cancel
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Give and get support around quitting

Bstar888
Member

Anyone here have smoking relapse are 90 days in?

Hi y'all! I'm new here and have not ever shared my attempts at quitting with anyone before, but I've come to realize that no man is an island, and being independent is fine until you come to terms with actual dependency upon a substance. 

That being said, I've been around this "mountain" several times before, and every time I come to the 3 month mark... I crack!  I start smoking! The desire is so incredibly strong that it even supercedes the first week of quitting. It's beyond my understanding as to why. 

Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation, and how did you defeat it? Why does this happen at this point of quitting? Any insight would be very, very appreciated! Thanks in advance, and congrats on making the decision to live, and to live without cigarettes!  

Tags (1)
31 Replies
Giulia
Member

Oh WELCOME! to this site and my similar experience.  I've given up at least two quits at the three-month mark.  Why?  I think that there are several reasons.  For me, I still wanted one, but felt rather secure in my quit.  And thought I could have just that "one" on that special occasion. THE EX ONE PUFF FILES    It was always a "special occasion" that gave me the "permission" to smoke just that "one."  Which of course turned into the next 15 years of smoking.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/08/12/understanding-excuses?sr=search...‌  

And there's just something about that three month period that is very dangerous.  I've always said, "If you still want one, you're still vulnerable.  Protect your quit."  I'm trying to go back in my mind as to what made me more vulnerable at that three-month mark.  (I quit 12 years ago.)  Part of it is probably entering a stage of maintenance, when the excitement has subsided and it becomes just a drudgery of holding on day after day.  No Man's Land.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-days-30-to130-appr... 

The fact that you're AWARE of this tipping point is in your favor.  When we recognize something, we can then take steps to change and overcome it.  

How I ultimately defeated it?  I became aware of an on-line support group and actively participated daily.  I became educated about this addiction.  I gained the necessary knowledge to overcome it.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2018/03/01/quitting-is-a-skill-that-can-be-learned?sr=search&searchId=8e7f0773-6b...‌  And stayed connected through continuing educations and offering support to others on their journeys.  I truly believe it is only through support that I bested this beast.  You've come to the right place.  Stick around.  We might be able to help!  

Cheers!

Bstar888
Member

I like that line... "Protect your quit." This is all so helpful. Not gonna lie, I've smoked again... But I just dust myself off and keep on the quitting train. Thank you for your reply and sorry I didn't respond sooner... I was struggling with failing, lol.

desiree465
Member

Ah no man's land it is a bitch to get through. There are soooo many blogs about it on here that it will blow your mind. Everyone goes through it you are not alone!

Bstar888
Member

Thank you so much! I had no idea that there were others, it actually made me cry with relief... (Sounds silly, haha)

dljensen
Member

Stick to your quit, I'm having trouble getting past 60 DOF in no man's land.

Just went through a crisis. 

0 Kudos
Gwenivere
Member

Same thing is happening to me.  Tomorrow makes 60 days and I really feel like giving up.  Same thing too....crisis, and several of them all at once.  Ironically, one is getting the meds for my panic disorder that is being so challenged by the withdrawl symptoms.  Makes me want to scream at everyone in each crisis......why are you making things so complicated when I can barely think straight?  I’m having a hard enough time just trying to do the basics of life.  

0 Kudos
dljensen
Member

What??? Why do you think that I'm making it iso difficult? You have no idea what I've been through!!!!

0 Kudos
Giulia
Member

I don't think she was saying that to you, dljensen‌, I think she was speaking to "everyone."

YoungAtHeart
Member

Operative words, " Makes me want to scream at everyone in each crisis...."

I agree with Giulia - she wasn't directing those words to you, but to the folks who are instigating the current crises in her life.

Please don't take offense - I am sure no criticism was meant.

Nancy