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Give and get support around quitting

jamesandadina
Member

How to quit when you kind of don't want to?

Need to quit. But kind of don't want to. What can I do

34 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

You don't have to want to quit, but you must be willing and and committed to it.  No doubt about it - it's not easy, so you really have to get your mind in the right place.  A good place to start is to understand that smoking actually does nothing for you - all you believe it does is a lie of your addiction.  Read on to get a better grip on it!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
 
 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site.
 
 After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.
 
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...


The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
 
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

indingrl
Member

Please go read all about nicotine addiction and YOUR own choice and decision to continue using - NO one can do for you what you MUST do just for you-when you have all the FACTS on nicotine addiction choose just for YOURSELF to live exactly as you WANT-you are FREE to smoke and die early or live to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF-thanks for your self HONESTY and COURAGE-GOOD JOB!

I don't think anyone really wants to quit. But eventually reality finds it's way into the middle of our addictions and at least for a moment, we think we SHOULD quit. That's a beginning. Like the opening of a door that as addicts we'd slammed shut in order to keep smoking.

 That's how it started with me. A thought that I should quit. And of course the next thought was, "I don't want to." and then we kick around the idea for a while. For me, once I got past the the thought of quitting and believed that I really might actually quit, the next thing I felt was fear. We always fear quitting. It's just so darn inconvenient to change our entire lives. Our addiction tells us that we like smoking because that's always been the answer.

 Read all you can. You must educate yourself about addiction and look inside to see just how you interact with that addiction. Do you smoke to relieve stress? Do you smoke because it makes you feel good? There's a lot of work to do but if you do it, then you will become successful.

 And as our addiction begins to calm and we can see the truth, we realize that we actually don't want to be a smoker for you see, once we see through the lies of addiction we find reality. And when we find that reality and our foundation of addiction comes crashing down, we realize that in the end, we really did want to quit.

 Quitting is a kind of process and that's why everyone mentions education. I mean, you wouldn't fly a plane if you didn't know how right? 

 I'd recommend that you stay close to the site, do the suggested reading and then do what must be done to prepare so that you can take your life back from addiction. Try to understand that when you say you don't really want to quit that this is the addiction talking. I look forward to hearing of your continued success.

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

maryfreecig
Member

     Acceptance? There are a lot of things we don't want to do as adults but we act responsibly. Cigarettes/nicotine add a factor of addiction which makes smoking seem oh so bad, but oh so good. Why quit when cigarette smoking is just so enjoyable? Uh, because we really understand deep down inside that there is high risk of paying an unacceptable price for smoking. Even as we smoking (seemingly feeling OK there is a huge price to pay for smoking). So the dependency gets in the way of being reasonable about quitting. But with support and planning you can quit and fully get over the dependency. 

    I quit a while ago. Because I did, I haven't smoked 43,000 cigarettes. When did I quit? Over five years ago. 43,000 cigarettes? How can it be? Easy, I smoked 19 to 24 cigarettes everyday. It adds up. I smoked every 20 minutes to an hour, and if I woke up during the night, I'd smoke a few cigarettes then two. This isn't love, it's dependency.

    Today, I am so glad that I didn't stay locked in my addiction smoking those 43,000 cigarettes, 100,000s of puffs and spending about $15,000 to to so. My health would have gone down hill. And to have the dependency in the rear view mirror rather than a daily grind. It's heaven.

    Please learn about this addiction. That's step one.

Giulia
Member

 I smoked every 20 minutes to an hour, and if I woke up during the night, I'd smoke a few cigarettes then two. This isn't love, it's dependency.

Bingo!  On point truth.  All excuses lead to buts and more butts.  We don't love cigarettes, we are just helpless and full of excuses - until recognition allows for no more psychological escapes.  The truth is really hard to swallow. But once digested it comes out fine in the end.

elvan
Member

This is not easy but it is so worth it, you will smell better, you will feel better, you will gain more self respect as well as the respect of others.  You have to be willing to do whatever you need to do to stay quit...you need a plan, you need to recognize your triggers and plan for things to do INSTEAD of smoke when you do quit.  You have gotten great advice above, please remember that this is a journey and it is one day at a time, one step at a time.  It's not something you can rush, there are no shortcuts but it is something you will never regret.  It gets easier and easier...

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

Mandolinrain
Member

Thats pretty much how most of us felt. We didn't really want to quit....some of us loved it. I loved it and hated it at the same time. Thats when I decided to truly try to understand why that actually was. What I found was I was an addict. Addicted to Nicotine.

If you are going to wait till you 'feel' like quitting.....it may or may not happen. Ever. At least not until you take some serious time and come to know what your up against...understand the HOWS and WHYS that you keep going back for more and as you put it......"Need to quit but kinda don't want to". 

That just my thoughts, hopefully you choose a plan of action and begin your journey soon before IT gets the best of you.

Sootie
Member

The truth is that no one wants to "quit" smoking (meaning--no one want so to go through a quit process)........but......

The truth ALSO is that no one wants to be a smoker.

That's the conundrum of it.......

Who in their right mind would really want to pay $6.00-$8.00 per day for something that injures your health, makes you smell and these days......makes you a social outcast.

It is "fear" of quitting that makes most smokers keep smoking......not that they really WANT to be a smoker.

So-----to test if you really want to keep being a smoker.....answer this question honestly to yourself.......

If you could go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow a non smoker......no withdrawal, no quit process just poof! You wake up free from addiction. Then......would you say no....I'd rather just stay a smoker?

Welcome to EX.......always glad to have a new member to our community. We are all here for each other.

desiree465
Member

lol I felt the same way when I quit. I really loved loved smoking. I had to quit because I started having trouble breathing. So I sucked it up and did it. Now you suck it up too! You might surprise yourself, we're stronger then we think.