ok need help

[jennifer55]

The man I am in love with is a non-smoker. He doesnt like that I smoke. Although I am not quitting for him but for my son and my own health...it is reeally tearing me up that I am disappointing him with struggling to quit. Every night he asks how many I had. True yesterday I had more than I should have..kind of crashed and burned but still was trememndously less that what I used to smoke just a few days ago. Last night seeing his disappointment in his eyes when I told him is really bothering me. He said he is proud that I am trying but I could see his eyes telling me he wishes I would try harder. Unfortunately this morning I am dwelling on it and while thinking about that not realizing I am smoking while I am dwelling. I have had 3 cigarettes alreeady in 2 hours and the last few days I had cut back to 8 in a day. GRRRRR. I am thinking to try the patch again hoping I wont have the headaches like last time. But I am also second guessing myself again about how bad do i really want this for I seem to be finding excuses to smoke.

[jen40]

Yes it is hard when your spouse doesn't smoke cause they can't even begin to understand why its so hard for you to just stop. No one but a smoker them selves will understand that. Maybe you should have him read some of the things on this site, let him read how hard it is for others not just you. Then maybe he'll be more understanding about it. I hope it gets better for you. I am going to try the patch too, hopefully it will help us both to cut back and then stop all together! Good luck!!!

[teri-smith]

Hi Jennifer,
I have been married to a non-smoker for 16 years. I just quit 1 month ago. This is not the first time that I have tried, but the only time I have succeeded. I never made it more than 3 days before. My husband used to tell me I didn't have "will power". I think he finally "GOT" it when he saw me go through the worst withdrawls ever 6 days into my quit. I tried the patch for the first 3 days but they made me seriously sick to my stomach so I threw them away and went cold turkey from that point on.
The 2nd day cold was the worst! I came on this site after seeing the commercial on T.V. and had a melt down . I sent out a call for help and the calvery showed up in force. The first week was by far the hardest. Thats why it's known as "Hell Week". Tell your man that it isn't "just" nicotine that your body is withdrawing from, it's also about 18 other chemicals that are in cigarettes that your body is trying to get out. Go to WWW.Whyquit.com and you and he will see just what is in a cigarette. Let him know that his support is key to your quit. You may not succeed the first,second or third time. AND It's nothing to be ashamed of. As long as you try, THAT is what matters. And keep trying. You WILL do this. You have to believe it to achieve it. I smoked for 30 years, I'm going to be 42 in Oct. I have a 6 yr. old daughter. If I can do it, so can you. Stay with this site, you will find a method thats right for you. Thats the key. Ask everyone thats quit how they did it and you will find your way somewhere in there. I have faith in you and I'm here to give you whatever support I can. Hang tough sugar. Your NOT alone.

[jennifer55]

Made it almost 20 hours with no cigarettes..Would have been 29 but slipped once. I sent him some articles people sent me and I think it clicked. He felt so bad and apologized tons yesterday. He is sompletely different about it, he agrees he still doesnt understand but he really believes in me and my desire to quit. He has a different attitude about it which is really helping me. The people here are a huge help too:)

Thanks!!!!

[vicky2]

Hi Jennifer I totally understand where you are coming from my husband has never smoked a day in his life I on the other hand have been a smoker for 25 yrs. They just can't comprehend the addiction and how serious and how powerful it really is. You can't let him get you down and make you feel like you should be ashamed of yourself even though that's not what he is trying to do that's just how we take it. You need to focus on you and your wants you have to want this quit. I am on day 7 smoke free and I am telling you it does get easier you just have to over come the cravings let him help you that is what I did with my husband this time every time I would get a trigger I let him know and he helps me through it. If there is anything I can do let me know.

Good Luck to you! I know you can do this!! Hang Tough my friend:) 🙂

[edith2]

Jennifer, what I suggest you tell your man is this is YOUR addiction and being harrassed about how many cigarettes you smoked is not helping. Sounds like you're getting resentful(GRRR)and this will only make it harder for you. Don't worry about what others think. Sounds like you have self-esteem issues too and that's hampering your effort to quit smoking. So listen: YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON!! YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER!! You deserve to have the happiness of being a non-smoker! If the patch gives you headaches, try something else like the lozenges. If you build up your self-esteem, that alone will abolish the excuses you're coming up with to smoke. And tell your man to back off! You need his support, not his nagging!