Need to quit. But kind of don't want to. What can I do
Welcome to our community!
You don't have to want to quit, but you must be willing and and committed to it. No doubt about it - it's not easy, so you really have to get your mind in the right place. A good place to start is to understand that smoking actually does nothing for you - all you believe it does is a lie of your addiction. Read on to get a better grip on it!
The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be. You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you. The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T. You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do. Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Please go read all about nicotine addiction and YOUR own choice and decision to continue using - NO one can do for you what you MUST do just for you-when you have all the FACTS on nicotine addiction choose just for YOURSELF to live exactly as you WANT-you are FREE to smoke and die early or live to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF-thanks for your self HONESTY and COURAGE-GOOD JOB!
I don't think anyone really wants to quit. But eventually reality finds it's way into the middle of our addictions and at least for a moment, we think we SHOULD quit. That's a beginning. Like the opening of a door that as addicts we'd slammed shut in order to keep smoking.
That's how it started with me. A thought that I should quit. And of course the next thought was, "I don't want to." and then we kick around the idea for a while. For me, once I got past the the thought of quitting and believed that I really might actually quit, the next thing I felt was fear. We always fear quitting. It's just so darn inconvenient to change our entire lives. Our addiction tells us that we like smoking because that's always been the answer.
Read all you can. You must educate yourself about addiction and look inside to see just how you interact with that addiction. Do you smoke to relieve stress? Do you smoke because it makes you feel good? There's a lot of work to do but if you do it, then you will become successful.
And as our addiction begins to calm and we can see the truth, we realize that we actually don't want to be a smoker for you see, once we see through the lies of addiction we find reality. And when we find that reality and our foundation of addiction comes crashing down, we realize that in the end, we really did want to quit.
Quitting is a kind of process and that's why everyone mentions education. I mean, you wouldn't fly a plane if you didn't know how right?
I'd recommend that you stay close to the site, do the suggested reading and then do what must be done to prepare so that you can take your life back from addiction. Try to understand that when you say you don't really want to quit that this is the addiction talking. I look forward to hearing of your continued success.
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!
Acceptance? There are a lot of things we don't want to do as adults but we act responsibly. Cigarettes/nicotine add a factor of addiction which makes smoking seem oh so bad, but oh so good. Why quit when cigarette smoking is just so enjoyable? Uh, because we really understand deep down inside that there is high risk of paying an unacceptable price for smoking. Even as we smoking (seemingly feeling OK there is a huge price to pay for smoking). So the dependency gets in the way of being reasonable about quitting. But with support and planning you can quit and fully get over the dependency.
I quit a while ago. Because I did, I haven't smoked 43,000 cigarettes. When did I quit? Over five years ago. 43,000 cigarettes? How can it be? Easy, I smoked 19 to 24 cigarettes everyday. It adds up. I smoked every 20 minutes to an hour, and if I woke up during the night, I'd smoke a few cigarettes then two. This isn't love, it's dependency.
Today, I am so glad that I didn't stay locked in my addiction smoking those 43,000 cigarettes, 100,000s of puffs and spending about $15,000 to to so. My health would have gone down hill. And to have the dependency in the rear view mirror rather than a daily grind. It's heaven.
Please learn about this addiction. That's step one.
I smoked every 20 minutes to an hour, and if I woke up during the night, I'd smoke a few cigarettes then two. This isn't love, it's dependency.
Bingo! On point truth. All excuses lead to buts and more butts. We don't love cigarettes, we are just helpless and full of excuses - until recognition allows for no more psychological escapes. The truth is really hard to swallow. But once digested it comes out fine in the end.
This is not easy but it is so worth it, you will smell better, you will feel better, you will gain more self respect as well as the respect of others. You have to be willing to do whatever you need to do to stay quit...you need a plan, you need to recognize your triggers and plan for things to do INSTEAD of smoke when you do quit. You have gotten great advice above, please remember that this is a journey and it is one day at a time, one step at a time. It's not something you can rush, there are no shortcuts but it is something you will never regret. It gets easier and easier...
Welcome to EX,
Thats pretty much how most of us felt. We didn't really want to quit....some of us loved it. I loved it and hated it at the same time. Thats when I decided to truly try to understand why that actually was. What I found was I was an addict. Addicted to Nicotine.
If you are going to wait till you 'feel' like quitting.....it may or may not happen. Ever. At least not until you take some serious time and come to know what your up against...understand the HOWS and WHYS that you keep going back for more and as you put it......"Need to quit but kinda don't want to".
That just my thoughts, hopefully you choose a plan of action and begin your journey soon before IT gets the best of you.
The truth is that no one wants to "quit" smoking (meaning--no one want so to go through a quit process)........but......
The truth ALSO is that no one wants to be a smoker.
That's the conundrum of it.......
Who in their right mind would really want to pay $6.00-$8.00 per day for something that injures your health, makes you smell and these days......makes you a social outcast.
It is "fear" of quitting that makes most smokers keep smoking......not that they really WANT to be a smoker.
So-----to test if you really want to keep being a smoker.....answer this question honestly to yourself.......
If you could go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow a non smoker......no withdrawal, no quit process just poof! You wake up free from addiction. Then......would you say no....I'd rather just stay a smoker?
Welcome to EX.......always glad to have a new member to our community. We are all here for each other.
lol I felt the same way when I quit. I really loved loved smoking. I had to quit because I started having trouble breathing. So I sucked it up and did it. Now you suck it up too! You might surprise yourself, we're stronger then we think.
We all felt the same, and used the "I really like smoking" as excuse to keep smoking. The reality is that our "like" is about the high the cigarette gave us with every puff. Accepting we are addicts, and change our lives with this knowledge in mind is what makes the difference between a successful quit and a failed one.
Quitting requires a lifetime commitment, but it can be done, if you put your mind to it.
You might not be ready today, but if you take the time to read everything it's been made available to you, you might change your mind and declare yourself ready for it.
That is the first step; and the rest, we will help along, we'll help you see/find the best way for you to quit. We are all different, but there are at least 2 truths defining all of us: we are addicted to nicotine, and smoking kills.
Please stay with us, read, make a plan which suits your needs, and go for it. You will be happy and proud of your decision, and that will be stronger than the inconvenient craves you have to go through during the process of quitting; we'll teach you how to deal with these too.
Congratulations on finding us!
Lots of previous good advice. You say need to quit. Suggests to me there’s a health issue maybe? That’s what got me. I had no plans of quitting til a hospital stay and now using occasional oxygen. I liked smoking too, like everyone else. I didn’t even have time to plan for this, but it was time no matter how I spun it. I can only say it’s your choice, you have to choose your priority. If you choose to quit, this place is a great help. Keeps me going.
I did it by coming to this site everyday while I was still smoking, reading and sharing honestly how I felt. People here gave me suggestions and honest feedback. I eventually got to a point where I was willing to attempt to stop. I made a quit plan, set a quit date, and kept coming to the site everyday in the beginning of my quit. Now it’s a few months out. I think of smoking less, no big craves. I still visit the site to check in because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
I didn’t have time to make a plan. I came here when I was still bargaining with cigs even tho I was released from the hospital after 10 without any. It was always an issue because of my COPD. I wasted that 10 day start and realized.....my gawd, I am really an addict. I got some kind reprimands that I needed and am now at 2 weeks. I truly relate to the newbies, but have such appreciation for those that have years under their belts and stay to help those in need. Congrats on your few months. I don’t even like cigs anymore. I’m grateful for that. Just want the nicotine and will tackle that with the NRT program. NOPE has a whole new meaning for me. Craves are more intense for the nic, just waiting til distractions to work better.
Sorry to say but you may not succeed without really wanting it. Each person is different and some may be able to quit by learning all about the addiction. If you can identify the areas you need to concentrate on to turn that 'I'm not sure I want to' into an 'I want to quit and will do what it takes to ultimately achieve that goal' your success may be more solidified. Keep Close to Ex and actively protect your decision and ability to quit. We'll be here anytime you need a hand.
Hi, I didn’t want to either. My story may be unusual and can’t say everyone will have my experience, but it’s possible. I’m 57, half to 3/4 pack a day smoker for 37 years. Last winter, about this time, I began having bad shortness of breath. Blew it off to allergies or whatever. It got worse and after smoking became worse. Went to a pulmonologist and diagnosed with COPD? What!!! I’ve never had an issue before this. Long story short, I use a puffer everyday, still have difficulty breathing even without exerting myself and IT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME! I quit last July and will never smoke again. Too late, only time will tell. I want to play with my future grandchildren and just be able to breathe normally. Have since takes two sisters to quit. Just my story, get what you can from it?
You have to be willing to change your mindset. That you do not need to smoke.
Hi, I quit on December 3. I hate this crap and would embarrass myself telling you how often I have thought about having a cigarette since then. I am taking this as it comes. Every lousy crave is a mental wrestling match. I am noticing some things like taste and smells. Some of the stronger smells I could do without in all honesty. My reason for putting up with this is really basic. I am smart and smoking is dumb. It's time, hell, it's way past time!!
You know what? When the idea of smoking comes up, drop it. Don't argue with it. Change the subject. Don't entertain it. If you do, you entertain the devil. the addictions devil. Just one day at a time, on hour, one minute. Don't even think about the future. Just live smoke free in this one moment. You can do it. and what a beautiful way to ring in the new year.
List your reasons why you need to quit, then compare to why you don't want to! I pretty much felt just like you feel.....
Welcome to EX.
I needed to quit, because while sick I was sent in for a chest x-ray to see if I had pneumonia! I didn't, but they did find some spots on my lungs, and here I am 1 year and 102 days later into my officially last time ever, having to quit this addiction that was ruining my health and costing me money! My spots a year later are calcified, but that doesn't matter. The scare of hearing spots on lungs that could potentially be, or even lead to cancer spoke volumes to me! My life matters more than smoking. Welcome to EX, and I hope you are willing to jump on board and beat this addiction along side of the many here who are doing it !
Sandy, you are so right! your life does matter more than smoking. Congrats a year and a hundred days??? that is great.
Keep in mind that you CAN do this...it's a journey, not a battle. You will learn a lot on this journey, about yourself AND others. We are all here to offer you any help that we can, Youngatheart.7.4.12 has offered you wonderful advice. Stay close to the site...read and take advice that is offered. Set a date and read everything you can about this addiction before that date, get the support that is coming from this site, and COMMIT to your quit. You can do this, you certainly do not want to smoke yourself into an early grave, right?
You know, I'm curious. You asked what I consider a rather casual question here and you got a whole bunch amazing responses from those new on the quitting journey to those who have years of experience at it. Did you read any of them? Are you even still here? Member Since 12/11 Last logging in 12/11.
Please let us know if you're still interested.
Yup , still here. I will have the first month tomorrow and still am going day to day. Sometimes I still have strong cravings and these comments and ideas are very helpful. I am still challenged every day and have trouble accepting the concept of never having another cigarette. Maybe I can smoke again after I am diagnosed with a terminal illness.
Funny you mentioned the return to smoking after being diagnosed with a terminal illness. I used to think as you did - but on thinking about it further, I realized it would not be what I remembered because I understand that all I thought it did for me was a lie - cigarettes are a device designed by Big Tobacco to keep me an addict.....and to keep their pockets lined. I have decided I would not give them the satisfaction of ever giving them one more penny of my money Did you know they put COUGH SUPPRESSANTS in them to negate our bodies natural reaction to their poison??!! That really ticked me off!
Congrats on almost a month! It actually should continue to get easier and easier now. Be aware that you might still get a hummer of a crave, out of nowhere - your addiction's final push to get you back. Use the tools you found helpful in the early days, and you will emerge victorious. Those will end as quickly as they came - then it's just maintenance.
Excellent comments. Thank you
Why, why, why even say something something so silly. One cigarette and you are an addict again, and laying in a hospital bed going through with drawal again. Don' t be so silly. congrats on your month quit. You are through the hardest of it now. yes, you are.
Yes it's a very silly thought. But there are a bunch that have come to me in the last month. As I attempt to fasten my pants over my expanding waistline, I know I can get through this if only for the next crave.
Slow/deep breaths will get you through ANY crave. You have to be disciplined about it, though. No crave ever killed anybody, and it will end whether you smoke or not. Do not expect to let a crave beat all the hard work you have done.
Your mind is your most potent weapon in this fight against addiction. Perhaps you could look at the crave as a wave to surf? Or the path to a mountaintop? Each crave you get through lessens the number you will have and their strength. Word!
Congrats on a whole month (tomorrow). Be proud, that's an amazing accomplishment. Stayed focused on that one day at a time mentality.
@Pawr That message was meant for you!
My opinion is you can quit only when you want to quit. I think the best thing you can do is educate yourself on quitting and the effects of smoking. Knowledge is Power. Then I think you need to evaluate this addiction and do you want to continue it until someone tells you ...”you are sick and have to quit smoking” work on it and make the choose your’s, not someone else’s. Keep it here and at least try quitting, eventually one will stick. Gotcha in my thoughts. Colleen aka sweetp
If you kind of don't want you....... you won't. But you will torture yourself for a couple of more years, until you get the fatal diagnosis,,,,,,, the big C in throat, mouth, lungs bladder, heart attack etc. Then look back to this day and say I kind of don't want to., do you kind of want to die from cancer??? your choice. Your choice. You choose cancer, you choose to give the people who love you a load of grief when they are sitting by your hospital bed and weeping at your early demise. At that time, remember your choice. Mouseology by Bretislav Pojar - NFB
Not sure what your answer would have been to my hypothetical question of....if you could go to sleep and wake up a non smoker.....would you want to........................but I do really need to say this...........
In my FIRST quit that lasted 13 years (yes---sadly, 13 and then I started smoking again) the REASON I think I was not successful is that I had the mindset you are now presenting. I kept thinking I was missing something, that I was a martyr, that everyone "could" smoke except for me and why weren't they worried.....and on and and on and on. I never quit the LIE that smoking was fun....I just quit smoking. At some point, please try to change your thinking about this disgusting addiction. It is not fun, it is not socially acceptable and it makes you smell. It ruins your teeth, your breathing, your heart. It uses up an extraordinary amount of money on absolutely nothing.
I hope that you quit smoking....but I also hope you are able to quit the idea that smoking is something you want to do one last time before dying. You want to make love one last time, you want to hug your grandchildren or children one last time...or your family. You want to spend time with a dear friend and exchange ideas one last time. You want to see one last sunrise or sunset, hear a piece of music you love or re-read a beloved book.
But trust me-------the last thing you need to do again before you die........................ of this THANKFULLY SO FAR FICTITIOUS DISEASE...................is have a cigarette.
You CAN do this, you do not have to WANT to do this but you DO have to be WILLING to go through some things that might be challenging. You have to accept that smoking never did and never WILL do anything FOR you...it will do LOTS to you and you might not even know it is happening. I am so sorry that I smoked for so long, I am so sorry that I allowed Big Tobacco to steal my breath from me. Whatever time I have left on this life....it will be SMOKE FREE, taking the best care of myself that I can, AND being grateful for every breath I still CAN take. As for that expanding waistline Pawr, your quit HAS to be your number one priority at this point...gaining a little weight is not going to kill you...one step at a time.
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