I had 40 days at the beginning of June. I worked out, I went for walks, I read, I came to the sight, I breathed, I didn't drink alcohol ( trigger), I talked to myself a lot about how good it was and that quitting was the most important thing in my life. It felt good. Had a crisis ( who doesn't) and bought cigarettes. Did another quit, traveled to help a friend, didn't think much of smoking. I live alone in a town where I know only one person who I never see. I have no friends here. As soon as I got home I saw someone smoking, bummed one, and have since bought a pack. I smoke when I am alone. I somehow imagine it is my only friend. I am waiting to hear about a new job and am alone too much. This time was just 17 days.
I am going to re-do my quit date and start again this weekend. I feel horrible and feel like NO ONE is the addict that I am. I am embarrassed and ashamed. I am mad, I hate myself. I have a health issue and smoking is ridiculous and dangerous. I have avoided this sight, but I realize it is the key for me. That little monkey just gets the best of me.
I have Allen Carr's book and will re read it tonight and tomorrow. I have patches, I have gum and straws. I felt so good and so confident after just a few days the first time. I had moments, of course, but I made it through. I guess I just don't know HOW to beat the triggers. I have cried hourly since I bought them. I have since thrown them out but it is morning.
I think I just have to get over it, start my quit again, and move forward.
Please let me know your thoughts. # I am miserable.