I quit for 10 years and started back a little over a year ago. Bit it seems as though the urge is greater than ever. WHY?
Yvette, Why did you start back? Only you have the answer to that. I am sorry that you relapsed maybe you can expound on it so we can get a better understanding. I relapsed once and it seemed as though I was smoking more than before. This smoking is an addiction to nicotine. Now, what are you going to/doing about it?
Yep, only you know the answer to that. I will say this though....when I see posts like this, someone who lost a quit after SO MANY YEARS OF FREEDOM, it scares the bejeebers out of me. I will have 4 years in this September and i have NO DESIRE to be a smoker again.
Your blog just reinforces to me why I need to be vigilant and never ever get complacent with my quit. I am a nicotine addict and I know that if I smoke just one cigarette I will be right back where I was in no time...a pack a day smoker. I am now returning to better health, I hardly ever get sick, I don't have bad breath, I don't stink, my grandkids never have to watch me set a bad example for them.......
Yes, this post is a reminder as to why I remain forever vigilant and now also why I think it is important I stay connected to EX and all these awesome quitters. Join us! We would love to help you get your quit back!
Mandolinrain, I "feel" you and completely understand your sentiments. I believe we all have "no desire to be a smoker again" but something happens that causes ex-smokers to sidestep that desire and take a puff. What is the characteristic of addiction that makes the addict take the step back into addiction? That's the question(s) I'd like to read answers to. What must we do to learn from the behavior of others to keep us from thinking "we're different" and it won't happen to us?
TurboRose 337 DOF
Well for me its easy......I had MANY failed quits. What I learned was what I was not doing....I was not staying on touch with this site. I was not being vigilant with my quit and paying attention to my surroundings, I was plain just not doing the things I knew I should do to hold onto my precious quit.
What I meant from my previous statement is this : I have no desire to go back and lose this wonderful quit. Therefore I remain active here, I pay attention to my surroundings and my emotions . I keep my 'quit tools' always close by. It's sorta like weight loss. I know if I don't move, if I don't make wise eating choices..I am going to gain weight that I don't want.
If an EX smoker , and this is only my opinion, because I am my best witness for myself, lol...if you follow...
takes up smoking again after along time of being quit.....they lost touch with their tools and they lost site of protecting their quit and or they never had a clear picture of what this addiction is.
I will always be a nicotine addict. I cannot afford NOT to know/understand this addiction or I will smoke again.
To make it clear, why I feel an addict repeats and goes back to the addiction of nicotine:
if they do not understand totally how this addiction works and remain vigilant the rest of their life, they are at a much higher risk to smoke again.
Thats how I feel anyway. Only my opinion.
Mandolinrain thank you for sharing your point of view.
I've made attempts before. This feels like my first real commitment to stop smoking and I want it to be a "rest of my life" accomplishment. Maybe my desire will be enough to see me through. Maybe there's nothing for me to learn from another person's journey. Maybe I've learned all I need to know about myself and the addiction to remain smoke-free. I think I'm going to do my best to remain focused on the moment and let my life unfold.
Ahhhh, we should always be learning so long as we can breath. I hope to remain 'teachable always '.Theres ALWAYS new things to look at at to consider. Some will work , some will not.
Your last statement : I think I'm going to do my best to remain focused on the moment and let my life unfold "
Is priceless. Live in the moment. Somedays are easier to do that than others, but it is my goal...to live in the moment as much as I can. So I thank you for that reminder.
I would like to add, YOU are doing great with your quit and are setting a fine example here at Ex. I hope my comments have not made you feel bad. They are only my opinion and never meant to hurt. Sometimes words typed on this site are taken the wrong way and I just wanted to be clear, I have no agenda to upset or hurt anyone here on EX ever. I have learned from the Elders and the Newbies on this site, they ALL help me daily to remain vigilant. You also
You started back because once an addict always an addict. After being diagnosed with mouth cancer I quit for 5 years, i thought I could smoke one cigarette. Ha Ha. Instant addiction. Now I know that I can never have one puff ever. I am now quit for 77 days. but before that I quit for 14 days in dec, 4 days in jan, 7 days in feb. and the last time I quit was march 16 and I haven't had a cigarette since then. But I was sure depressed wiht each cigarette I smoked. I did not enjoy it and I am so happy to be free. You can be too again. it is hard, but what is the alternaitive, addiction and misery. I find the daily pledge helpful,. ;you only have to quit one day at a time. If I can do it, you can too. yes , you can.
Congrats on an amazing77 days Karen.So glad you are here
karenjones thank you for being here. Congratulations on achieving 77 days of freedom.
yvette720 thank you for being here, being real and honest. I would really love to know - if you want to share - what was going on when you picked up a cigarette after 10 years of freedom. I'd like to know your journey so I may learn from you. I am a stone throw away from completing 1 year. Thank you.
I quit for 4 years and had no desire at all to smoke. Then, I bummed a couple of cigarettes while drinking with a friend in a bar, bought a pack the day, tried to quit a few weeks after and couldn't. It took me 33 years to quit again.
Keep reading here and other sites. Learning how to quit and understanding nicotine addiction will empower you and give you the confidence to quit again.
I have relapsed so many times it's not funny. The longest quit was nearly 2 years so you are definitely not alone. I am currently going through yet another one right now. You can read my blog, "I blew it" that I posted yesterday. We are all drug addicts, simple as that. Whatever triggered this relapse was something your brain associated as needing a smoke, needing that particular dopamine fix. I get it. Now that you have decided to quit again is a MAJOR step forward. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for that decision. Baby steps here. If you can stop looking back and blaming yourself then you can start to look forward and focus on the road to freedom. It can be wonderful and horrible to do it again but trust me, if you stay on Ex you CAN do it. There's invaluable info, support and the true compassion and love of everyone here that will keep you going. I screwed up by not being on Ex for quite a while due to family issues but I know if I had I would still be quit and going on 8 months. Please trust me, N.O.P.E. is the most valuable acronym there is because we both took that first drag that led to a fast path to a pack, to a pack a day, or whatever. We thought we could get away with one puff, one cigarette, two cigarettes, etc. but that first puff brought out our drug addiction. I'm with you and we can do this. After all you quit for 10 years! Keep that accomplishment in the forefront of your mind and the road will be less daunting. We've got your back!
In my personal experience every time I blew a quit was because I had the mentality of well, why bother.... In my early years it was very low self-esteem. I didn't believe in myself and just decided to take the easier route rather than dealing with the problem head on. I'm not going to use the term addict because sometimes people have a hard time grasping that concept. We, as substance abusers, like to use our drug of choice as an escape, let it be alcohol, smoking, drugs. We never taught ourselves other outlets or for that matter given ourselves the permission to be vulnerable and feel our, what we see, negative emotions. Emotions that we feel make us weak. So instead of hitting it head on, we choose to bury it instead. Recognize the behavior that brought you back and find a different solution.
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