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Give and get support around quitting

Roller831
Member

NML & In-betweener Weekly Check In - 3/12/2018

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We do this blog every Monday to offer encouragement to those in No Man’s Land -- months 2-3-4 of a quit and to those in-between who have not yet made it to the 6% club, give or take a couple of weeks. This community has chosen to put a big, bright spotlight on NML – we’ve chased away the shadows, taken away the mystery, and put a lot of effort into bringing people in NML together. Because we understand that quitting isn’t over in a month.

Everyone who goes through NML blazes a trail for those that follow. You are not alone on this journey, and you never will be!

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No Man's Land is land that is unoccupied or is under dispute between parties that leave it unoccupied due to fear or uncertainty.

Do you ever feel like you are sitting between two cushions of a sunken couch or between two chairs about to split apart?  Do you love your new non-smoking life without the feeling of being in jail due to your smoking addiction?  Are there days you feel like a lost puppy?

You are not a smoker now, but I am sure you still have feelings of how it used to be.  It may not last long and you can get through it, but it still happens.  You may still get cravings for a sickarette.

The first weeks and months of your quit were filled with celebrations.  Everyone was proud of you; everyone noticed you weren't smoking anymore, and you got support from everyone!  The attention felt good....admit it.  How long has it been since you stopped smoking?  You are doing great!  We are so proud of you!  Are you still not smoking?  those were the kinds of things you heard on a daily basis, I'm sure and it felt good to say, why YES I am still not smoking!  It has been xxx days!  

After a few weeks, people got used to you not smoking and the attention waned.  Poof!  The attention was gone and everyone moved onto something else.  You are left waving your hand in the air.....um....hello?  I'm over here!  I'm still not smoking!  Helloooooooo.........

You like being a non-smoker or ex-smoker and don't want to go back.  The path ahead is full of landmines (or triggers).  you have to be careful.  One wrong move and BOOM!.  It's over and back to day one.  You need to walk ahead to that new beginning of non-smoking life which is confusing.  It feels good, but also scary since you haven't done this before.  

This is something we all need to do.  We need to get through or cross NML.  We have to watch out for the landmines, but there is something beautiful on the other side.  We need to be careful.

Our lives are full of obstacles.  We have to get through them when we decide to follow our dreams and missions.  A wise elder once told me the only way out is through.  One step and then another will get you to where yo want to be.

Think about it....what is your NML?  What are some of your landmines?

Roller

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8 Replies
AnnetteMM
Member

I get so excited when I see this post every Monday!  I always forget that it's coming.

I dodged a huge landmine this weekend when an emotional attack came my way, and my tears almost forced me into the car to get cigarettes.  I didn't know this landmine existed, and now I do.  I'll be extra wary of it in the future.

Sandi4
Member

AnnetteMM‌ -

I "liked" your post.  Not the part about you being upset but the part of you fighting your way through that landmine.  So proud of you.  

congrats on the finding your way around that landmine......awesome! 

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Roller831
Member

It was OldBones-Larry‌ who took many a NMLer through the desert.  Read some of his NML blogs.  they are good ones.  While I like the desert analogy, I often think of my addiction to smoking and nicotine as a war and therefore, the landmine reference.  Granted...I don't care for the violence of a war so my analogy is the aftermath of war....where there are many landmines left in a field and I need to navigate around those landmines to get through the field to see the awesomeness of the other side.  There are many dips and hills and craters in my field.  The beauty on the other side awaits for me and I am happy I was able to get through it.

Roller.

Really appreciate this section and hope to return often.... as my history has been to crash and burn at the end of 3 mos. I never understood why?????????? This Quit doesn't feel like an efforts made in the past......... At times that is scary....I seem too calm. Relaxed? The woman who never learned to relax EVER!!!!!!!!!  Kinda peeking around the corner waiting for something awful to take me by surprise..........prairie35dof

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Sandi4
Member

Interesting questions Roller.  

 

For the most part, I have a strong quit going.  I have memories, of course, but nothing I haven't been able to work through.  I think my landmines are still ahead of me:

1.  Spending time with the few people I know who still smoke.  I haven't seen them yet and sometimes I worry about how that will go.  I know that I just have to walk away. I just pray that I'm as strong as I think I am.

2. Drinking.  I always enjoyed a glass of red wine at home or a Grey Goose and cranberry when I'm out and have missed that.  I'm sure I won't smoke but that memory will be a strong one and I just don't want to subject myself to that yet.  Alcohol is empty calories and I have a weight goal I want to meet in 6 weeks.  I can wait:)

Haven't had any trouble yet with being around other smokers. I didn't want to light up at all....I did however,not want 

smoke in my face.. Went home and washed my hair.....Isn't that funny? Especially after puffing 45 yrs. I have my cocktails and don't want to light up.............I won't even look in the direction of the section of a store, where smokes are kept! As if, they are going to jump off the shelf into my hand........I was almost always the only menthol smoker, so I NEVER  bummed smokes. If someone waves a single smoke of my brand under my Nose.....I just don't know?????

I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK AND START ALL OVER AGAIN..............I am moving almost constantly when awake........Sleep sounder than I ever have as an adult.........Re-structuring the division of my time, each day is still far from ideal!  I seem to be so easily side-tracked......Today it was a mess by the landline phone and message center.... It wasn't in my list of do's for Today...Extra tablets had slide off that shelf for the last time! I was bent out of shape! Got a garbage can....sorted,pitched and kept what we needed. Threw the rest away........ Another corner organized! I was so irritated by the mess left there! Mazy (mini-doxie) can't reach it....Grandma wasn't here since last fall....Who does that leave?????????? Yep, the other 1/2 of this marriage..... He is being very tolerant of wherever I am, whatever I need to say or do........It's the oddest things that get under my SKIN!!!!!!!!!! I just keep remembering Ellen telling ME ...."THIS TOO SHALL PASS,JUST HANG IN THERE"   I'm just trying to Protect my Quit at all Costs! I Don't have the strength to continue to crash and burn at 3 mos...........Trying to encourage others, to do whatever it takes, to be where they need to be at that moment...........prairie35dof

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Roller831
Member

Stay close Prairie PRAIRIEROSELADY‌.  I have seen a few get caught in NML.  Keep your quit precious.  NOPE.  Be vigilant.  The only way out is through....

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