Hello all!
I am looking for confidants. I have recently quit, 9 days strong. I have not let anyone in my life know about it yet. I have tried to quit about a million times before and let everyone in my life know each time. Then each time I would relapse and immediately feel like a fool around all of those people I had told. I felt like it had gotten to a point where they were all just being kind but not really believing in me. Who can blame them? My track record is anything but clean. Please keep in mind, all of my friends and family are non-smokers. Also, I guarantee if I did tell them they would be overjoyed for me. This unwillingness to divulge the information is purely my own issue. Or is it really an issue? I am struggling with this daily. Thanks for listening ex community. It’s nice to know you are here.
We are here indeed. And we ALL know what you're going through because we've been through it ourselves in our own ways.
Our quit journey is solitary in the sense that it's ours alone. But here you will find many understanding souls. And here you will not feel alone on that journey. For we all shall a common denominator - that of addiction to cigarettes.
You're just afraid of failure, is all. And afraid that you're crying wolf. That's not quite the right term, but you know what I mean. 9 days is good. When you have 100 days under your belt, you'll feel a lot better about shouting out your accomplishment to those non-smokers who love you. But also, to shouting it out for yourself. For when we blow our quits time and again, we feel like we're crying wolf to our own selves.
Wanting acknowledgement for our accomplishments is normal. But when we keep failing and asking yet again for the same rah rah's, it becomes hard for the person giving the rah rah's. And some probably were being kind thinking "oh, here they again with another attempt, I wonder if they'll make it THIS time...." And that's understandable, I think.
So? If you've quit a million times and told everybody each time - why NOT change things this time by not telling anybody? Seems you've already altered your past norm by not telling your friends and family. If something you've done in the past doesn't work, then it's GOOD to change the modus operandi. You could even keep your silence as a test to see who notices first. Or who notices not at all.
But, you've told US! You've confessed your success. Egad! (grin) To my mind it's only an issue if YOU make it one for yourself. The support here never ends. This time can be your final quit. How much you want it to be and how willing you are to put in the necessary work will be a clue as to your continued success.
I can tell you this quit family really cares and wants you to be free of this burden and slavery. We totally "get" the effects of this addiction and the difficulty in overcoming it.
Stick around. Glad you've joined us! And congrats on the 9 days. We also understand the effort that takes.