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Give and get support around quitting

gayle2
Member

i dont know what to tell you

OMG! Life is so intense. My dad has muscular dystrophy and hasnt walked since I was 6 or 7. Im 26 now and he is getting worse and my mom just got layed off. I should be in school or living on campus or living with a boyfriend or husband. Well I deliver pizzas and drive my mom where she needs to go. Just recently my parents were in a car accident and my dads knee is very badly bruised and has a hepatoma which is pockets of fluid around the knee. Its pretty bad and he needs surgery to remove it. My dad has a complicated health insurance. For years we have tried to get assistance at home to get him on the bed and on the scooter and help him use the bathroom. His life is so limited and my mom is so frusterated and depressed that she hits him and abuses him. I stopped her but that scared me. Nurses do the same when the family isnt around. My dad is helpless and nurses who dont know him personally dont know how to help him. Nobody knows. I work 40 hours my sister works 40 plus too and we live at home. I work and try to support my mom and dad. There vehicle isnt totalled but I dont know what we will do. In this world now is unacceptable. I have no health insurance and I had scoliosis surgery when I was 12 years old. I have used heroin since I was 18. My boyfriend just got tested for HIV and Hepatitis C and it was negative but he has migranes. I take pain killers and muscle relaxers and I will be on pills for the rest of my life. My life and spirit ended when I was 13. I have been depressed and down and out. What the hell more can I take? Smoking is like breathing since I was 15 or 16. I am slowly killing myself and I never thought I would live this long. I really wanted to overdose and go to the next world. I read the bible now for inspiration, and being Jewish has limited my knowledge of all religions. I would say I have been saved but I am open to anything to help my empty hopeless feelings.
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3 Replies
dawn-withrow
Member

Gayle,

Wow, I think my days are hard, and then I get a wake up call that what I am dealing with is cake. My biggest gripe is 3 healthy children who drive me to the brink of insanity time and again each day. I personally hate the word religion, because it puts things into confinements and makes things sound like they shouldn't at least in my book. Never mind religion, call on God, and get Him with you and in you. He will help, not by solving all your problems, but by being there with you through it all, gently guiding you to the places you need to be, being your strength, your comfort and everything you need. Also, please take the time to talk to someone affiliated with church about Jesus and how they might possibly be able to help you and your family. That's what they are there for, and your family needs to have some help to relieve the stress. Please stay in touch so we know how you are doing.
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tempest
Member

Gayle,

I know what you mean. My life isn't as hard as yours but it is hard. I am on full disability for Fibromyalgia. Pain is a trigger for me. I have it daily however, some days are way worse. I drown my pain in coke-a-cola and nicotine. Not the best of choices. Enough about me....do you have any hobbies? Do you do anything for relaxation? Your problems will be there nonetheless. But it is the coping that will get you through. Religion is a good way to cope and help you through many of your, if not all of your problems. I am Catholic (christian) Do you have any questions for me? I will try to answer them the best I can and if I can't I will get the answer from more wiser people. 😉 I am sure you have noticed that the Old Testiment is the same as the Tora. It is the New Testiment that Christians and Jews differ on. hahah Putting it mildly. There are many great inspirational readings in the New Testiment. Which Bible are you reading from? Catholics read from the New American Bible. It has 5-6 more books than the King James version. Those books are located in the Old Testiment.

I find reading, anything, guided imagry, music, and getting outside helps for most stress. Some of the best music to de-stress to is Blues and Reggae. Both of them have the "Life sucks but I am muddling through it somehow" attitude! haha But one good thing about life is adventure comes in all forms. From going to a vintage music store and listening to new music, to going for a trip to no where. It is all a matter of perseption. Life doesn't really suck, it can at times. But then again it can be the ultimate experience too.

You sound tired and worn out. Try meditation, prayer, stretching, soaking in a hot bath, guided imagry, reading or some new kind of music...soothing kind of music. After you have de-stressed and feel more energetic then move on to something grander. But right now it is all about regaining your strength and your sanity.
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tempest
Member

Hello hothula, thank you for the welcome.
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