Please forgive my dangling participles and fragment sentence but I wanted to celebrate with the Ex community that started me on this journey.
Today makes 6 months and 1 day! Along with the Ex community and nicotine meeting(s), I surrender daily that I am powerless over nicotine and that my life was unmanageable.
What does this means to non programmed ex smokers? It means that I am addicted to smoking tobacco. I used most of the 101 excuses why every 20 minutes I craved for a cigarette. After 45 years, I stopped socializing and isolated myself from people. I missed out on the formative years with grandchildren. I changed furniture yearly because of the smell. I brought expensive perfume (Channel, Dolce Gabbana and La vie) and had no sense of smell. Other could smell it but I couldn't and always used too much! I never qualified for long term health insurance and was always broke except buy packs of cigarettes. I stayed single because any prospect(s) were non smoker(s). Therefore, my dating card was few and in-between.
It wasn't virtue that made me surrender and give up my companion (cigarettes). It was the fear of going through 2nd, 3rd, or 4th stages of emphysema during my twilight years. I had alienated family, friends and realized that time wasn't standing still but passing rather quickly after I had a CAT scan last February 2017.
The beginning stages of detoxing was not easily. I had to learn to trust someone beside my upside down thinking. I followed the pulmonary doctor's suggestion to take Chantix and Wellbutrin to help with the triggers and craving. After 21 days, I stopped the Chantix, I didn't realize that the tablet had taken the edge off in quitting.
I quit using Chantix under the doctor's supervision. I was afraid of experiencing one of the side of affect (night mares). I noticed that I would have lively dreams when I was stressed - nothing nightmarish. As I stayed close to the ex community site, I would follow up with any and all suggestions. The site helped me as I read everything I could about quitting. The on line support and tips were invaluable. Adam Carr's "The Easy Way to Quit" was my catalyst. Carr's first 2 statements helped me to look at cigarettes in a different light. First, I never admitted that I was addicted and that was Carr's 1st suggestion. Secondly, I had an on going love affair with cigarette until Carr 2nd important suggestion was "Re-brain wash my brain". Of all the tips, Carr's 2 suggestion stuck and I it helped me to start practicing the other suggestions given in ex community site. The third most important suggestion from the site was checking out Nicotine meeting within my community. I was approximately 2 months smobriety, I kept going to meetings. The meetings have centuries of recovering Nicotine addicts with information and support. They nurtured me and put me to work. I take my job as chairperson very serious. I make sure anything I have to do, it is scheduled around my duty as chairperson. What helps me to decrease my craving and triggers is talking to someone who is thinking about quitting or is struggling with triggers. I tell my story of using the Ex community, attending meeting and reading Allan Carr.
Again, I want the elders at Ex-community to know I am forever grateful for their advice. One of the most important advice was when I shared that I was going to be an advocate in the midst of bureaucratic insanity. If I hadn't shared my ego driven thinking, I would have find myself in a delicate situation at work. Now, I am reading every code of ethnic and regulations about my job responsibility.... In all my shares at Nicotine meetings, I always let the new comers know about this site.
Thank you all for the support!!
1Finally2 (Carolyn)
