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Give and get support around quitting

Jimbone
Member
‎10-07-2018 10:56 PM

Did I mess up

Coming home after a long drive, my 1st since starting my quit. Stopped at party store to pick up a few snacks to watch Sunday football with. A middle age lady was pacing outside the store and she was smoking. Hard. I went into the store, dismissing the seeming discomfort she appeared to be in. Avoided eye contact. Bought my few items and returned to the car. She was still outside, doing the same thing. I could have spoken or looked at her at least and saying nothing, by the time I got home I felt sadness. Don't know what burden she was dealing with in her moments of distress but it's so not like me to at least not acknowledge the person. Perhaps I was just staying safe and minding my own business but the way she was fixing on her habit, our habit, tells me I won't let a potential opportunity to maybe assist by simple inquiry pass again. Maybe I'll get another chance. Maybe I did what I should have. I'm over the depression now, it worked itself out because for now i tossed the incident to our higher power. I'll make eye contact next time if there is one, because that's the real me. If I made mistake, I might never know, but if I'm supposed to share to a stranger about my quit with someone who might have ears to hear, who knows where I, where we can help. It's a gamble. Life is. We want to know. Maybe i was looking away from my own quit battle? We all need to be cosmically positioned to learn to respond. Appropriatly and with focused, practical and effectual timeliness. If we let the Spirit lead we will. I will try. If I ever get another chance

7 Replies
autumnpepper
Member
‎10-08-2018 12:01 AM

I think the ability to relate and have empathy for others is a gift from God.  I love your giving spirit! 

I am disabled. I know God uses our afflictions to help others.  

I have fibromyalgia.  To most it's invisible.  If I don't Pace myself I can cause a flare. Then I'm no good for anyone.  I was severely depressed about my illness and dwelling on the fact that there's no cure.  Then the Lord lead me to church, I haven't been in many many years.  

I found that the church I went to has a nursing home ministry. I really missed visit my mother in law.  So, ever since that day, which was 10yrs ago, I stopped dwelling on myself and love going to see all those wonderful folks!  It's hard to dwell on yourself when you're helping someone else.

You seem to be really in tune with the Lord.  I think if the Lord wanted you to help the woman you would have.  So, don't kick yourself.  

I think it's amazing that you felt such empathy for her.  Maybe there will be a next time. But even if there isn't.  God used the situation to teach a lesson.  

It's really awesome that you have such a kind heart. Congratulations on your quit.  Keep it up! 

SaraCorinne
Member
‎10-08-2018 06:38 AM

I believe you were just protecting your precious quit and there's nothing wrong with that!  

Giulia
Member
‎10-08-2018 09:32 AM

If you took away no questions from the event, then I think you might have messed up.  But this blog is a blessing in that not only did you wonder, but you shared that wondering with us.  So we might all learn.  Thank you.

Barbscloud
Member
‎10-08-2018 10:01 AM

This made me think about the phrase that you can't take care of anyone else, it you don't take care of yourself.  Maybe this was just one of those times.  Protecting your quit is important to your own self-care.  But, very touching that you cared so much that you're still thinking about it.

Jimbone
Member
‎10-08-2018 10:26 AM

Hope you all can see this response. Still learning how to use the community so not sure about marking any if your right answers 'correct' so I won't LOL. Altho every reply brought a tear. That dried. Here's why. INSIDE the store my friend behind the counter asked me "how many (packs) today? My confident response was "none, I have 4 weeks quit this coming Wednesday." I mentioned to him that the whole idea sucked, but that I'm gonna keep going. Just street corner emoting for sure.

BUT. This is the part that got me. He beamed at me and lit into me with a stream of encouragement. Told me I looked better and advised if I get bored to get out and DO SOMETHING. He told Me that I can make it. This is my ex "pusher" talking. This was the great side of the sad encounter on the OUTSIDE of the same location. Which one do I go forward with? Staying on the RIGHT SIDE. I'm in the here and now and working on me today. Can't convince me both sides of a single coin don't have worth. Thanking you all again. Have a great day as you deserve.

Bellegonia
Member
‎10-08-2018 11:38 AM
In response to Jimbone

Perfect. The UNIVERSE is amazing.

elvan
Member
‎10-08-2018 03:08 PM

I know that at the beginning of my quit, I HAD to look away from smokers...now, I can usually manage a smile but it's not easy because I really do not want to breathe in THEIR smoke when I have worked so hard to cleanse from my body.  I don't scowl at them and I don't look away any more, I just smile and hope that I convey some empathy.

I love that your former "pusher" congratulated you.

Ellen