Living with a smoker

[mathews907]

I've been working on my quit for the past few months with no real success until now.  I am on day 4 using step 3 of the patch and I'm doing good.  I'm nervous with the weekend coming up though because my husband is still smoking. I can handle being around him before and after work but I'm concerned that I might have trouble being around smoking ALL weekend and its a long weekend to boot.  Any suggestions on how to happily co-exist?

[Tabbiekat]

Congrats on your decision to quit. I won't lie, seven months in and I still struggle with my husbands smoking. I initially quit with the aid of Chantix, stopped  2-3 months after I quit, but recently started taking Chantix again. The urges while being around his smoking were becoming a bit too intense. For the most part he does abstain from smoking while we are driving somewhere, but he still lights up during the longer drives and it is easier to take the Chantix vs keep asking him not to smoke while we drive. I still grab a breath mint (my go to distraction) and that helps some. I also just avoid him while he is smoking. We never smoked in the house so I just made a point to talk with him after he would come into the house since I no longer join him outside to smoke/talk. During family gatherings over the holidays I found it easier then I anticipated, because I just hung out with the non-smokers. Just know you have quit for your reasons and do whatever it takes not to light up.

Tabbie

[Nyeshia00]

Amen to that I got to deal with a friend I live with rolling cigarettes up when I come in and out the house I can smell the cigarettes but I won’t light up

[Giulia]

Here's one blog on the topic:  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2017/06/21/quitting-when-you-live-wi...   You might also just click on the community search bar and type in "living with smokers" or other search options similar to that.  

You know what I would do under your circumstances?  I would make a pledge to myself that no matter what I will not smoke during this entire weekend/holiday period.  Its only a specific time frame you have to commit to.  The other thing I would do is to figure out what I'd do when and if the cravings get out of control.  Leave the scene is one good option.  Get the heck out of there.  That enables us to regain our senses.  The other choice is to sit there and actually examine the feelings you're going through, OBJECTIVELY if possible, and think about your feelings.  Be "mindful,"  guess I'd call it.  Think about the weekend as an experiment.  A task.  A lesson.  That helps to take us out of the emotional moment and gives us that needed step back in perception.  Just passing thoughts here....

[desiree465]

You should talk with your husband and ask him to keep the smoking out of sight and out of nose reach. I've been using vicks when I'm around people that smoke. I think most people do fine when it's the after cigarette smell (it's gross), it's the lit cigarettes that get most people. Try not to drink over the weekend. Come on this site and read over the reason's you quit when you are having a moment of weakness. And read over the blogs that Giulia recommended. Reading what others have gone through really does help. 

[CommunityAdmin]

mathews907 

It's really really great to see that you came back to EX.  I see you joined us quite a while ago. I look forward to more updates on you and your quit journey!

What did you set your quit date as? You can set it here if you haven't already.

Mark
EX Community Manager

[awken]

on day 5 myself , cold turkey I know this long weekend is going to be tough at times , we will just have to be tougher . at this point having a cigarette is not going to help with anything unless We just want to go back to smoking , that's how I am going to approach it , your doing real good , keep moving forward , maybe You could explain to Your husband , how important this quit is and the concerns You have this weekend and how you would really like some support , I am sure if the roles were reversed , You would do what you could to help him protect his Young quit .