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Mind games! Am I alone in this? I can get through the tortuous first three to five days (not sure my hubby can), but for me it's the horrid mind games I begin to play; going to the store, the lies and deception games I play. I quit this Friday and by Monday or Tuesday I need help to stop the mind games before they begin. Any suggestions are welcome!!
Welcome to our community!
You can't win an argument with yourself - so just don't allow it! When you begin one, change your mind's direction. Here is a link to a blog I wrote with advice from others in the community that will help you understand the addiction, and give you links to ways to handle the psychological part of this: For Our New Years' Quitters (and community members, too)
I recommend you read Allen Carr first - then the rest from the links. I think you will be better prepared to be successful if you educate yourself.
I'm glad you're here! Let us help you make this your FINAL quit!
Nancy
Mind games is right. I once heard that the most dangerous place is our brains and we don't want to take up residency there. I find my mind in conflict throughout the day and I am on day 24. I talk to myself and redirect my attention every time I start sitting in a negative thought like giving up my quit. It's not going to happen. I have stayed close to this community and have always been given the boost I need and hopefully have given back. Hang in there! You are not alone.
-Michelle
Welcome to the Ex Community Victoriacam
Being a crazy, bipolar, b**ch this whole process scared the heck out of me. I've been down this road WAY too many times. I found Ex, hung out here and read and posted. I would NOT have made it the 87 days I've been free of that gross habit and killer drug addiction without these people. Play any mind game that gets you through the craves and the beginning withdrawal and on through the journey. You'll find a ton of support and good conversation here with some great people all on the same road just at different milestone markers. Make this the best quit and the last quit you'll ever have to face. Please see anaussiemom's post "Somber" for a quick dose of fun today. We'll be here whenever, wherever and for whatever you need.
Julie
Off topic here. Julie!
You are not any label! You are a living hu-man being period.
Now, according to science, yes some labels, were given to you to help, aid you others, to perhaps help you. Any Disease, Mental Distorter , Addict, etc. is based on science and what they have chose to label it. Never forget what you are. A real hum-an with a soul!!!
MHO xo
Post edited: Major OOPS! Yes, I gave myself those labels. What I meant to say was If you CAN'T laugh at yourself then no one can laugh WITH you!
Julie
Mind games are a part of the addiction. Now there are a lot of things that I would say I love to do, but of all those things I would never act in an addicted way--unable to say no or to let go. I like Snicker's bars but I don't eat one every 20 minutes, nor several times a day, nor once a month...
My point is, that nicotine in cigs causes the addiction (so says medicine) and accepting that it is an addiction not a choice, not a bad habit--but an addiction is important to do. This means that impulse control is a little harder issue.
Treatment for quitting? There are lots of choices; support is my personal favorite next to making a comprehensive plan (one that includes things that you like to do or are willing to do when you get a crave or an urge, other than smoke). You also can talk to your doc about nicotine replacement therapy and medication (not making a recommendation here, just saying that understanding what this stuff can and cannot do to help you quit might be useful to you). There may be quitters anon in your area. There is an amazing amount of info on youtube about quitting (just the good stuff, quick fixes should be run from like the plague).
If you believe that you should just be able to pick a day, then quit and stay quit, seeing that you have done the same in the past, then don't try this method again. Try something else like a strong plan and support. It isn't the third day that is the problem, it's your addiction. You are not hopeless, nor helpless--grow your quit with all the good strength that you have.
Thanks for reading my thoughts on this--just my two pennies. Take what you need, leave the rest.
You have to reprogram the thinking. Instead of I can't start saying I can. Believe that you can do it. Take one day at a time. Educate yourself on nicotine addiction. Bookend your days here. Ask questions. Read Study Blog if you like. Tell yourself that you just don't do that anymore every time the thought arises.
You have come to the right place for a new day and a rebirth. The idea is to start at the beginning by making a commitment that no matter what happens or goes on in your life that you will not use it as an EXcuse to smoke. With that philosophy you will have success on this journey.
No it is not easy but it is doable by using that principle and educating yourself about nicotine addiction. If you hang around you will see that quitting is doable, because many of us have. Look forward a new way of life that does not include smoking. It is all up to you and what you are willing to do to be smoke free.
Quitting smoking requires hard work and determination not to give up. It can be challenging at times but you will learn that it is doable if you adhere to NOPE not one puff ever no matter what.
Start first, by educating yourself about nicotine addiction because education is the key to a successful quit.
Read: Freedom from Nicotine My Journey Home and Nicotine Addiction 101
Here are the links: http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksAAddiction.html and http://whyquit.com/ffn/
I also encourage you to read. Allen Carr’s book, “Easy Easier Way to Quit Smoking Hang tough stay close. The best is yet to come if you do not give up.
Thank you everyone for the heartfelt words of support! I live in a different time zone (Portugal - where smoking is still not banned from a lot of places) from everyone so please forgive any time lapses in my responses. For me it is now 11 a.m. on Thursday, tomorrow is my quit day and I have caught myself counting the cigs in my LAST pack a dozen times already! Do I have enough to get me through the day? Should I go buy more just in case? And then my heart races with the last one and I quickly remind myself why I am doing this and to take those slow breaths. This is my final Quit.
You got this! Your going to soar, and you will succeed!
You CAN and WILL do this thing. Think of it as a new adventure. You never know what you might turn up but with the right attitude and help from the 'locals' you can have a great trip.
Go For Gold!!!
Julie 88 DOF
Spend this first day, and second day, reading everything...and I mean EVERYTHING...on this site! It will absolutely help you get through the day a WINNER.
Serenity Prayer was SUGGESTED to ME in 1986 when I was dealing with MY emotinal and mental mind of INSANITY of doing the same thing expecting a different result...the prayer ....IT was SUGGESTED again in 2018 to ME .... daughter was in coma from alcoholism.....battlefield of MY MIND... use ANYTHING WHO CARES!!!! the prayer begins... God grant ME the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...( I am a nicotine addict)....prayer continues Couarge to change the things I can ...( blog BEFORE I take that first puff over ME)...prayer continues...and the Wisdom to know the difference.... prayer ends. Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim... the wisdom to know the difference is I am recoverying from nicotine ONE day at a time when OLD HABITUAL THOUGHTS COME it was suggested to PHYSICALLY turn MY head and SAY I dont use nicotine anymore then jog in place for 10 seconds NEW thoughts NEW health.... WA... LAH!
Do you have any dry erase markers? I just remembered how helpful those were to me on my 9 month quit.....They work great on mirrors, windows, and white boards of course! Write yourself notes every time you start feeling like you're struggling! Keep the 101 things to do instead of smoking list handy, write yourself encouraging notes all the time, whenever you approach a mirror or window! I remember how cool people thought it was that I was doing this for myself. My quit lasted 9 months that time! You can do this, and keep telling yourself that you no longer do that, and that you never want to do that again.....N.O.P.E. One Day At a Time! O.D.A.T. It is doable!
Hi. I know how you feel. The way I quit, and I did what you describe many many times., finally the way I quit is that I quit buying cigarettes. I kept the butts in the ashtrays. And after I had smoked all the cigarettes I started to work on the butts. For two weeks, I am embarrassed to say I existed on a few puffs of an old butt a day. That's all I needed. Just a few Puffs twice a day. After that I decided that was it, no more. No more money spent on cigarettes. I slugged it out by myself for about a week before someone finally suggested trying the patch. By this time I was half crazy with longing. I had some patches left over from another quit but I had been determined not to use them this time because they never worked before, at least not for long. But this time because I went through a lot of Agony first, by the time I slapped on a patch it was such a great relief, I didn't even think of cigarettes for 2 days. In the past I had tried the patch, and I would just continue to smoke. So eventually I would take it off because I didn't want to get too much nicotine. That's my story. Hope it helps. This time it was preceded by a lot of hard work beforehand so it did work. I'm on the 14 mg patches now. 53 days clean.
Oh my God! That could have been me in your shoes! Smoking butts, bumming cigs, left over patches. Do we all go through the same s###t? Geez! Reading all this truly makes me see what an insane addiction this is. Never again. I am not going to let nicotine beat me again.
I found the Alan Carr info on whyquit.com (the brain pathways, etc.) very helpful...I like to know "why" . But for my analytical, questioning brain, the simple phrases work the best when I'm mind-spinning: "No One Puff Ever", "I don't do that anymore"....and move on...just realized I've been an "EX" (member of this online community) since 2009. Could have had 8+ years smokefree if I had stuck with it, like some of my friends did...oh well...gonna stick to it this time!
No you are not alone. <3 There are so many links here to help you thru this. I to feel procrastination. Smoking is a powerful addiction. But you, we, can move past it. My quit date is in 6 days. I'm getting anxious, also have lists all over my home, for me to stay positive and stay busy and focus. I feel and have felt like I was boxing myself sorta speak...
You can do this!
~Kim