A wonderful blog by Thomas. Here's a link to the original blog with attendant comments. They also offer interesting points of view.
November 30, 2016 by Thomas3.20.2010
- You were just diagnosed with a malignant life threatening illness
- You tragically lost your Mother, Husband, Child
- Your house was burned to the ground
- You divorced, went bankrupt and face homelessness
- You were laid off the job you’ve had for 12 Years
- You became the victim of a violent crime
What would it take? What might be your “reason” to forfeit your Quit Journey?
These are the times when some members come here in tears and confess that they relapsed. Many are waiting and expecting an outpouring of sympathy and support for their relapse!
I have seen times when the Elders have been criticized not only by the relapser but by other well meaning members for not offering unconditional love and support believing that we don’t understand or sympathize with their situation.
In fact, Elders understand all too well how the person relapsed! We don’t just talk the talk – we walk the walk! Sadly, many of us have lived out the above scenarios smoke FREE! Circumstances didn’t make us relapse because we know that there is no “reason” to smoke!
N.O.P.E.! No Matter What!
I’ll speak for myself – I have genuine sincere sympathy and compassion for the tragedies of life. I’ve experienced them myself like virtually all of us!
And I am far from holier than thou! I’ve relapsed dozens of times! Look up serial relapse and there is my picture! But those days are gone forever!
How can I be so totally convinced?
For the Recovering Nicotine Addict – tragedy doesn’t “make us smoke!” That is another Nico-lie! Relapses aren’t caused by life’s circumstances. Relapse is the result of violating the Law of Addiction. Any excuse a relapser gives for “slipping” is total non-sense.
[The Law of Addiction: “Administration of a drug to an Addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance.”]
Recovery is the process of unhooking the relationships we have made in our Addictive Brains with Nicotine under all circumstances. Nicotine didn’t stop the tragedy and it certainly won’t solve or relieve it either! In some instances, Nicotine actually created the tragedy – I’m thinking of smoking-related illness – now that is the tragedy we fight daily to help you avoid!
Now you have the first tragedy of life compounded by the second tragedy of relapse! How has that made anything better?
Should the self-confessed relapser feel better after explaining their thought processes leading to smoking “just one?”
I often read things like “don’t beat yourself up!” and while guilt can be the very weapon of our Addiction to keep us using, if you are here to save your LIFE as opposed to feeling better for relapsing you probably won’t take much comfort in the hugs and well wishes. What you really need is to learn from your mistake and return to your Recovery as soon as possible!
I’m not here to gloat over other people’s failures! I’m here to protect my own Quit and to impart truth that could help you protect yours for all our sakes!
Why? Because I am my own victim! I have a chronic progressive incurable smoking related illness! I want better for you and the best I can get for me and for others suffering from smoking related illness.
I’ll give you a hug for your personal tragedy but not for your relapse!
If that’s not what you want to hear, then
“take what you need and leave the rest,
To be helpful is our only goal!”
Living Life on Life’s Terms – one day at a time for 2447 smoke FREE days!