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Give and get support around quitting

Gwenivere
Member

Breathing and anger

I’ve been to the ER twice this week for shortness of breath.  Once I thought I was going to faint.  The docs there said they have seen this before.  That helps, but is this a reaction others have experienced here?  I’m usung patches and lozenges, but nothing IN my lungs.  It’s been 6 days.  I have bronchiectasis, another form of COPD, but it never did this.

I have the usual mind fog and other symptoms, but one I didn’t expect was severe anger.  I have horrid leg and back pain and I get so fed up I want to scream.  People slightly do anything annoying or I have to walk I just want to cry from frustration.   The pain would do that on its own, but in combo with quitting I’m a mess.  

I know there are no magic time frames, but is there some light in the future that this will start to turn around?  I have no desire to go back to smoking.  I just hate feeling like a b*tch all the time.  Even my dogs piss me off.  They’re happy to see me come home and I want them to leave me alone.  I love my dogs.  I guess my question also is when do I get some of me back because this person I do not know existed.

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7 Replies
marciem
Member

Extreme moodiness and anger (RAGE even) are all common parts of the quitting process.  So is brain fog.

This initial process is extended by use of NRTs.  But even so, there is no map or definite time-line, every individual is different and finds things happening at different paces.  Just know that the nicer, kinder you WILL return, as will your brain.  Six days is very early time, even though it seems like forever right now.  It is short term compared to the time you spent smoking, and even short compared to the time you spent cutting back (not being judgemental, just pointing out the fact).

Rome wasn't built in a day, and a strong quit takes longer than a week to construct.

You're doing great, and almost done with Hell Week... Heck week is gentler   .

Barbara145
Member

Congratulations on 6 days  You rock!  As for all the other stuff, you will get through it.  It is an amazing shock to our bodies when we quit smoking.  Anger, light-headedness to be expected. Be very kind and gentle with yourself.  Your dogs will understand.  You will be a much better Mommy after you learn how to navigate through this amazing journey that you are embarking upon.  I smoked for 52 years.  It was difficult but with the help of this site it was doable.  I absolutely love not smoking, not thinking about smoking. You will get there one day at a time. 

YoungAtHeart
Member

You are almost through H#ll Week, then on to Heck Week.  The first couple of weeks are the worst - but the change in your mood, anger issues, will level off over time.  I am surprised you are having this many physical issues using an NRT, and wonder if your impatience, fear, COPD, are leading you to experience the issues you are having?  The physical withdrawal symptoms should be greatly reduced with the NRT - so I am at a loss for what to tell you.

This does get easier, and better.  It just takes some time.  It's why I NEVER want to go back to Day One again!

Hang in there!

Nancy

I'll tell ya, I was never able to quit because of that very thing. In fact, that's what I'd tell people every time they asked me about quitting. It was one of the lies of my addiction and what I'd always say was "Last time I tried to quit, I couldn't even stand to be around myself!"

 That was my standard excuse to keep smoking for so many years that I almost believed it before I finally did quit. It's true that our irritability level is way higher as we grapple with what is a new world. Not that the world changed, but we did the moment that we decided to put out that last cigarette. It's hard to deal with at first because every time we want to do what we always did before which is reach for a cigarette, we can't.

 And that does make us angry because every time we can't do what we believed was normal to deal with a given situation, we get confused. Sometimes confusion becomes anger. What I did when this happened to me was to look for exactly what was making me angry and you know what? At first I always believed that my anger was unfocused but in reality is wasn't.

 When I really looked inside I realized that my anger was based on the confusion that I was feeling. It seemed like every time I wanted to do what I always did, I couldn't. And what made it worse was that there were times that I wasn't sure what to do instead. This created a confusion that was in reality frustration.

 What you're feeling right now is normal. We all feel like different people at first because we are! And the reason for the frustration isn't actually because you can't do what you used to do. It's really because you won't and I applaud you for that! You're turning a corner and sometimes, the addiction fights that.

 When you ask how long before you become normal I have to say that it takes as long as it takes us to realize that we're different, because we are the moment we put out that last cigarette. One day at a time we learn what to do instead of what we used to do. One day at a time our minds begin to calm as the confusion lessens.

 This is one of those moments that can make or break a quit. Embrace that you are now different and you will discover that it's OK. That in this case, change can be good. You're doing a fantastic job and look how far you've come already. It wasn't that long ago that you weren't sure six days was even possible, even with the NRT's. But look at you now!!

 That anger does calm with every day of freedom that we live. Hang in there. None of this strange world that we must live at first is permanent. And by the way, CONGRATULATIONS ON SIX DAYS!!! This is how it happens. One day at at a time.

Sorry this was so long. I actually intended to give the shorty answer. OOPS!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

elvan
Member

I am so proud of you...yes, I felt that rage and the shortness of breath that brought on panic...the stronger you get, the better able you will be to deal with anything that this quit throws your way.  You are getting stronger by the minute.

Love,

Ellen

Gwenivere
Member

I can only speculate our lungs are not used to getting nothing but oxygen.  I hope that hell week will ease up.  The NRT's help, but the body is screaming for what it knew.  I was telling a coworker that doing this again keeps me going to avoid.  I don’t even want a cig.  Thanks for all the support.  It’s another lonely night without my husband, this was date night and I’m earing take out alone.  This is definitely an emotional trigger.  Smokes or not, it’s the loneliness factor.

Thanks to Chuck, I was able to figure out that even with the NRT, I am not getting what my body was used to.  14mg spread over a day less 8 hours sleeping and 6 lozenges is lower so I’m not surprised I am having withdrawals.  It’s much slower too.  There’s no instant reward in these and that’s what the brain wants after decades of it.  

So, onward in hopes I do become a person who doesn’t think about it anymore......but it’s a long road to OZ.  

YoungAtHeart
Member

The light at the end of the tunnel will get brighter and brighter as you give this some time.  It WILL be worth it - It WILL!

Nancy