I almost lost my quit date last night.
A lot of things have been piling up. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the tick crawling on me, after coming home to find my mailbox had been knocked down again.
So I went to my AA home group to open up and picked up the friend on the way to help me make coffee. I broke down and started crying, not something I do very often. At this point there were two friends sitting by my side, both smokers. I asked both of them for a cigarette and neither one would give me one, they both knew how long I’ve been struggling with this quitting thing. I was so strong out I was ready to give up my alcohol quit date (almost 3 years) and my smoke quick day, 125 days today. One of the friends whipped out some Marijuana Oil without the THC and told me to put a few drops under my tongue. Dumb to try something like that but I was just that desperate. I started feeling better, I don’t know if it was the oil, the friends, or the AA meeting. I had terrible nightmares last night, probably the oil.
What did I learn from experience ???
I am a mess.
Since I’ve quit smoking and did I mention I am an addict, I can get addicted to anything. Addicted to alcohol, nicotine,caffeine. I have doubled up on my caffeine coffee drinking which makes me crazy and not be able to sleep so I asked my doctor for some sleeping pills and they’re making me crazy-er and I think that is why I had a meltdown yesterday.
I am so ashamed to be such a whinner. I have a friend who quit the same time I did and he is constantly in a good mood and laughing. And to make it worse, he lost his mom yesterday. But yet I had a meltdown over a tick.
This site helps me so much!!!
125 DOF Gayle