Howdy and Welcome! Yes both your posts are up and running, we see them both. In the future it's best to just post one, so all responses can be combined on one rather than scattered about. It helps you as well as us, because we refer back to posts to see other responses that come in. Usually simply as a conversation or a blog, unless you have a specific question.
You have had a couple of two-year quits. That's impressive. But as you said that was 10 years ago. That's the problem with this addiction. Once we take that one puff after having quit, we tend to carry on smoking for YEARS before another quit attempt.
There's a lot more information available about how to quit, successful nicotine replacement drugs, web sites, etc. since you last quit. This site is pretty phenomenal in it's community support and "quit plan." I would say whyquit.com offers more no BS truthtelling from someone who has a great deal of understanding of the nature of this addiction (even though I believe he never smoked.) So I would recommend you use that as a resource also. Many here point to it. There's also just a vast storehouse of information available there.
In this journey to freedom you cannot have too much information. Knowledge is one of the keys to breaking our relationship with quitting. Reading will be your best friend. Because reading reinforces your new mindset. (So does supporting others on their journeys.) And you must have a new mindset in order to conquer this beast. You also, in my opinion, need to really sit down with yourself and ask and answer a lot of serious questions. Why did you lost several two-year quits? What caused each relapse. How will this experience - this quit - be different? Those of us with long-term quits did just that. And that's why those with long-term quits here often talk about the growth they have had emotionally and spiritually. Many who quit smoking DO go through a transformation. A new recognition of themselves. It is an incredibly empowering experience if you choose to view it in that manner. I hope you do!
You say you "reallyyyy" need to quit for your health. Don't wait so long you don't have a choice. This time can be the final time. But you have to put in the time and effort, the commitment and get rid of every excuse that comes to mind. You've set your quit date several weeks ahead. That's good. You have time to prepare. A strong preparation makes for a strong quit. Chin up. FORWARD!
One day at a time you can find a smobriety that works day in and day out.
