I did it. I relapsed. I quit my quit. I have no why. I only have a requit to maintain.
That was just practice. NOW! You, have wind beneath your wings to soar, to be a NOPE!
You and I are gonna make it. I'm back to 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 anything at a time. I have all the tools. I lost the "me" part somewhere, but I found it again. Being a junkie is so weird.
That's awesome! DonnaMarie
Many NOPE prayers sent your way. Hugs Kim
I believe in order to be successful for your next quit, you need to evaluate why you chose to smoke. You know why. Deep down, you know and I think you need to figure it out and admit it to yourself. You made a choice and before that choice was some kind of discussion in your head. Relapse Prevention may be a good place to start to help you for next time. relapse_traps is a great search item as well.
I am sorry you have to repeat Day 1. As always, many of us here wish you success and hope your Day 1 turns into a Day WON. Your relapse is something you can learn from so it can be prevented in the future.
We are all here when you are ready to try again.
It was a general "because I want to" and maybe to prove I could have just one or two. NOPE Not true. At least not for me. Some people can drink alcohol and I'm one who can. Some people cannot drink even one sip. I guess there are some people who can smoke, but it's a one puff and I'm back thing for me. I remember reading that I need not be jealous of those who are smoking, but rather pity them or feel sorry for them. I don't want to dose out pity, but would like to remain on the side of not jealous.
I posted to be held accountable to myself and to put it out there in the world. I'm not making excuses. I'm not whining. I'm not ... not sure what to put here. For my own self, I had to make it known. I haven't been keeping my personal blog as much since I started coming here and I love the feedback. So I come here
God, Angels, surround you with Loving Light Of NOPE!
Hang in there... 1 step at a time... you will get there....took me a long time to accept N.O.P.E.
Believe me, I had to test that a few times.... This time,I went in knowing positively, that I can not light up!
I would instantly be a smoker again...with all the problems, I've had that made the past 3 wks. harder...This Site and reaching out is what kept me on track.......The fight can be exhausting....Hang tough! Members have your back! Prairie21dof
I’m glad you came back. It’s very hard. I failed many times.
it was not until I truly understood how nicotine was drawing me back into its stinking arms over and over again that I finally was able to clamp down and quit! Also getting my toolbox in order was extremely important to maintain my quit.
I was so sick of going back to day one that I knew if I kept doing the same old thing i was bound to get the same results.
Educate yourself well in the addiction. It’s much more than black lung pictures.. so much more. Like I have heard alcoholics say about alcohol....Nicotine is also powerful cunning and baffling.
Dont let it take your life. You deserve so much more. YOU are going to eat now so be prepared and you will have a much better chance to win. All battles are hard but the ones well fought bring Freedom.
i wish you Freedom....you just have to prepare-fight and take it. It’s your choice and only you can do it! We have your back.
had to walk this road and it took over 40 yrs. to say nicotine addict and not gag! I thought of addicts as the street junkies................ wrong!
I know, I used to feel the same way
CONGRATS ON DAY ONE NICOTINE FREE DonnaMarie! Yahhhoooo for you. I was told when I used MY DRUG NICOTINE AGAIN AND QUIT AND CHOICE AGAIN TO USE MY DRUG NICOTINE that I do what ADDICTS DO THEY USE.... then I knew I was a NICOTINE ADDICT and now ONLY THIS DAY I CHOOSE not to USE ... I ask MY God in the morning please help ME to stay NICOTINE FREE in Christ Jesus MY Lord then I come here and TRY to HELP the next suffering NICOTINE addict to believe to hope and to blog BEFORE I take that FIRST PUFF OVER ME... it was SUGGESTED when the thought of USING NICOTINE CAME to PHYSICALLY TURN MY HEAD and say OUT LOUD Dear God HELP!!! It still works for ME today after pray I come here read the EXPERT ADVICE BY DR HAYS AND go to whyquit.com and read Joel articles on relapse PREVENTION then I come back here say another pray to HELP someone in MY Lord Jesus name amen please take what HELPS and let go of the REST to be helpful is MY only aim thank you! I am so proud of you DonnaMarie for your courage SELF inner honesty and love to blog and HELP ME to REMAIN STAYING QUIT WITH YOU TODAY it is really ALL we have just this MOMENT!
I totally agree with you and the approach you are using.
Make this your new mantra: "I may want to - but I won't." The parent must deny the child for it's own good. Put another red line to form an X on that rock of yours. Your shoulder will heal faster with not smoking.
In an effort to steel my reserve and because I wanted to, I did my mile walk and ended up doing a lot of thinking about addiction. On a side note, no cravings today thus far.
Addicts (and I mean me) are filled with wonder and fancy. The fantasy that they're not addicts is strong. We believe we can stop our drug at any time with no problem. We think we can dabble and we cannot.
I tried cocaine in my early days. I didn't like it. I didn't do it again.
I drank quite a bit in my 20s. In my 40s, I stopped. No particular reason. I can drink, but I don't.
I smoked a lot of pot and stopped that too.
I even tried LSD once in the 70s. Didn't do it again.
I smoked my parents' cigarettes, my friends' cigarettes, and then my own. There was no age requirement to buy them at the time. I think it's the "then my own" part that got me. That's when I became an addict and made the conscious or unconscious decision to keep smoking.
I quit for pregnancies. I quit for years on end. I quit 20 times.
Will it sink in that every quit ended with one puff? I believe it will, but it's a major addiction that I have to admit I have. It's not a passing thing anymore. I'm grateful to have been quit at least as much as I smoked, but that's still too much.
Just brain dumping here. Working things out with myself in front of all of you.
So there was a woman who used to post here a lot. I miss her as I haven't seen her here in a while. She actually lives not to far from me and I offered to meet up with her if she needed help. At first, we were 10 days apart in our quit. She "slipped" just after we both entered NML. I say slipped because she chose never to reset her quit day and she did not consider what she did a relapse. That is her choice.
I will never forget what she wrote...she wrote that she just wanted to see if it tasted good after not smoking for so long; just to see what it was like. She admitted it tasted like crap and didn't even finish the cigarette.
I keep her story close to my heart. I had similar thoughts. That is the addict part of my brain. I KNOW it will taste like crap. I also know I am prone to try it again...and again....and again to see if it STILL tastes like crap. Then WHAMMO! I am back to smoking a pack a day again. I know me. I cannot have one puff. I CAN have one drink if I so choose so I absolutely understand where you are coming from.
Just yesterday, I put a lighter in my purse after all this time because I needed to ability to light candles on a cake. The lighter in my purse made me feel uncomfortable. When we were done, I put it back in the top cabinet where I can't reach it easily. I know me. It makes it easier. Yes...I can buy a lighter....but then I have to make TWO decisions instead of one. One to by the smokes and the other to buy the lighter. Crazy...but that is the addict in me. I get it. Many of us get it.
I may want to, but I won't....that's good stuff from Giulia . I live by NOPE. I also live by SINAO. I'm adding that one, too.
You can do this. I know you can. Just wanting to see if you can is your why. Trust your gut. You know what you can and can't do. It isn't worth the test anymore.
Holy crap. "It's not worth the test anymore." How'd you get so smart?
I'm glad I came back instead of toughing it out without you all. Me and my no smoking rock are in NOPE/SINAO land today. And that's that.
Thanks for telling more about yourself. Keep looking for your acceptance about quitting the cigs one day at a time. I felt a draw to smoking--though it is an addiction--I found turning away from the kick very difficult. It felt like me. I felt like such a jerk having to learn to really live without the stuff!!! One step at a time.
It wasn't until I joined a support site and became educated that I understood the "one puff" thing. Looking back on my relapses I was suddenly made aware of my wrong thinking. I quit for a year and then did a show in which the character smoked. I thought, "Well, I'll just smoke during rehearsals when the character did. That lasted about two days. Was right back to my normal smoking habit. Then I thought, "oh I'll just smoke during the rehearsal and run of the show (which was only a couple of weeks.) Show closed, I smoked for the next however many years. Then I quit again for three months. After three months I thought, "Well, I'll just try a pipe. You don't inhale a pipe." Yes, you DO if you're a smoker. And then I, of course, went right back to cigarettes. Quit and tried cloves once. Then back to cigarettes. Quit for three months another time. Opening night party of another show. I bummed one. Thinking, "oh, I'll just smoke this one tonight." Went out and bought a pack the next morning and smoked for the next X number of years.
But then I became informed about this smoking thing. That it wan't just a bad habit, it was an addiction. That it had changed my brain. I learned that I could simply not have that one puff. And it was quite obvious - looking back at my past "one puff" experiences. I finally "got it." I know without a doubt that if I take one puff of a cigarette I WILL relapse. FACT. And you know what? That's a great thing to know. Because I never will again fall into that relapse trap. If I smoke, it will be because I have made the active, aware choice to do so. And if I do that, I will have given up on me. Which I hope never happens.
Sounds like we know each other very well.
Thanks for sharing. I know I'm not alone; we've all been there, but I am reading what you wrote and it's like I wrote it myself.
The main thing is that you haven't completely given up. Most of us had to quit more then once for success. I know with this last quit, I was really ready to do it. And more importantly, I never doubted that I COULD do it. I feared failure more then anything but by the time I put out that last cigarette, I knew that nothing was going to stop me this time, including myself.
So long as you desire freedom over temporary discomfort, then you'll succeed. And I think you do want that freedom. Otherwise you wouldn't be here right now!
As always, I look forward to hearing of your success.
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!
Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 wrote: The main thing is that you haven't completely given up.
The main thing is that you haven't completely given up.
I needed that. You said exactly the right thing at exactly the right time.
Sorry you're facing another day 1, but I am so proud of you for getting right back up and starting back to your quit!
Sending you good vibes and high fives ;-)
My goal is to make this the last day 1.
Then you shall!!! Brava!!!
It's good that you came back and didn't give up. I know people that can do the one cigarette a year thing. I am not one of those people. I used to also say I'll only smoke when ........... and I would always go back to being a full blown smoker. The fact that you came on here and are trying again tells me you really want this but maybe you need different tools this time.
I cannot add anything to all the good words of advise that you have received already. But would like to say that you seem open and receptive to everyone's comments. And that is a good thing - we are all here with the same objective - to help people quit and remain quit. Best wishes to you Donna!
When I saw this this morning. I was speechless I could not respond at the time. I was disappointed however, I know that it happens but was surprised it was you because I felt you were off to a great new beginning. My only wish was that you had come here first and maybe, just maybe, it would have made a difference. We don't know that though. Hoping that you get back on the right track. Remember we are here. I suggest that you get you a quit buddy that you can text, Phone email. to communicate with when you are about to go over the edge. Being connected helps. Someone may be able to help pull you back off the cliff Best wishes. This quitting thing is not easy but doable. Please remember that. NOPE will keep you free. I consider this as a slip since this was a short trial but flip this and find out the why and do not repeat it. Don't just try to wing it. Study Read Blog Research Ask questions.Education is the key.
I am off to a good start. Thanks for being there. It's back to constant education and no relaxing my will (not will power as I don't believe that works for me).
It is about your willingness to let it go. When I first started my journey I learned to treat my addiction as if it was any other drug. Can you imagine wondering why people can't stop using cocaine, crack, meth, heroin? It is the same thing. Nicotine is a drug. This drug is a slower death,cheaper, most people do not lose their homes and jobs behind cigarettes, That is why it is taken so lightly. It is a drug . Learn the law of addiction if you don't already know it.
Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."
I knew nothing about that until I came here. Stay Close. You can do this NOPE
Hang in there! You can do this!
Saw this a little late DonnaMarie. You are not alone. As you've read we all have been where you are and one day at a time we can all get to the place we want to be. Stay close and keep posting.
I've made arrangements to get to bed a little early tonight. I have to get up early to take the dog to the vet, come home, and get myself ready for a doctor appointment (cancer followup - supposed to graduate to every year instead of every six-month followup after this). I honestly don't want to deal with any of it. I'd rather hole up, pull the covers over my head, and sleep the day away, but that's not the way the world works, right?
So good night all. Thanks for listening today. All clear today and smoke-free.
DonnaMarie Glad you are back, I am sure you learned something really valuable...we are here, we WANT you to succeed. It is a journey and it is one day at a time or one step at a time. You can do this, I KNOW you can.
Today is going to be one of these days. Burning that candle, but not burning cigs. The dog is at the vet and I'll be off to see my cancer doc in a couple hours. I mentioned already somewhere that I should graduate from every 6-month visits to every year after this one. That would make me happy. I'll miss my dog today, but she'll be back! She's doing bath, nails, some regular upkeep, and will be drugged to the gills when I get her back. I suspect she'll look like this:
Such a goofball. A German shepherd who thinks she's a cat.
Hang in there...Sometimes the extra busyness keeps one from their addiction.
A few deep breaths,chew gum, no smoking zones are always good...........hugs, Prairie 22 DOF
I need one of those dogs. I love him/her.
How are you doing DonnaMarie? MargUcci ?
I am still here--looking at the site and preparing for another go at this.
MargUcci Let us know if there is anything we can do to help. I found reading blogs really strengthened my resolve and I became part of this community by commenting and asking for help and then listening when it was offered. I did have a plan...a quit kit, I knew that the people on this site really wanted and still want freedom for everyone. We are here. We WANT you to be free.
DonnaMarie, I'm so glad you are back with your quit. I am too. Starting d. 3 here. I know we will be successful sticking with n.o.p.e. We can never have just one!
I did not make it through day 1 of my quit yesterday. I felt badly and was embarrassed to admit my failure to anyone. Thank you for posting regarding a relapse. I am sorry to hear about the steps backward, but the response from others here appears to be to continue to encourage rather than to berate. I feel like I can still have more chances until one of them sticks for good (which is what I m hopeful for). I will try to remember that once I get on a quit--not one puff. Thank you.
So sorry to hear you didn;t make your quit day MargUcci . Have you been reading about this addiction and reading other blogs to see how others get through. Maybe write a blog telling us more on your story and maybe we can help you. You CAN do this if you put your whole mind, body and spirit into this quit. Want the freedom, taste it,, smell it we smell so much fresher as ex smokers. We know it it tough but you can do this. Read and educate is the best for success. We are here for you.
Don't give up, Marg! Please keep reading and listening to the wonderful advice of those on this site who have been around this block!!!
I promise you they will give you the tools you need.
You didn't fail, you learned. You learned what you need to do differently next time;-)
hang in for all the support you need! Xoxo
Just stick with it. It took many of us several times to get it right. Perseverance pays off. You might do some reading in Relapse Prevention (you can type 'relapse traps' in the community search box also.) Keep doing your homework. The more you know about the addiction, the more you know about YOU, the more likely your success.
Welcome to EX We are neighbors.
You can do this. You have come to the right place for a new day and a new beginning.. This is all about you and what you are willing to do to be smoke free. Quitting smoking requires hard work. It can be challenging at times but you will learn that it is doable if you adhere to NOPE not one puff ever no matter what.
Start first, by educating yourself about nicotine addiction.
Education is the key to a successful quit.
Read: Freedom from Nicotine My Journey Home and Nicotine Addiction 101
Here are the links: http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksAAddiction.html and http://whyquit.com/ffn/
I also encourage you to read. Allen Carr’s book, “Easy Easier Way to Quit Smoking”.
Go to http://www.becomeanex.org/how-to-quit-smoking.php#thl and get started.
DonnaMarie sorry to hear of your relapse. But so happy to hear your jumping right back into it. You learned an important lesson you cannot do just one smoke so you have to stick to NOPE. We are addicts and one puff is not enought it leads to another and another. You CAN do this one sec. min or hour at a time. We are here for you. Stay strong!
Don't stay done do it one day at a time
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