Giulia

Smoking Spouse, Partner, Friend, Mate, etc.

Discussion created by Giulia Champion on Dec 7, 2014
Latest reply on Aug 18, 2015 by Giulia

This bit of experiencial wisdom was written by John 10.16.14.

 

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Joanne blog Dec 6th, titled, "This Is An Important Question" asked about her spouse smoking and it initiated this blog.

Yea, I did and then my wife followed.

BUT not before I / we lived your story. On several occasions in a span of 15 years we both tried quitting together and separately. One of would break and then the other.

We also did the quitting separately where one would go outside or on the porch to smoke but try enjoying a movie or a card game with your mate with those guidelines.

The last time, a couple of years ago, she was sneaking ciggs on the way to work, which eventually she had to fess up to of course because she had to smoke all the time eventually...... that broke my heart......that she lied about it because I was doing good. I went and bought a pack as soon as she told me. 

So this time she was complaining to quit for a few months and I paid her no mind, and then she got the Chantix and I said, “blah, blah, blah  like you haven’t tried that before” good luck.

I gave her little support and did not smoke elsewhere, but was not mean and I did wish her the best. As expected she was failing her quit, the cigarette reductions were back on the rise and she had passed her quit date for over a week.

I suggested an internet support group and she passed on that idea…. But NOT ME. I knew I needed to quit also and all my other attempts failed, especially with another smoker in the house. I was not ready to quit but she was on her last leg and I decided to give it a shot without her, by myself, for myself.

And so I did it for myself, by myself.. I was smoke free for 5 days before my wife gained the conviction to follow.

It would be great if you could skip down happy lane singing the “oh, yea we quit together” song but it’s not going to happen. IT IS A PERSONAL PRIVATE MATTER. You succeed or fail all on your own. It is one of the great accomplishments in life no one can take from you and no one can be blamed if you fail.

When YOU quit smoking, you will be bombarded with many stressors and temptations, A smoker in the house is just another one of those, the difference being is that you can verbally blame and yell at that stressor. Don’t tie your quit to your partner or other smokers in your vicinity or world. You can do it all on your own.

You have to…. don’t be scared, we’re here if you need us. Earlier I said, “by myself” but I couldn’t have done it without the support of this group.

And yes it could be harder but it doesn't have to be. For me it was the office work, believe it or not, it was worse than my wife smoking and having cigarettes around.I had galvanized and accepted I wanted to be smoke free even if  others were not.

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