At what point did others stop missing smoking?

[cat52]

I wake up wishing I could have a cigarette. I go to bed wanting a cigarette. I eat, and as soon as I am done, I think about smoking. I get in my car and I think about lighting up. Essentially, everything I do makes me think about missing smoking. Don't get me wrong- I am committed to quitting and have not smoked in 31/2 weeks! I just think knowing that these feelings and thoughts will go away eventually, would make this easier. Is this wrong to still feel so obsessed after several weeks??? I know I smoked for a very long time (35 yrs) so I get that it has been part of who I am for as long as I can remember, but i need some reassurance that eventually I can go about my day without this empty feeling. Elders- please share some insight. Thanks! Cathy

[YoungAtHeart]

If that were not the case, do you think ANY of us would still be standing?   It will help speed the process along if you change up your routines and thus reduce the number of associations with smoking throughout your day. Perhaps put your tennies on right out of bed and take a quick walk before anything else.  Can you change the side of the bed you sleep on or change the things you see when you first open your eyes.  How about a bud vase with a fresh flower siting there for the early days of your quit?   Have a cold bottle of water from which to sip in the car.  While driving, count the red/blue/green cars you see; or the number of lights you hit or miss).  Find a different route to or from work to change up the scenery.  Get right up after you eat and start the clean up process - or do some prep work for tomorrow's lunch or dinner?

I am sure you can think of other things you can do.

I don't remember the exact date, but there WILL come a day when you will realize you didn't think about smoking at all  Give it the time it takes to get there!

Nancy

[elvan]

cat52  I cannot tell you exactly when it happened, I CAN tell you that I was pretty sure I was going to lose my mind before it did. I was obsessed with thoughts of smoking and I could not imagine living the rest of my life feeling that way.  My husband is a recovering alcoholic (33+ years) and he told me to get down on my knees and pray for God to remove the mental obsession.  I was not sure that was really going to help but I did it, I got down on my knees and I asked God to PLEASE help me, I knew that smoking again was suicide for me.  The mental obsession was lessened almost immediately but certainly tried to get back in.  I had to come to a point where I recognized those craves and I simply said NOPE, Not One Puff Ever.  I did not spend all of my time FIGHTING them, I knew they were going to fight back and I knew that I needed to understand what was happening when the craves appeared...eventually, I was able to recognize that they were MEMORIES and that I needed to make NEW ones.  I needed new associations with the times when the craves were most intense...after a meal, I jumped up and cleared the table and did the dishes and often came to EX to read blogs, when I drove, I kept a water bottle filled with ice water next to me so I could suck on the straw when I THOUGHT I wanted a cigarette, I started exercising, I played computer games, basically the same things that Nancy is telling you, who do you think I learned from?  We lean on each other and we pass along what we have learned and what has worked for us.  You CAN do this, add you own things to the list and be ready to share them when the time comes.  The time WILL come.

Ellen

[Sandy-9-17-17]

Nancy's right, it will get better and you won't think of it as often as you are right now......this is new, and we always have to get use to new!  

I rarely ever think about it now, except to laugh at the thought that I did that for 43 years of my life, wasting so much of my time killing myself!  Now if the thought arises, I just laugh it off immediately, and I ask myself one important question!

That is, "Aren't you glad you don't do that anymore"  And my answer is always "YES"  !  

Nancy's advice is so accurate, in changing your normal routine!  It will be a big help in your success! 3 and 1/2 weeks, wow!  Ask yourself if you ever want to go back to day WON!  

Best Regards, 

Sandy 151 DOF    I had to look at my phone because I just don't remember what number I am on anymore.

[crazymama_Lori]

you definitely need to mix up your routine.  it's not the smoking you're missing, it's all those associations you have.  Next time when you're done eating, pop a mint in your mouth and find something to do for ten minutes.  You're replacing the 10 minutes spent smoking with whatever you choose, but do the same thing every time after meals for a month.  You'll find that the association of smoking and after meals has dwindled.  You get up in the morning, if you normally make coffee first, take a shower first, but do the same thing for a month.  discover new ways to drive home from work.  Before you go to bed, try some relaxation techniques or watch a meditation video on youtube instead, but again, do the same thing for a month.  I think the hardest part of quitting after the physical withdrawals is learning to live life differently.  I'm enjoying the heck out of it now because I have so much more time to get into trouble 😉

[MichelleDiane]

Hey Cathy.  I'm not an Elder, but I can relate.  I'm 47 days without smoking and still have a series of minutes where I think about smoking.  I explained it as a tennis tournament.  My thoughts were prosecuted and defendant.  From my experience it has lessened, but that doesn't mean I still don't have my moments.  Morning is still hard for me, but I move forward.  It lasts as long as my head allows it to.  If I do not redirect and continue to engage in the thought the more miserable I am.  Even if it's getting up to go to the bathroom or sipping on water, I am usually successful in redirecting the thought.  If that doesn't seem to do the trick I imagine the choking that would ensue if I did smoke.  Also, I am petrified to start this all over again.  Day one is not an option for me.  Do what you need to do and keep blogging and reading.  There is so much help here.

All the best,

Michelle

[Sootie]

As Nancy said----if we continued to crave and want do you think any of us would be on here touting how great quitting is?? As all the others have said----- it is hard to remember just when it happened.......but, looking back over my old blogs...here is what I can reconstruct for you........

I quit in November 2009

By February, 2010, I was at the point where I could get through a whole day sometimes and not even think of a cigarette.

Yes----that seems like a long time to you at this point but remember....I also smoked for many, many years so about three months is not too much to put up with.

Now-----even though I would get through a day or two without thinking of smoking.....that did not mean that I did not have the occasional, out of the blue, unbelievably strong craving for a cigarette. They never lasted long as they were more surprising than upsetting. These continued for a year and are mostly seasonal cravings......meaning as we re-learn our lives without smoking, we have to re-learn all of our "Seasons". EXAMPLE: I had a HUGE craving in the Spring when my husband and I went fishing. First day of fishing season was always a long walk into the woods, sit by the river and...............................light up. I had been quit then for about 5 months but it still hit me. WHERE WERE MY CIGARETTES??? It was easy to get through the crave but it did surprise and somewhat upset me until I realized what it was. The same thing happened the first day of swimming in the summer and once again walking in the leaves in the fall. You have to get through one whole year of firsts without smoking.

This is not to say that all of that time you are craving as you are at 3 1/2 Weeks.......NO WAY. You will rarely think about it after a couple of months as long as you don't obsess about "giving up something". You are giving up nothing.......and gaining so much.

Hope this helps.....let me just say.....please hang in there because life on this side is soooooooo worth it!

Stay strong.

[Barbara145]

Congrats on quitting smoking. It takes a while. One of the things are smoking did for us is make us very impatient.  Your quit is in the infant stage.  You have simply quit.  There is a lot of energy that it takes to quit for quite a while.  I don't remember when I no longer thought of cigarettes.  I quit over 4 years ago. I never think of cigarettes now.  I would not smoke if I could.  Quitting smoking is the most loving thing I have ever done for myself in my life.  Keep up the good work.  You will never regret it. 

[MarilynH]

I thought I'd stop in and see how you are doing this morning cat52 ,it definitely takes time to relearn life without the crutch of cigarettes because every blessed thing we did was wrapped around the smokes so deep breaths and keep stacking your precious DOF because with some time under your belt it's going to easier I believe I was around three and a months into my quit when I was having alot of days where I never once thought of a smoke, chin up because it'll happen for you too. 

[maryfreecig]

     I came to accept my smobriety in stages, embracing it more and more as the addictive aspect of smoking wore away. I smoked for a long time, too. Quit at age 54 and had a funny feeling that way deep down inside I was too old to change. I was wrong. You will definitely not be a prisoner of addiction feelings forever! So keep working your smobriety.

Dr Hays recently blogged about relearning rewards, below is the blog

For many people, a particular challenge to becoming and staying tobacco free are the cravings that occur while having coffee, after a meal, or when relaxing. Like all cravings and associations with cigarettes, this fades over time; however, the thought of having a cigarette or ‘dip’ along with these activities can be persistent.   Understanding cravings, and making plans to purposefully enjoy these activities without tobacco, can help the association fade away more quickly.

Tobacco, like any addictive substance, stimulates the reward system in the brain. In doing that it can become strongly associated with other activities, thoughts, or feelings.  This association makes it more likely that a person will ‘want to smoke or dip’ the next time they experience that activity, thought, or feeling.

Nicotine also has some relatively unique characteristics, it is a powerful ‘secondary reinforcer’, meaning It also enhances the experience of other things, like beverages, food, warm social gatherings, or relaxation.  After quitting tobacco, enjoyment of coffee, social connections, or relaxing may not ‘feel-the-same’ for a while. 

The good news is that enjoyment of all these activities, in the absence of tobacco, returns.  Every time you enjoy a cup of coffee, good company, or relaxing without a cigarette; your ability to enjoy that activity becomes stronger.

You can also hasten this recovery by mindfully taking a moment to appreciate, kindle, the taste of coffee, good company, feeling relaxed, or the taste of food.  Enjoying life on life’s own terms has its rewards, and re-learning life’s enjoyments without tobacco is a pleasure in itself