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I just keep failing. Please help

Question asked by tessoshea on Jul 27, 2018
Latest reply on Aug 9, 2018 by Barb102

I had 40 days at the beginning of June. I worked out, I went for walks, I read, I came to the sight, I breathed, I didn't drink alcohol ( trigger), I talked to myself a lot about how good it was and that quitting was the most important thing in my life. It felt good.  Had a crisis ( who doesn't) and bought cigarettes. Did another quit, traveled to help a friend, didn't think much of smoking. I live alone in a town where I know only one person who I never see. I have no friends here.   As soon as I got home I saw someone smoking, bummed one, and have since bought a pack. I smoke when I am alone. I somehow imagine it is my only friend. I am waiting to hear about a new job and am alone too much. This time was just 17 days. 

I am going to re-do my quit date and start again this weekend.   I feel horrible and feel like NO ONE is the addict that I am. I am embarrassed and ashamed. I am mad, I hate myself.  I have a health issue and smoking is ridiculous and dangerous. I have avoided this sight, but I realize it is the key for me.  That little monkey just gets the best of me. 

I have Allen Carr's book and will re read it tonight and tomorrow.  I have patches, I have gum and straws.  I felt so good and so confident after just a few days the first time.  I had moments, of course, but I made it through.  I guess I just don't know HOW to beat the triggers.  I have cried hourly since I bought them. I have since thrown them out but it is morning. 

I think I just have to get over it, start my quit again, and move forward. 

Please let me know your thoughts. # I am miserable.

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