Please Pray For Me

Discussion created by Bonnie on Apr 27, 2018
Latest reply on Apr 28, 2018 by Bonnie

My oldest daughter and I have been estranged for over a year.  It was because I started a new job that I thought would turn into a permanent position...anyway, I couldn't fulfill the childcare obligations I had committed to....there is more history, but both my daughters didn't speak to me for over six months and I didn't see any of my three grandchildren during that time.  My younger daughter made up with me because my granddaughter loves me (we lived together for two years).  My older daughter stopped by at Christmastime this year to bring me some Chex Mix (a family tradition I started) and I got to see my two grandsons and I was so happy and thought we would start seeing each other.  That didn't happen, even though I later extended an email invitation to make them dinner, etc. 


Well, yesterday I sent both my girls an email telling them I moved the spot of my spare key to my home.  Chloe, the older, responded and told me that she and the boys had moved and gave me her new address.  She now lives on the same street as my other daughter...and they all live within 5 miles of me...


It really, really hurt that this is how I find out.  It brought up all the pain I have felt since she has cut me off.  The last quit I had (of 10 months) I lost because of the pain I felt due to being ignored/rejected by my children (my perception).  


I'm not going to start smoking over this, and I don't expect a miracle.  I wrote her a long letter right before last Thanksgiving offering to go to reconciliation counselling, whatever, to heal our relationship.  She had been told by  counsellors that she married her mother--and she married a terribly emotionally-abusive  man who I helped her try to get away from over the course of many years.  I really don't understand any of it.  I know I'm not a perfect mother, but to think she thinks of me like she thinks of him...well, it makes me so angry that counselors would tell her that when they didn't know me and have never met me.


Anyway, I'm blathering on and on while I'm crying and writing this, but thank you for being here.  I no longer have that "feeling" that I want to smoke....


I believe strongly in the power of prayer and I would sure like a little healing in my family.  To keep a grandma from her grandkids I think is unbelievably cruel....but I guess I'm the only one that's hurting over it.


Thank you for being here, couldn't make it without you.