Disappointed

[heidiv07]

Today I made it to the 48 hour mark and then just threw that all away. Those first 48 hours went by so easily and then when I woke up this morning I was having a constant battle in my head for hours and I finally let the addiction win. I felt great those first 48 hours and I was even breathing better already. I am using the 21mg patch so I know it want physical cravings, but mental cravings. I tired to prepare myself the best I could and I tried distracting myself all morning, but I wasn't strong enough. 1 cigarette led to smoking 10. I felt like crap after each one. I don't know why I did this to myself if I felt like crap after the first one. The only good news is that I am not giving up and have started over. I didn't even tell my husband that I slip because he would just say I told you so. He quit 9 years ago and it was so easy for him. He doesn't understand how much of a struggle it is for me. He thinks it should be easy for everybody to Quit since it was so easy for him. So frustersting. 

[Barbscloud]

We're all different, but  it isn't easy for most people.  It's your quit and your quit alone.  You have to do what works for you.  Great that you got right back on track and didn't wait to start again.  Have you been spending time on this site educating and preparing for your quit?  Along with the support on this site, it has made such a difference for me.  You're early on your journey, so stay close and reach out for help when you need it.  Don't wait till you've smoke that cigarette.   We'e here for you.

133 DOF

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

You are strong enough. Everyone is. We only need the willingness to change & grow. A willingness to cast away the old Heidi & embrace the new you. You're gonna love her. You CAN do this. Stick around & let us help.

Keep on keepin on,

[CommunityAdmin]

Welcome back to the site heidiv07‌! It looks like you were here a while ago as I see your quit date showing as 11/5/2011.  Get your quit date updated and synced to the community by following these steps Re: How do I get my quit date to show on the community?‌ Then get back here. The community has lots of helpful resources to assist you on your quit journey.  Perhaps your husband can come here and learn how to be supportive since he doesn't understand your quit journey is different than his.

Mark
EX Community Manager

[Sandy-9-17-17]

heidiv07‌  Well, you've already gotten two good responses, and so here is the third, and I'm quite sure there will be more to follow!   Congrats that you have made the choice to start back at it right away!  

Barbscloud‌  says it well, are you spending a bit of time here on this site?  Reading ?  Do you have a plan in place for when you feel like you're going to cave?  That question right there is important!   

You don't need someone saying I told you so, everyone is different, remind him....don't be to hard on yourself, and don't let him be hard on you!  Set yourself up for success by coming here often!   Everyone is very different, it's easy for some, and not so easy for many!  But I can tell you this, after 43 years, I am free from this addiction finally, and I do believe coming here and reading about everyone's journey has been helpful to my success at being a quitter.   It is very doable, and the best gift you can give yourself.....YOU said it yourself, you already started breathing better, and feeling better.  Why not make this permanent for yourself!?  I'm looking forward to your posts and successes!  You definitely sound like you have a good fight in you to win this battle!    We all will have your back Heidi!  

Sandy  310 Days Of Freedom

[SimplySheri]

Every quit is different but the same as once we quit, we can't smoke anymore.  It's up to you to find out ways to get through the cravings.  Make a list of all the things you love to do and make it huge and diverse.  Everything from chewing gum to eating at your favorite restaurant or getting a massage or knitting or drawing or singing or blowing bubbles....the list really can be endless.

Saying you aren't strong enough to quit is simply giving in to your addiction.  Of course you are strong enough!!  I can tell that from simply reading your post.  Do you understand the way addiction messes up the way we think?  Once I learned that, I was better able to correct my thinking  

My sister and brother-in-law quietly quit smoking around 9 years ago.  They didn't use this site, they didn't moan about it.  I'm sure they had discussions between them but you would never know from the outside that they struggled at all.  I'm glad they quit...I don't care about whether they struggled like I did or not.  I did it differently and used my support system a LOT   I quit 5 years ago.  We are all different but anyone can quit.  ANYONE.  That means you   Of course you can!!  Look forward to a smoke free life.  You deserve it!!

Sheri

[YoungAtHeart]

I am happy you are quitting again right away.  Too many take years to get back to it.

Did you do the suggested reading?  Did you plan and prepare?  Do the tracking and separation exercises?  We here know that these things work.  I hope you will avail yourself of what is available to you on this site and others.

Think about what you could have done differently this morning and make a plan NOW of what you will do differently in this quit.

You CAN do this...I know you can.  Do the work; let us help you!

Nancy

[elvan]

Don't EVER quit quitting.  Do all of the reading, go over your triggers and plan for what you are going to do instead of smoking.  Smoking does nothing FOR you but it does LOTS TO you and none of it is good.  My husband quit smoking with what appeared to be absolutely no issues.  I have no idea why it SEEMED so easy.  I DO know that fighting craves NEVER works because they are much stronger than we are.  Let the craves wash over you...recognize that they are there and also that they cannot hurt you, they cannot do anything to you as long as you don't smoke.  This is a journey and it is one step at a time...baby steps count.  If you need to keep your quit in the moment...DO that, it doesn't have to be one DAY at a time or one STEP at a time.  You just need to get through a minute. Stay very close to the site...read as many blogs as you can, read comments, make comments, pay attention to what has worked for others.  Know that you are not doing this alone...every person on this site has been where you are at one time or another.  We all had to start at the beginning and we had to find out what worked for US.  I ate Sour Patch kids and came to this site every morning and every evening, I blogged, I commented, I asked for advice and when it was given, I TOOK it.  I paid attention to what people were telling me because I knew that they were offering me the advice that worked for them.  We are here, remember that and don't get discouraged, sometimes, it takes many tries to get this quit thing down.  

Welcome to EX, glad to have you on this journey with us.

Ellen

[freeneasy]

You made it 48 hours and you're starting again. You're disappointed but don't be hard on yourself. Keep reading and learning about quitting and thinking about your quit strategy and learning about dealing with cravings. It's hard because we're dealing with a powerful addiction. You can do it. Quitting is doable!