"I Have Some Bad News"

Discussion created by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 on Mar 19, 2018
Latest reply on Mar 21, 2018 by AnnetteMM

Are Those The Words It Will Take To Make You Decide?


this is really long for me. sorry

      I have a friend from the first site I was on that quit a few months after me.

We both have my off sense of humor I guess you'd call it.

We found out we were only 60 miles from each other through messaging on the site.

      Anyway, we decided to get together so I gave her directions to a restaurant in the town I was living.

We met and had a great time. I was married so we had an understanding that there wasn't going to be hanky panky and there never was, it was all strictly fun. My wife was in Michigan taking care of her family who were all 3 ill, and I was scraping by paying 3k a month rent for not much of a house but in a great area, feeding 22 cats. My wife had a big heart.

      My friend was a live in caregiver and didn't need her own place. She had Sunday's off so she'd drive to my area (I lived about the same distance from the beach in LA as I do from the beach here 3 miles) so the weather was more temperate and we could enjoy the area as there are a lot more restaurants near the ocean.

      This went on for a few years and then she got her own place and we'd trade off driving.

She retired and when she ran out of funds she moved up North. Then a person in LA whom she had taken care of for 10 years earlier in her career, asked her to come live with them for reasonable rent. This was 5 years after she and I had quit.


      Her prior client and friend, was still a smoker and the first night she was living there, her friend and her shared a glass of wine and a cigarette crossed the table. My friend started smoking again.

Her friend, still smoking, had to have her foot amputated and was in rehab for 4 months during which time she quit smoking.

My friend continued to smoke even after her friend returned home and eventually died and she had to move back up North.

      During this time she found out she had COPD and she still smoked.


      I believe she's been quit a couple years now but I've lost touch with her because she changed phone providers and just recently tracked her down after a couple days research. She was so generous and gracious to pick up the tab the majority of the time as construction had really slowed down out here around 2007 from the influx of unskilled labor that ran licensed people out of business.

      I wanted to fly her down here for a week and just show her around and I even found out there is a restaurant branch that was our favorite place to go only 20 miles from here. I wanted to give her a weeks vacation from her daily life.


      I spoke with her last Tuesday and she had been in the hospital over the weekend. She had a bad flareup and they say she has to be on oxygen from now on and it can't be from a concentrator. Well you can't bring oxygen bottles on a plane.


      I don't know, it's frustrating. After her flare up, which she acted like was the first one, I think she's a little fearful of making the trip. I talked with her about maybe taking the train. We'll see.


       I can't help but wonder if she made it worse by going back to smoking after being quit for 5 years.


"I Have Some Bad News For You."

Don't Wait To Hear Those Words, Okay?