If I am around friends that smoke, how can I fight the urge to pick up the habit once I've quit? Any suggestions?

[irishash_79]

I went to a recovery program and didn't smoke for a good month and then was discharged into a recovery community and nearly everyone smoked needless to say I gave in to smoking again. I am moving back to NYC and I plan to further my education, however I'm afraid that I will come into contact with others that smoke after quitting and I am afraid I may give in again to peer pressure. If I was around non smokers and connected with them, it would make quitting for good feasible, but how realistic is that? 

[Barbscloud]

 You're going to run into smokers just about everywhere and may even have family and friend that smoke.  You may want to avoid some situations at first, but it really hasn't been as hard as you might think.   My sister smokes and I've been around her since day one.  It's your quit, no one else's.   You have to remind yourself that you're you don't do that anymore.  You're the one that's gained your freedom!  That's why this support group is here.  You need to educate yourself an prepare for your quit.  You learn tools to use when you have cravings and when you're in those tempting situations.  We're here for you if you need help.   Just do it.  You have nothing to lose; only everything to gain.

136 DOF

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Set boundaries. That means either asking friends and family to refrain from smoking in your presence or leaving the environment when the Sickerettes come out. Only 1 in 5 (which is still atrocious)  still smokes so you can meet 4 people who don't smoke for every person who smokes. Have you noticed that smokers tend to attract like magnets? It's because it's easier to maintain an Addiction knowing that it is killing them. "Everybody I know smokes!" You could be saying that everybody I know doesn't smoke! You find what you're looking for!

[Danisty]

I'm not sure smokers attract because it's easier to maintain an addiction.  It might be true and it might be insidious that way, but I don't think it's the driving force that puts smokers together.  I think, at least these days, it's more that smokers are all relegated to the same location to do their smoking so who are you going to meet when you go there?

[Barbscloud]

I agree.  I actually was thinking about this afterwards.  I don't have any friends that smoke.  I'm trying to remember when I last did.  Has to be at least 15 - 20 years ago.  I was just used to going off by myself and smoking.  At work, you would meet up with the people who did.  I do have family members that still smoke.

[Danisty]

Not everyone will find themselves in situations where they'll just no longer meet smokers though.  For instance, my husband is in the military.  It would be almost impossible in this community to not make friends who happen to also be smokers, not just because there are more smokers in this population, but also the nature of the friendships you make.  I have had a lot of friends of circumstance.  I have a friend right now that I have basically nothing in common with.  Under "normal" circumstances, we wouldn't be friends, but her husband was in the same paramedic class as my husband and they both got sent unaccompanied to Korea together.  We are friends because we are just here in San Antonio needing to know somebody we can rely on for information, help, etc.  Neither of us is putting down roots here or pretty much anywhere.  While it's true you find what you're looking for, not all of us can afford to make non-smoking the number one important criteria on making friends.

[Barbscloud]

Sorry, I didn't understand this.  I still meet smokers and spend lots of time with my sister who is a smoker.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Make new friends but keep the old

One is Silver and the other is gold!

I think I was misinterpreted. I'm not saying that you have to dissolve all friendships with smokers and only seek friends who don't smoke. I'm saying that the more nonsmokers and ex-smokers you add to your social circle the less likely you'll be to only hang ot with folks who smoke. Also I said set boundaries - that doesn't mean dumping anybody - it means "Please don't smoke around me! I'm not ready for that yet (if ever!)"

[SimplySheri]

Good advice above   All I can say is you need to own your quit.  No one can make you smoke, no one can make you WANT to smoke if you don't allow it.  Take it and own it and don't let anything mess with your beautiful quit!!  Rather than letting your addiction make you feel weak and helpless, allow your recovery to make you feel strong and brave.  It's your choice and that is where your power lies  

Sheri

[elvan]

There are SO MANY places where you CAN'T smoke that I would think it would be a whole lot easier to be around nonsmokers than smokers...  I agree with Thomas3.20.2010‌ that if someone lights up...you walk away or at least not stand downwind of the smoke.  This IS your quit, you are the only one who can protect it and you are also the only one who can lose it.  Smokers do attract smokers...nonsmokers do the same.  Think about how embarrassed and ashamed you feel if someone who does not smoke finds out that you smoke.  You do not have to let this addiction own you...learn about it and remember that a quit is a journey and not an event.

Welcome to EX.

Ellen