Melt Down

[Gilamonster]

I almost lost my quit date last night.

SCARY!!

 A lot of things have been piling up. The straw  that broke the camel’s back was the tick crawling on me, after coming home to find my mailbox had been knocked down again. 

 So I went to my AA home group to open up and picked up the friend on the way to help me make coffee.  I broke down and started crying, not something I do very often.  At this point there were two friends sitting by my side,  both smokers. I asked both of them for a cigarette and neither one would give me one, they both knew how long I’ve been struggling with this quitting thing. I was so strong out I was ready to give up my alcohol quit date (almost 3 years)  and my smoke quick day, 125 days today.  One of the friends whipped out some Marijuana Oil  without the THC and told me to put a few drops under my tongue. Dumb to try something like that but I was just that desperate.  I started feeling better, I don’t know if it was the oil, the friends, or the AA meeting.  I had terrible nightmares last night, probably the oil. 

 What did I learn from experience  ???

 I am a mess. 

 Since I’ve quit smoking and did I mention I am an addict, I can get addicted to anything. Addicted to alcohol, nicotine,caffeine. I have doubled up on my caffeine coffee drinking which makes me crazy and not be able to sleep so I asked my doctor for some sleeping pills and they’re making me crazy-er and I think that is why I had a meltdown yesterday. 

 I am so ashamed to be such a whinner. I have a friend who quit the same time I did and he is constantly in a good mood and laughing. And to make it worse, he lost his mom yesterday. But yet I had a meltdown over a tick.

  This site helps me so much!!!

125 DOF Gayle

[GyorgyiM]

Never feel bad about venting.........it's healthy, it's normal and it's necessary!!!

I am here........

WE are here............

The "Elders" are on their way...................

Miles of Smiles....

[YoungAtHeart]

Life is ALWAYS going to happen.  It's how you deal that's important.  Venting  here is a good thing to do; crying is a good thing to do, sitting with friends is a good thing to do, working to solve the innate problem is a good thing to do.  Smoking isn' t  - and you did GOOD not to turn to THAT thing!

I hope today is brighter!

Nancy

[Gilamonster]

Thank you so much Nancy, everyones words of encouragement meant everything!

[AnnetteMM]

Recognizing our triggers is more important than a good mood.

[Gilamonster]

Annette-thank you I have a lot to learn about recognizing triggers!

[Barbscloud]

You are amazingly strong to be alcohol free for 3 years.  Don't forget that.  It doesn't always have to be something major to cause us stress.  The little things can just add up and catch us unexpectedly.  I'm glad you had your two friends with you for support.   Whine all you want.  That's what we're here for.

CBD oil shouldn't hurt you;  I give it to my dog for arthritis.  As for the ticks, I've had three bites over that past few years. They freak me out

[Gilamonster]

 Thank you Barb, I am overwhelmed by everyone’s support-it means so much!

[Roller831]

Breathe.  Don't forget to breathe. Once you catch your breath, you will realize you made it.  You did it.  You didn't drink.  you didn't smoke.  You didn't lose either recovery.  THAT is something to celebrate and be happy about.

Rinse.  Repeat (not the melt down part....the not losing wither quit/recovery part).

Then get to another AA meeting.   

Sending more hugs your way in hopes for a better today!

[JACKIE1-25-15]

I am starting to believe in every problem there is a solution or a resolution not worry about it.  Well, it sounds as if you had a major breakthrough and you are onward to bigger and better things.  You are being successful in your sobriety and smobriety.  It is not pretty all of the time.  I am thankful that you had someone to support when you needed it.  Sorry about the nightmare.   Shucks, breakdowns are okay as long as you don't stay it that place.I believe that you learned something more other than you are a mess.  We all are weak at times.  So chin up today is a new day.  Forget the past and move forward. /blogs/JACKIE1-25-15-blog/2018/06/19/new-day-let-go-of-the-past?sr=inbox&ru=4180