Don’t mistake God’s patience for his absence. His timing is perfect: And his presence is constant. He’s always with you. Amen.
There are times in our lives when we experience the unthinkable trauma or loss. For me it was the trauma of childhood abuse and neglect and then later losses such as my beloved Godmother, Angela, who I felt growing up was the only person on Earth that truly loved me and as an adult became the foundation of my truth of the world.
When we are faced with long term day after day agony it can be almost reasonable to despair and give up on trust, hope, life. Yet, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was not alone! My Heavenly Father sent His Comforter, the Holy Spirit, into my Heart and Soul to sustain me in my suffering.
When I was a child, I didn't understand the power of the Source of my Comfort. I would sit among the devastation that was my reality and watch the clouds move across the sky and then become determined that somehow, I would be like that cloud traveling through a storm one minute and shiny white and puffy some day not so far away on a bright sunny day!
I would tumble through the autumn leafs as they crinkled up and took their place back into the soil and look up through the branches of the tree from which they had fallen and witness the rays of sunshine peaking through the beautiful colored leaves about to fall away. I knew somehow that even though I felt very lonely I was not alone.
Nietzsche said, "To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
C.S. Lewis exclaims,
“Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself.”
The Apostle Paul declares,
" Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
And if you can see it, what a wonderful and beautiful gift! Survivors of trauma have an ability for empathy that cannot be learned by any other way. In my moments of greatest despair, I have a Loving God who has a plan for me, a plan to prosper me, and not to harm me, a plan that gives me hope and a future!
I never lost hope even in my darkest hours. I never lost nor will I lose a future I have with my Loving God who sacrificed His own Son to suffering and even to the brink of despair, yet raised Him back to Everlasting Life so that my future will always be secure in His Kingdom.
Suffering has brought me to a unique understanding of my world and my Creator. Instead of despair, it has taught me the true meaning of unconditional Love, a Love so strong that I have been able to love and trust myself.
I'm sharing this narrative to bring hope to those of us who sometimes, despair and feel alone in this world. It's very, very hard to lose quit attempts again and again. It can bring us down to our knees but on our knees we can look up and pray and see the light of hope shining among the beautiful dying leaves on a tree!
This prayer for Hope, Faith and Love goes out to any of us who feels despair. He has not forgotten you! He can bring you ever closer to Him - look up! AMEN!