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Give and get support around quitting

Jennifer-Quit
Member

Stress, Stress, and More Stress

It has really been a stressful few months at work.  We have been in the process of selling an apartment complex, and I have had to revamp our accounting system at the advise of our broker.  It didn't affect the bottom line - but we now have to go half way around the world to end up at the same place -

We closed on this sale late Friday.  One of the owners is out of the country, and he left me instructions to wire his share of the proceeds to his account.  He did not leave me adequate and complete instructions so this did not happen until early Monday morning.  This very large sum of money was deducted from our account on Monday but has yet to show up in his account due to a banking error.  We do know where the money is - but it is ridiculous that 48 hours later it is still not resolved.  I am literally sick to my stomach.

I would be a liar if I said that the thought of smoking had not entered my mind the last couple of days.  But I will say that it is not really a crave or even a urge but more like a memory of what I would have done in the past.  In the past, I would have been a chain-smoking fool dealing with all this mess even though it would not change or expedite anything.  I know that it will work out - and smoking is not required. 

10 Replies
Giulia
Member

Are you breathing?  In 2, 3, 4 ,5 pause Out 2, 3, 4, 5.......

If the owner didn't leave you adequate instructions it's not your fault.  If the bank made an error, it's not your fault.  

Smile.

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I remember those craves, or rather impulses that occur after we've been quit for a while. I used to call them phantom craves because they contained no power. At that point, I think the only way to relapse is if we grab hold of that impulse and give it some power, which you obviously didn't do! Stay strong!!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

elvan
Member

I remember those memories...when I had Bijou euthanized, I sat in the car with my grocery list and the thought of a cigarette briefly crossed my mind...I wanted to stuff down the feelings because I really did not know how I could survive that loss.  Fortunately...I knew nothing good would come of it and I knew that I did not want to relive my first day or my second...

Giulia is right and none of this is your fault...remember that.  

Hugs,

Ellen

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Jennifer-Quit
Member

Well the money finally showed up - so I am sure that I will sleep a bit better tonight.  Even though it was not my fault, it was my responsibility to get it fixed.  And FYI - NOTHING is ever my boss's fault - lol

Giulia
Member

I hear you.  Sleep well!

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Sootie
Member

Oh Jennifer! I could actually feel your stress and your sick stomach as you described this! I hope it is resolved by the time you read this. As to your smoking.......well, I know you never would! But, your description was great----not a crave but more a memory of what you WOULD have done in the past........excellent. Completely describes that feeling........I've had it more than once especially under stress.

Hang in........I am sure all will be well.

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Sootie
Member

OH!!! I just read your comment and I am soooooooo glad it was resolved.

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JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Glad it all ended well.  Get some rest. 

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Barbara145
Member

So sorry you have been so stressed lately...Hopefully, you can breathe now and get back to enjoying your life. 

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