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Give and get support around quitting

mmurry414
Member

Has any quit smoking while living with a smoker?

I have been trying to quit smoking now for about 6 months now and I'm wondering if anyone has quit smoking while living with a smoker. Its felt almost impossible for me to quit since we smoke inside the home. 

20 Replies
CommunityAdmin
Community Manager
Community Manager

Search: Smoking Partner 

Has some info for you to start reading.

Mark
EX Community Manager

EX Community Admin Team

I think bonniebee lives with a smoker....

bonniebee
Member

   That I do !  

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YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

I know of at least a few people here who quit with a smoker in the house.  I would suggest you begin by asking them to start smoking outside, preferably in a place hidden from your view, and keep all cigarettes and lighters, etc. out of your sight.  If they smoke in the car, ask them to refrain from that, too - and maybe use some of your savings to have it detailed!   It's better for them, too, not to keep inhaling the second and third hand smoke.  You will then have a LOT to do to rid the house of the smell of cigarette smoke....including washing the clothing in your closet.  Staying busy is a KEY to success in this endeavor. 

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

elvan
Member

mmurry414  Welcome to EX...please do the reading that https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog?sr=search&searchId=a4e4bcf8-d12e-4...‌ recommended and also check out the search that Mark suggested.  There are many people on the site who quit while living with a smoker...I am sure it presents a real challenge.  I know it would for me.  The biggest thing you have to remember is that this quit is yours and no one can quit for you just like no one can make you smoke.  I know that Tabbiekat‌ lives with a smoker and so does tryinmydarndest‌ and there is at least one person on here who lives with THREE smokers.  I cannot remember who it is.

DO stay close, DO have a plan, DO read as much as you possibly can about this addiction and accept that it IS an addiction and not just a habit.  You CAN do this, it DOES get easier.

Again welcome,

Ellen

Welcome and yes! I live with smokers. And I lived with smokers the entire time I fought for my freedom. Thing is, you have to know that you're not losing anything by quitting. YOU are gaining everything! And it's really about your personal desire to quit, even if others around you haven't found the crack in the addiction that will help them. 

 We have to own our quits and treat them like a precious thing, because it is! You can beat this addiction no matter what's going on around you. So I'd suggest that you learn all about addiction. And then when you think you're ready to quit, go for it!! There may not be any at home to support you but we'll be right there with you if you need us. Remember, there is no distance when it comes to the heart and so on that day when you're ready, we really will be right there with you!

 You're on the right track with your desire for freedom. Take that crack in your addiction and turn it into a beautiful quit! I look forward to hearing of your success. Please keep in touch.

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

Giulia
Member

Howdy and Welcome.  There are many here who have quit while living with a smoker.  Here are a couple of links that may offer assistance:  /blogs/Michwoman-blog/2013/05/29/quitting-when-you-live-with-a-smoker   and https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2015/10/26/boundaries-support-living...   It is not impossible to quit while living with a smoker.  You just have to wrap your head around a new thought process.  

Tabbiekat
Member

Both my husband and roommate smoke. Thankfully when we moved into our new to us home 3 years ago we all agreed smoking outside/in the detached garage only. It was about preparing myself. Knowing that I just didn't do that (smoke) anymore. Kept telling myself I was a non smoker. I did avoid them, but kinda hard when driving, or when we would be talking outside or in the garage. The fact that I smoked the same brand as my roommate- we used to take turns buying the carton. I put breath mints in the spot where I used to keep my pack and would just grab a breath mint vs sicarette. My husband is disabled and not good with money so I handle the finances and that has included buying his sicarettes. I just bought him two more packs this morning. The temptation hits hard at times, I have chosen to avoid them at times, a lot of times during the first few months, I went through a lot of breath mints, now 5 months later I still I have the pac of breath mints I bought a month ago. The readings that have been posted above did help me plan my approach. Wishing you the best.

Believe in yourself and know that it is possible.

Tabbie

MarilynH
Member

How are you doing this morning mmurry414?  Welcome to the community please read all of the links suggested above me because it'll help strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb and start living a life of Freedom, you can quit and stay quit, believe in yourself and know that we're here for you and will help you in any way we can. 

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