I see so often on this site people who say they are scared of quitting. I just can't understand that, I would think that people would be scared of continuing to smoke. What am I missing?
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I see so often on this site people who say they are scared of quitting. I just can't understand that, I would think that people would be scared of continuing to smoke. What am I missing?
why is there no fear of cancer though, ?? that was my prime fear. which helped me to stop.
Of course there is. But we also have the “won’t happen to me” mentality. Didn’t you, before you got diagnosed and ultimately quit?
For me, cancer was something that happened to people who were older/smoked more/smoked longer/ didn’t take care of themselves.
Ironically, I have always eaten “clean” and exercised. I believed in some level, that would negate the ill effects of smoking.
Sure, there’s a fear of smoking related illnesses. But not until my 40’s. Before that, I felt indestructible.
I always worried about cancer and heart disease too. I knew that smoking shortened my breath and made it hard to breathe, for instance when running for the bus. I was conscious of lung cancer, throat cancer, heart attacks. i did eventually get oral cancer and then I quit smoking. I called that quitting the easy way. I was always afraid of gettting cancer. even though I know that I may still contract a smioking related cancer even though no smoking , I don't worry about it at all now. Because I don't smoke. It was and is, so great to lay that worry down.
Funny, just sent this response to another post: I find this whole fear thing interesting. What are we really afraid of? The cigarette swat team isn't going to come to our house if we smoke. Only thing I can come up with, it that we're afraid of failing, i.e., disappointing ourselves. That doesn't really make any sense either, because we'd never attempt to do even the most trivial things if we expected to fail EVER TIME. After many attempts to quit, I tried to squelch the "unexplained" fear this time by telling my to give it a try. I can always go back to smoking if I chose to. So, what is there to be afraid of. You're ahead of me in this quit (March12), so I'm looking to you for inspiration!
I don't understand it either. I am more afraid of smoking than of quitting. Afraid of quitting?? What these people don't realize is that when they do get lung cancer, which willl happen unless they get hit by an asteroid first, and they are laying in a hospital bed, they will have to quit. Smoking is not allowed in hospitals. What happens to their fear of quitting then?
Karen, “people” certainly do realize the risks, for the most part. However, as you know, addicts do not make the most prudent and health conscious decisions.
I, for one, have been in healthcare for decades. I’m very well aware of the ramifications of smoking. But, yes, it was scary to consider quitting.
again, it’s fear of the unknown and fear of being unable to cope with difficult situations without a “crutch”.
;-)
I think it's the fear of pain. Emotional pain, social pain, physical pain.
Funny thing is, now at 145+ days, smoking would definitely hurt my throat and lungs now.
I remember feeling afraid to quit smoking I really thought that the feeling of withdrawal would make me lose my mind . I got over that particular fear when I joined a quit smoking group that challenged us to go just 48 hours without a cigarette . I decided to try it and if it got to bad I would just light up . I made it the 48 hours, I did not make it past that Mark at that time. It took me another 5 or 6 tries and a other 30 years of smoking to get to where I am today over 3 years free ! But just by trying to quit for 48 hours took away the fear of quitting .
if you are reading this and have similar fears I challenge you to try the 48 hours smoke free challenge even if you use an NRT to Do it . Try it with a buddy of possible .
Fear is the most natural of the feelings generated by Addiction. It begins the minute we aren't sure that we'll have our next fix on time. Even as smokers it motivated us to count our supplies and strategize about how we'll get our next pack. Then the minute that one even vaguely thinks of giving up smoking - it goes into hard drive with the sole purpose of compelling us to throw that idea out the window right now!
Fear creates all kinds of scenarios in the smoker's head when they contemplate freedom. It will be too hard, it will be miserable, I'll be lonely, people will hate me for being grumpy, quitting may in some unimaginable way make me sick,life will be unbearable...whatever it takes to force the idea out of our heads! We instantly reach that conclusion and then think of ways to "prove it" to ourselves. Just look at past failures, just look at so-and-so, just imagine how the cravings will never quit.....
That is the BIGGEST NicoLie of ALL!
My biggest fear was failure. I had relapsed on 6 previous quits, and was afraid I would do it again. And if I did fail once more, I was sure I would never try again. I put off my quit date 3 times over 45 days. I was beginning to doubt I could commit to this, when I got a really bad chest cold. I literally could not take even one drag off a cigarette for 2 days. When I finally tried to smoke an entire cigarette, I coughed so bad, I thought I was gonna die. I destroyed the rest of my pack right then, and never looked back.
These are all great fears. I think mine is the fear of failing. Fear of knowing that I should not smoke ever again and changing a life that is so familiar to me. I fear failure the first year when I will go through every holiday vacation and all of life’s stresses and heartbreak But it’s not stopping me from my quit. NOPE
Barb
It is the unknown.....I used NICOTINE for 38 years.....habits...regardless of warnings.....etc....comfort in habits....just talking about ME not anyone else....I was comfortable in my addiction....it was ME....quitting was tons of fears for ME....would I be bored....what would I do...what would I be...say....too comfortable in MY own skin....forget it....I was use to being in denial and addiction....I was high and insane!!! I was comfortable in who cares.....I NEED to escape this HELL inside ME....most was fear of what will happen to ME....the UNKNOWN FOR ME.
Fear of inability to cope. I couldn't remember life without a cigarette. EVERYTHING I've done since age 13 was done with a smoke. I was emotionally stunted. Fear of facing life on lifes terms.
I have the same issue. I don't really remember how it felt to not smoke. My first cigarette was at age 6 given to me by a babysitter. Then at 11 I smoked full time.
OMG...age SIX and then smoking full time at age 11...that completely flips me out. I started at age 17...I cannot imagine starting earlier, for one thing, I think my parents would have beaten me senseless. Your babysitter should be sought out and...I honestly cannot think of a punishment that is big enough. I am SO SORRY that you were exposed to smoking so early.
I agree with everyone it's the fear of failure and the fear of having to cope with life without smoking. Fear is an emotion that kinda can't be helped. You're afraid to stop but you're also afraid to no stop. Most people I think have that emotion when they quit. You're lucky that you didn't.
I guess because I was diagnosed with cancer from smoking that it over rode any other feeling, the fear of death and not being prepared to die. Maybe I was lucky. I think maybe I was.
It is a completely irrational fear. I think that we delude ourselves into believing cancer won't happen to me and so that fear isn't in the forefront of our brains like it should be. But god forbid someone take that cigarette away and we're shaking in our boots because we don't want to go through the agony of a quit. It is ridiculous but it happens to many people nonetheless.
I had never even thought that I would consider quitting smoking. I relied on it and enjoyed it too much. I knew all the harm it will and can do....but I was invincible....or so I thought...
Then one day.....out of the blue....
FEAR........
and everything just clicked......I was going to get very very sick if I continued this habit....
it was just something I felt in my guts (I call that "Gods Whispers")....
and I stopped cold turkey from that moment on...
so I was never afraid to stop smoking....
it was the reverse.......I was afraid NOT TO.
Smiles......
Yes, I felt exactally like you, the fear of not quitting and then I realized that smoking cigarettes made me feel really depressed. We are fortunate to have felt that way.
My fear started as what I would go through to quit..the pain and discomfort...could I handle it? I was afraid of the unknown.
Then it became the fear of how smoking will kill me if I didn’t quit. The idea of the latter was the deal breaker for me. I choose to face the fear and life.
This discussion is why I love our EX community so much. On a couple of previous quits, I confided with my doctor that I was afraid and anxious about my upcoming quit date. (Yes, "confided" is the word because I was ashamed to admit that quitting caused me to fear). Of course, both doctors had never smoked, and had no time or desire to discuss my fears. So they did what they are trained to do and said, "Here, take these Welbutrins (or some other anti-anxiety drug)".
I'm fascinated with this discussion even a year after my quit date. I can imagine this is invaluable to some newbies getting on our website for the first time. Everyone wants to know that they are "normal". Or at least, that everyone else is just as crazy as them .
"Everyone wants to know that they are "normal". Or at least, that everyone else is just as crazy as them ." Truer words have never been spoken. Well said.
"I'm fascinated with this discussion even a year after my quit date".
Exactly my thoughts
I think I was afraid that I'd be uncomfortable and crave a cigarette for the rest of my life. Also that I wouldn't be the same person any more. That I'd be changed and wonder who this non-smoking person was. Feeling like a fish out of water forever.
Once we quit for any length of time we realize that we are not uncomfortable all day long, that we may want a cigarette every now and then when triggered, but otherwise it's a thought and feeling easily flicked away. When we finally grow into our new smoke-free skin we wonder how we ever did such a stupid, harmful thing to ourselves. And we realize that the non-smoking person we've become is stronger, more self-reliant, wiser and actually a whole lot better than that sorry slave we left behind.
You know what I'm afraid of now? Another Day One. That's a healthy fear, as far as I'm concerned! It's interesting, just thinking about the fear, of what it felt like in the beginning, creates that same empty gnawing feeling in my gut. Shows you the power of the mind. That's why it's so important to re-focus on something else ASAP.
What a great discussion! Bookmarked!
That first paragraph summed it up exactly for me
I think I was afraid to quit and I was also afraid of the consequences of continuing to smoke. Part of the quitting process was when the latter became a stronger motivation.
"I think I was afraid that I'd be uncomfortable and crave a cigarette for the rest of my life. Also that I wouldn't be the same person any more. That I'd be changed and wonder who this non-smoking person was. Feeling like a fish out of water forever."
I agree with Giulia. Instead I found that I am becoming the person I didn't know I wanted to be even at 65.
Keep on keepin on,
I was the rebel without a cause smoker. I'll die with my cigarettes in hand. No one is going to tell me when to quit. That kind of mentality. I'd see the commercials on TV, the posts on Facebook, the warnings on the pack. Oh, that will never happen to me. but see way back then, I only saw this as a habit. To be honest, I had two reasons to finally quit and quit for good. One was the price of cigarettes and two was the problem catching my breath and the ease of breathing. Now, maybe I dodged a bullet and don't have any health effects and maybe I do. Time will tell on that whole scenario. But I can tell you that the thought of quitting scared the living heck out of me for the very reason of the unknown. There is nothing written anywhere of a precise guide book that tells me this will happen here and this will happen here. In three days, you'll feel this. There was always this "might" happen factor to the readings. You might feel this or you might feel that. In exactly 10 days, this will be completely gone and never to appear ever again. But smoking doesn't work that way. I think why this site works is because it deals with the whys not the mights. The reasons for why you smoke. are you using it to cover up something, hide something, stifle something? Are you using it to comfort you, bolster you? what are you using it for? Also this site is a discussion amongst smokers, people who have walked the walk and are guiding people along the path. it's an amazing community that I'm proud to be part of
Guess I amthe odd one out again. I was never afraid of quitting, but then, I neve planned to. I liked it. In my mind I still do. It doesn’t disgust me or bother me to be around it except I can’t do it. Never had any influence on my feelings one way or another. I reached for one crying or laughing. It’s only affecting my psychologically now. I factor in this was forced on me so my motivation going in was not fully my own. If I could, I’d still be a smoker. My life was actually simpler then. This quit has messed up other conditions that were stable and not related to smoking. Now they are by mucking with it. I’m 7 months in and put this as anther topic. I just hadn’t thought about a fear sIde til I read this. So nope, never had any and people did quit around me. None talked about the hell of it or didn’t have a hard time. Never heard of withdrawl syndrome. Sure know about it now. I quit once in my 20’s for a few months to get over pneumonia and then went back. But I didn’t have all the conditions I have in my 60's. Always interesting to read everyone’s experiences.
Fear is common thread that keeps people from quitting. I'm glad at least you didn't have to experience that!
Barb
Comfort. Security blanket. The familiar. The emotional crutch. The coping mechanisms.
The ritual/habit. The escape. The fear of failure. The fear that we waited too long. The fear that we won’tfind comfort.
Just my thoughts.... fear of the unknown is HUGE.
And knowing how dangerous smoking is does not really negate the fear of quitting. ;-)