Gayle,
I know what you mean. My life isn't as hard as yours but it is hard. I am on full disability for Fibromyalgia. Pain is a trigger for me. I have it daily however, some days are way worse. I drown my pain in coke-a-cola and nicotine. Not the best of choices. Enough about me....do you have any hobbies? Do you do anything for relaxation? Your problems will be there nonetheless. But it is the coping that will get you through. Religion is a good way to cope and help you through many of your, if not all of your problems. I am Catholic (christian) Do you have any questions for me? I will try to answer them the best I can and if I can't I will get the answer from more wiser people. 😉 I am sure you have noticed that the Old Testiment is the same as the Tora. It is the New Testiment that Christians and Jews differ on. hahah Putting it mildly. There are many great inspirational readings in the New Testiment. Which Bible are you reading from? Catholics read from the New American Bible. It has 5-6 more books than the King James version. Those books are located in the Old Testiment.
I find reading, anything, guided imagry, music, and getting outside helps for most stress. Some of the best music to de-stress to is Blues and Reggae. Both of them have the "Life sucks but I am muddling through it somehow" attitude! haha But one good thing about life is adventure comes in all forms. From going to a vintage music store and listening to new music, to going for a trip to no where. It is all a matter of perseption. Life doesn't really suck, it can at times. But then again it can be the ultimate experience too.
You sound tired and worn out. Try meditation, prayer, stretching, soaking in a hot bath, guided imagry, reading or some new kind of music...soothing kind of music. After you have de-stressed and feel more energetic then move on to something grander. But right now it is all about regaining your strength and your sanity.