Those of us with mental illness go through so much crap mentally every day even when we are on meds that smoking is the ONE constant we can, or I should say now, could count on. It held me over, at least I thought it did, but it also made quitting nearly impossible every other time I tried. I missed my constant in the battle for some semblance of sanity each day. Now that I've found Ex I know that the battle is easier than I thought and that I don't need to smoke to have a constant. My new constants are breathing and this site. Still crawling out of the haze but I can see a much bigger and brighter future as long as I remain aware. Ellen is right, mental health services in this country suck. We do the best we can with what our minds give us every day. Just like the quit journey, every day of so-called sanity takes work on our parts. I'm just glad that my quit is getting a bit easier as each day goes by so that I can replace the constant of smoking in my life with a much better constant, not sucking down death sticks and hating myself for it. I'm learning to deal with crazy without them finally!
julie
