BHnCA I PROMISE you that if you stick with your quit and you ALLOW yourself to grow...it WILL get easier. I cannot tell you when, I CAN tell you that I remember some craves that nearly dropped me to my knees and then my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic, told me that what I was experiencing was the "mental obsession"...he told me that he only knew of one way to get past that. He said to get down on my knees and pray to have it removed...I really did not have much faith in that working at that point but I would have stood out in the yard naked if he told me that it would help...it DID. I had to get down on my knees more than one time in the first few weeks...BUT then a day came that was a horrendous day at work...a day when I would normally have thought of nothing BUT smoking...and I never thought about it. When I got home from work, I was so excited to be able to tell people...people on EX. I cannot, for the life of me, remember when that happened but the fact that it happened once showed me that it could happen again. It did and then I paid less attention because it became my new norm. I KNEW that smoking had never solved any of my problems...I also knew that it had given me a whole new set and that breathing was NOT magically getting easier for me. Lots of people on here blogged about how wonderful it was to be able to breathe...to be able to take a brisk walk. I was being screened for bilateral shoulder replacements and my orthopedic surgeon and staff were really pushing me to go forward with the surgeries. I told one of the P.A.'s that I really felt I needed a pulmonary evaluation FIRST. She told me not to worry, that they would be very sure that I was screened well before any surgery was scheduled, let alone done. I told her that I had already called and made an appointment with a pulmonologist...it took MONTHS to get in. She said that was good that I was being proactive...I told her that I would call to see about scheduling the surgery AFTER the consultation. I asked to have a low dose CT Scan when I went to the pulmonologist, along with a spirometry test. I told the doctor that I was very, very disappointed that I did not feel better. She gave me a new inhaler (one that I could not tolerate), she scheduled the CT Scan, and read the results of the spirometry...which were dismal. I don't LIKE to fail tests and I failed this test so miserably that I pretty much expected her to tell me that I was not going to be around much longer. She had me do a six minute walk which, by some miracle, I was able to do. She ordered an overnight oximetry test and I was certain that would be fine, I mean, I would be SLEEPING, not walking or talking or climbing stairs, right? Well, my test was horrible and her office called and said I needed to be on oxygen at night. I said no and they told me that the risks were ridiculously high if I didn't start it. The timing was TERRIBLE, I was going on a trip, I couldn't cart an oxygen concentrator around with me. I finally listened to all of the advice and have been on oxygen at night ever since. I have also had both upper lobes of my lungs removed, I have gone through pulmonary rehabilitation, and I have gotten more education and love and support from this site than I could possibly explain. Breathing is good...being short of breath is miserable and terrifying. Stay away from cigarettes and it WILL get easier, we just cannot give you a timeline because it is different for different people. You are doing eveything right, you are coming here and blogging and, believe it or not, you are getting stronger and stronger!
Hugs,
Ellen
.png "Sootie"){kind=avatar}
