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Give and get support around quitting

RHRS
Member

I failed myself

Well, I failed myself. I was doing great being smoke free, exercising, losing weight and all, but since September I’ve been on a down spiral. You see, I was laid off last year and it’s been tough to find another job in my industry, so I decided to sell my house so I could move freely. I thought I was managing the situation well until I started drinking wine almost every night. And the wine led me to buy a pack of cigarettes and before I knew it, I was smoking half a pack every day with wine. Depression kicked in, gained 20lbs. And to make matters worse I came out to my siblings during Christmas and well, let’s just say I won’t be getting a birthday card this year. 

On March 15, after drinking half a bottle of wine and puffed 10 cigarettes, my throat started hurting and I couldn’t swallow so I rushed to an urgent care center. They ran some tests and the result was flu type a. Luckily I didn’t have fever, but it knocked me down for 5 days, which i used to kick the habit once again. 

I haven’t touched a cigarette since,  but this time I feel super tired all day, to the point of exhaustion, shortness of breath, can’t exercise as I used to, dry cough, and dizziness. 

I can’t tell if it’s depression, post flu symptoms, allergies, smoking withdrawal or something bad. Has anyone experienced all of this symptoms after quitting? 

Sorry for venting in here but needed to put it in writing. 

40 Replies
Kimshine
Member

Glad to see you back on board. This is a great community to be involved with! I'm sorry to hear about your job loss and "downward spiral". Terribly sorry to hear about your siblings and how they are reacting to you being you. I don't understand it but I know it happens. No reason to smoke over it. Hopefully, they will come around.

The flu season has been really bad this year (I work for physicians) and shortness of breath, cough and dizziness are all associated with the flu. Not to mention that you have just quit smoking and that comes with some dandy side effects as well. If you truly feel that you're still ill, you can always go back to the doc. I might give it some time to heal though. Always choose safety and common sense first.

I almost feel like it was a bonus for you to use the flu as you went through your withdrawal from nicotine. You surely didn't want to smoke during that time anyway.

 

Have you been to this site before? There is a lot of reading material for you here and a lot of support here for you too. I'm sure some of the elders will be along soon to offer you some of their expertise.'

You've got this!

Kim

RHRS
Member

Thank you Kimshine. This is the first time I get the flu so I didn't know what to expect, and you're right, getting the flu helped me go through the withdrawal symptoms. And I'm happy to be back in here as I don't feel judge and I know I will only get words of encouragement and wise advise. 

Thanks again for caring. 

GyorgyiM
Member

I also work in the Medical field and feel perhaps you have a bit of it "all"....But guess what? Yesterday doesn't exists.

Only today, and you are  "free" today....You are once again on the road to recovery, physically, mentally and emotionally.

How exciting !

I for one am SOOOOOO glad your here !!

Miles of Smiles..........................

Still I rise. ..

Nobody deserves to have blow after blow like that, RHRS‌.  I hope that you are putting the pieces back together. My first concern would be the alcohol. Alcohol has often been used to self-treat depression but it actually makes it much worse.

I have lost a job or two and made surprising choices that led to many Years of satisfaction. I recommend that you think outside the box. You never know what will appeal to you and be lucrative if you don't look around. My best resource has been multiple career counselors. That's how I found my current job at Comcast which I find very challenging and inspiring. (The last thing I would have come up with on my own.

I won't tell you that I know what it's like to share something as personal as sexual identity just to be rejected (and on a Holiday at that!) Perhaps with time your Family will realize that you haven't changed! We all need to be accepted for who we are. especially by our loved ones.

I hope you know that this is the place to vent! Nobody here is judging you for anything that has happened to you and certainly not for relapsing. The main thing now is to keep you on the correct path for your health.

So I have a few questions. Have you spoken honestly to your Doctor about everything you just told us? Do you have a therapist with whom you can work out some of these issues? Are you using a Career Counselor to find a job that meets your needs? It's all about resources. Using lots of resources (and there are many, many resources for all income levels) really makes a huge impact.

What does not help at all for any of these emotional, career and health issues is Addiction - neither Alcohol nor Nicotine will resolve even one of these problems. And Willpower won't work either. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/12/10/why-willpower-can-never-work?sr...‌ It's like pushing the rock up the mountain 24/7.

Sisyphusa

What works begins with Self-Compassion. What would you tell your best friend? /blogs/Thomas3.20.2010-blog/2014/11/02/self-compassion?sr=search&searchId=82f0729d-7e4a-4ec4-bf0a-b1...‌. Then you make a Decision that you want another Smoke Free Day because you will become better in every way. Don't blame smoking withdrawal - that would never have happened without the smoking. When you feel "super tired all day, to the point of exhaustion, shortness of breath, can’t exercise as I used to, dry cough, and dizziness"  blame smoking and drinking - not recovery! 

TODAY and every day can be your Attitude Reset Day. When you feel things piling up - decide to reset by Self-Kindness, Gratitude, Faith - in yourself, the Universe, Life itself. 

If you don't feel it, that's OK! Fake it till you make it!

And keep them away from your face!

Things will get better and soon! 

Promise! 

RHRS
Member

Hello Thomas, thank you for taking the time to write back so candidly. Your advise has been noted. I've met with career counselors before but I think my self-pity attitude didn't allow me to take full advantage of it. I now stopped feeling sorry and have started to focus on the things that I can change and what I want to do that makes me happy. I stopped the drinking/smoking and you're darn right about will power and blaming the addiction. 

Thanks again for your amazing advise and words of encouragement. I'll pay it forward for sure. 

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Wow - you are having a tough go of it!  I will start by telling you that alcohol is a PROVEN quit killer.  It lessens your ability to think clearly and can lead to the decision to give yourself permission for just one.  To an addict (and we ARE addicts), there is no such things as just one.  I will also take note that you are using your valuable  resources for no good purpose when you buy smokes and alcohol.  I am glad you are here.  We can at least help with the quit smoking part of your problems!

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!  I hope you feel better soon.

Nancy

RHRS
Member

The coffee idea, clever! I'll put it into action along. I will also implement a 10 push up rule for every craving. 

Giulia
Member

Hey Ricardo.  Nice to see you back.  Well you may have failed yourself, but that's now in the past.  Seems like you're back on track.  That's something to get excited about!  You might do well to re-read your blog from June 23rd of last year and the responses.  You may see a pattern.  When we are able to see patterns of behavior from a distance we are more able to change them, I think.  Wine seems to be the major contributor to your relapses.  Time to take a good look at that.

As far as your current symptoms - my guess would be you're still weak from the aftermath of the flu and both the depression and quitting are adding their part into the mix.  So how can you get your head in a better place?  Certainly going back to exercising when you are able would help perk you up.  You seemed to enjoy it before.  Perhaps volunteering somewhere part time until you get a job?  Would get you out of the house, you'd meet new people, etc.  I think you definitely need a change of venue.  Find something different to shake up your world.  And come here often!  We'll support you no matter what stripe you are.  Sorry about your siblings.  This family will celebrate the day of your birth with you for sure!

RHRS
Member

Hello Giulia, it feels nice to be back. I'm not good at expressing my feelings [must be my german side] but just by reading all the responses I feel like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I signed in to volunteer with Make A Wish Foundation and Save the Children but never heard back. I will follow up. Thanks for the idea.