hattonc

Good Morning ...

Discussion created by hattonc on Jun 9, 2018
Latest reply on Jun 11, 2018 by crazymama_Lori

I've been revisiting this site for a few days . Just looking over conversations..admiring everyone's strength...ive been here on and of for the past few years...I was successful in my quit for a little over 2 years ..then gave in again and ever since having such a terrible struggle that i feel like a prisoner in my own mind...I ask myself how could I be so week to this horrible addiction?...life circumstances have not helped ..but really it's just an excuse I think ...I know I'm stringer than this ...I'll be 48 next month and I'm seriously tired of living this way ...so many of my friends are on this health journey ...like I was years ago ..running 5k's....working out at the gym which I have a membership..  and I think ..why can't this be me again ?.I'm soo... depressed....I've put on weight as well and I'm worried that if I quit now it's going to get worse ..but how can anything be worse then the cough..and the smell...and everything that comes with this evil addiction....when I quit the last time ..i did it cold turkey...and I was ok..but I was on this site daily ...but when I was stronger I stopped visiting ...I really need help and support..no one can do it for me...but just knowing you all are either in my shoes or have been makes me feel hopeful in a sense ...I just need to stay here this time ....cuz I feel it..that strong sense of the"want to"...I have 2 grandchildren.abd one on the way..I do not want to smell like a cigarette anymore....thank you so.muxh for being here ....

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