that you did not.  It is okay to have a pity party as long as it does not last forever. I am sorry that your Christmas was not what you would have liked for it to be.  Sounds to me no matter what you would have given to the boys you may have gotten the same response but if possible they can exchange them for something they really like  You have no control over your in-laws.  One day they may say they are sorry.  But in the meantime don't hold your breath. You may not feel like doing much when you’re down in the dumps. But one of the best ways to free your mind of those pesky negative thoughts is to go out and do something totally spontaneous. Take an impromptu road trip to go visit a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Visit your favorite store and treat yourself to a new outfit. Create your own excitement in your life. You are responsible for your happiness. Pets are therapeutic. And they’re smart. They can sense when you’re sad. Even if you don’t have a dog, cat, or other pet, you likely have a friend who does. So try spending some time around animals and watch your stress melt away. Go to Laughter is the Best Medicine‌ and find some things that will make you laugh.  We are here for you.  

[Barbara145]

So sorry you are feeling so sad. Before I quit smoking I was overly-sensitive.  As my quit grew longer I found myself so much more emotionally stable.  Stuffing our emotions with cigarettes prevents emotional growth. I think you will have an easier time accepting the behavior of others and not blaming yourself for it.  Each one of us is responsible for our own behavior.  Congrats on your quit.  Be kind and loving to yourself.