Why Did I Start Back?

[yvette720]

I quit for 10 years and started back a little over a year ago. Bit it seems as though the urge is greater than ever. WHY?

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Yvette, Why did you start back? Only you have the answer to that. I am sorry that you relapsed maybe you can expound on it so we can get a better understanding.   I relapsed once and it seemed as though I was smoking more than before.  This smoking is an addiction to nicotine.  Now, what are you going to/doing about it?

[Mandolinrain]

Yep, only you know the answer to that. I will say this though....when I see posts like this, someone who lost a quit after SO MANY YEARS OF FREEDOM, it scares the bejeebers out of me. I will have 4 years in this September and i have NO DESIRE to be a smoker again.

Your blog just reinforces to me why I need to be vigilant and never ever get complacent with my quit. I am a nicotine addict and I know that if I smoke just one cigarette I will be right back where I was in no time...a pack a day smoker. I am now returning to better health, I hardly ever get sick, I don't have bad breath, I don't stink, my grandkids never have to watch me set a bad example for them.......

Yes, this post is a reminder as to why I remain forever vigilant and now also why I think it is important I stay connected to EX and all these awesome quitters. Join us! We would love to help you get your quit back!

[TurboRose]

Mandolinrain‌, I "feel" you and completely understand your sentiments. I believe we all have "no desire to be a smoker again" but something happens that causes ex-smokers to sidestep that desire and take a puff. What is the characteristic of addiction that makes the addict take the step back into addiction? That's the question(s) I'd like to read answers to. What must we do to learn from the behavior of others to keep us from thinking "we're different" and it won't happen to us?

TurboRose 337 DOF

[Mandolinrain]

Well for me its easy......I had MANY failed quits. What I learned was what I was not doing....I was not staying on touch with this site.  I was not being vigilant with my quit and paying attention to my surroundings, I was plain just not doing the things I knew I should do to hold onto my precious quit.

What I meant from my previous statement is this : I have no desire to go back and lose this wonderful quit. Therefore I remain active here, I pay attention to my surroundings and my emotions . I keep my 'quit tools' always close by.  It's sorta like weight loss. I know if I don't move, if I don't make wise eating choices..I am going to gain weight that I don't want.

If an EX smoker , and this is only my opinion, because I am my best witness for myself, lol...if you follow...

takes up smoking again after along time of being quit.....they lost touch with their tools and they lost site of protecting their quit and or they never had a clear picture of what this addiction is.

I will always be a nicotine addict. I cannot afford NOT to know/understand this addiction or I will smoke again.

To make it clear, why I feel an addict repeats and goes back to the addiction of nicotine:

if they do not understand totally how this addiction works and remain vigilant the rest of their life, they are at a much higher risk to smoke again.

 Thats how I feel anyway. Only my opinion.

[TurboRose]

Mandolinrain‌ thank you for sharing your point of view.

I've made attempts before. This feels like my first real commitment to stop smoking and I want it to be a "rest of my life" accomplishment.  Maybe my desire will be enough to see me through. Maybe there's nothing for me to learn from another person's journey. Maybe I've learned all I need to know about myself and the addiction to remain smoke-free. I think I'm going to do my best to remain focused on the moment and let my life unfold.

[Mandolinrain]

Ahhhh, we should always be learning so long as we can breath. I hope to remain 'teachable always '.Theres ALWAYS new things to look at at to consider. Some will work , some will not.

Your last statement : I think I'm going to do my best to remain focused on the moment and let my life unfold "

Is priceless. Live in the moment. Somedays are easier to do that than others, but it is my goal...to live in the moment as much as I can. So I thank you for that reminder.

I would like to add, YOU are doing great with your quit and are setting a fine example here at Ex. I hope my comments have not made you feel bad. They are only my opinion and never meant to hurt. Sometimes words typed on this site are taken the wrong way and I just wanted to be clear, I have no agenda to upset or hurt anyone here on EX ever. I have learned from the Elders and the Newbies on this site, they ALL help me daily to remain vigilant. You also

[TurboRose]

Your words are cool with me. Thank you

[karenjones]

You started back because once an addict always an addict.  After being diagnosed with mouth cancer I quit for 5 years, i thought I could smoke one cigarette.  Ha Ha. Instant addiction. Now I know that I can never have one puff ever.  I am now quit for 77 days.  but before that I quit for 14 days in dec, 4 days in jan, 7 days in feb. and the last time I quit was march 16 and I haven't had a cigarette since then. But I was sure depressed wiht each cigarette I smoked. I did not enjoy it and I am so happy to be free. You can be too again.  it is hard, but what is the alternaitive, addiction and misery.  I find the daily pledge helpful,. ;you only have to quit one day at a time. If I can do it, you can too.  yes , you can.

[Mandolinrain]

Congrats on an amazing77 days Karen.So glad you are here