Am I wrong to decline a date with a smoker? Part of me feels like a hypocrite.
So friends what do you think?
I think it's great to decline a date with a smoker. You know how insidious this addiction is and how we have to protect our quit at all costs. Just my opinion girlie, but you do what you feel is right.
Only you know the answer. Myself....I always trust my inrtinks . If it doe not feel right, then I back off. Its a lesson taught to me by my grandmother the I passed along to our kids...and it has never failed me. If I have no questions about it, no reservations...then I move forward. I am also a praying person so I do pray about it then follow through with what I mentioned above. Smokers are not 'evil or bad', they just have an addiction to Nicotine. Perhaps you will be the 'light' for this fellow . xoxo
Your taking ownership (control) of your own life and that is WONDERFUL!
Ya do whatcha gotta do!
Miles of Smiles...
It's absolutely alright for you to decline a date for whatever reasons. You have a right to set your own boundaries and it's much simpler from the first step than Months or Years down the road! You decide who you date - no justification required!
Personally I don't think that I could ever date a smoker. Like Thomas said, we have the right to decline for whatever reason. Nothing at all wrong with that.
The smoking is the main reason why I declined among a few other reasons but that got me thinking and wanted to see what my EX friends' thoughts were on this. As Mandolinrain said, they are not evil or bad but for some reason I feel guilty and hypocritical saying I wouldn't date a smoker. And it's not like men are lining up to ask me out (lol) but yes, I will NOT date a smoker.
I think you choose wisely ....but you had to figure that out
Here is a good way to weight the situation. Imagine having to kiss someone that smokes. Think about putting your head on his chest and smell a shirted filled with the stench smoke. Think about him having to always leave you to get that puff. Think about him leaving his cigarettes around and not being considerate that you are an Ex-smoker. Think about the attention taken away from you from him having to go buy, secure, get his fix and then come back smelling like a stinking cigarette. I guess you get my point. Nah, not me. Been there done that and won't do it again. You have your right to keep your freedom by any means necessary. No quilt trip.
Well my gag reflex works very well after reading this response....which was great by the way
I have a few EXtra silly thoughts. If you just want to go out on a date, just to go out on a date and not look for a future relationship, set your boundaries. (NO SMOKING!!!!!) It probably would be no date at all. lol js
I wish he didn't smoke! He is a bit older than me (13 years) but he is a successful business owner. His house is GORGEOUS! Last year at his x-mas party, he hired a piano player to play at his house all night, had waiters. Amazing!! He offered to let me borrow one of his 4 cars because he knows mine is old and I am driving it to Michigan this month. He is well off obviously, not bad looking, my height (6'0) but he SMOKES!!! He has been a client of mine for 15 years. Oh well. There are other fish in the sea...so I am told. Hahahaha
Oh. where at in Michigan! Do come visit!
Have you mentioned to him your concerns about smoking?
But you're not a smoker. No reason to feel hypocritical just because smoking is something you used to do.
Keep on keepin on,
I was gonna' say, "depends on how desperate you are" But then I remembered this image:
blech - nevermind!
I vote this as BEST ANSWER, lol
Hahaha. Yup, not that desperate! LOL
YUCK, I remember dating smokers before I was a smoker (caveman era) and I think I sort of liked the smell...I have completely turned that around. I don't like to even HUG someone who is a smoker...I just can't stand that smell. I don't think it's hypocritical at all.
Same here!!!! Can't stand the smell anymore! I have a hard time hugging the two daughters I have that still smoke.
It is ok to decline a date with a smoker, indeed! I would fear that it could cause me to fail at my quit! If you feel strong enough that it wouldn't and the smell does not bother you, then do what is right for you! Weigh it all out Kristen!
Saugatuck. Are you close??
kristen-9.7.15 Grand Rapids! You're going to the lakeshore!
Is that close?? I'll google it. LOL
About 40 minutes according to google. Bring the grand babies to the beach!
Sandy-9-17-17 But you have to pretend you don't know me from a quit smoking site. I'm going with my family and I was a closet smoker! Hahaha
kristen-9.7.15 Ha Ha....that's so funny! What day are you going!? Saturday I am at my grand daughter's Gus Macker Tournament....It goes 2 days, but we are planning on doing something fun on Sunday! Maybe we'll bring our bikes to Saugatuck! I have actually never been there! My boss goes there with her daughter shopping once every summer! That should be coming up soon! I'll keep you posted my dear!
I’m going July 25-29th.
Well, I will see what's up then, and I'll let you know! I can pretend very well!
Sounds good. I’ll PM you my #
I've found the medjool dates are the plumpest yet most wrinkly. To each his own.
AND they don't smell like a dirty ashtray!!!
To me it is not only the awful smell, it is also the emotional immaturity.
Gosh, I wish I said that. lol .
Well---no, I don't think the term you want is "wrong"---is it wrong? No, of course not. If I remember way back in the DARK AGES when I was going on dates....I said no for all sorts of reasons. This is one of yours.
Not wrong, Curious why you feel like a hypocrite.-You don't smoke.
And, then again, who perfect? He sounds like a great guy. Would it hurt to let him no your feelings about smoking and see what happens.
He’s tried for years to quit. I’ve given him the Allen Carr book and this site. Plus he is going through a divorce and I know he is still in love with her. He has a little too much drama going on right now.
kristen-9.7.15 Oh, there's other issues besides smoking. Definitely avoid the drama. I learned the hard way.
Sorry, lots of typos. Rushing to get to an appointment this morning. LOL
Retrieving data ...