JLT022018

Help

Discussion created by JLT022018 on Feb 25, 2018
Latest reply on Feb 26, 2018 by JLT022018

Hi all.  I have smoked for 50 years with a stint of vaping (24mg nicotine) for 2 years and then both vaping and smoking for the past 3.  I have tried all the nicotine replacement therapies available (gum, lozenges, patches, nasal spray), welbutrin, chantix (nearly killed me), individual and group hypnosis, and most recently 2 attempts at cold turkey (one right after the other).  I was pleased these past two attempts that I managed almost 2 days without smoking.  Have been using an aromatherapy product to break addictions containing lavendar and geranium; a Smoke Free spray containing lobelia, oat seed, osha root, licorice, passion flower pleuresy root, grindelia, mullein leaf, and ginger; and 0% nicotine vaping.  However, both times at hour 45 I hit a wall that seems insurmountable.  I experienced time distortion (2 minutes felt like 20, an hour like half a day) and an ever growing feeling of fear and hopelessness.  Last night I managed to hang in there for 50 hours (with long bouts of uncontrollable sobbing) and finally went to bed and asleep with assistance from Ambien (not something I usually take).  Awake but foggy around midnight feeling emotionally worse then ever and left the home of a friend I was staying with for her support.  Succumbed and bought cigarettes smoked and went home to bed.  I don't know how to get under, over or through this 45 hour wall that is preventing my success.  And now today I went back to my friend's house and when driving down her street experienced strong feelings of fear and desire to turn around and "escape".  Still feeling hopeless as well as disgusted with myself and smoking again.  Now feel symptoms of PTSD at my friends house as well.  Any advice / suggestions / recommendations are very welcome.

Outcomes