I need some advice as to what to do with myself when my husband is going in the other room to smoke. Today is my second day of quitting and this is really tough
I need some advice as to what to do with myself when my husband is going in the other room to smoke. Today is my second day of quitting and this is really tough
Thank you so much. It is actually getting tougher, not easier for my day 3.
I would ask for hubby's support and that he smoke outside - away from your sight. I would also ask him to keep his cigarettes, lighter and ashtray out of sight. Smoking indoors is very unhealthy for you both - since you both are exposed to the second hand smoke (proven to be almost as harmful as the first go-round).
Perhaps you are jealous that he "gets" to smoke? Well, actually, he doesn't GET to smoke; he HAS to smoke! Turn it around and try to feel sorry that he is still an addict. Be PROUD that you are working not to be.
Congratulations on Day Won!
Nancy
Wow!! I like the way you think! That really motivated me to change my thinking! Thank you so much!
Well as others have already stated, I will put it bluntly. It is not about him it is about you. You have to realize that this is your quit. If it bothers you you need to address that with him on how he can help you. He may miss his smoking buddy and do things to draw you back to day 1. It is not easy so Hang tough, it is doable. Your example may be his way to freedom. There are quite a few here that live with smokers. If you type in the search field living with smoker you will see lots of blogs concerning that topic. Here is a link to one Quitting when you live with smokers Read study blog. Education is the key to a successful quit. For Our New Years' Quitters (and community members, too) Stay close. The best is yet to come if you hang tough. No matter what do not smoke.
I agree with everyone above. I would absolutely ask him if he would smoke outside. I never smoked in my house so I think that made it easier for me when I quit...BUT, my husband quit in 1989 and I kept right on smoking until 2014. He never picked up another cigarette. If the smell bothers you, you might try putting a little dab of Vicks under your nose to disguise the smell. It isn't going to do anything about you feelings...please be honest with him and ask him to support you in your quit. There is a chance that your example may lead him to want to quit. Right now, he HAS to smoke, you don't. I see that Jackie has already given you the link to Youngatheart.7.4.12's blog for New Year's Quitters, it is a wonderful blog with a LOT of comments from others. I would also suggest reading jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007's blog What To Expect In The First Four Months and go back to Youngatheart.7.4.12's
101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke Read everything you can about this addiction...it IS an addiction and then commit to your quit, everyone is right, it is YOUR quit, you own it, you nurture it, you put it before anything else and it WILL grow stronger and stronger and so will you. Please stay close to the site and reach out to those who may say something that helps you. We all want very much to help, we all started at a day one...
Best,
Ellen
I am going to try those links right now. Thank you!
Keep in mind that the nicotine is leaving your system and it does not WANT to do that so it is giving you a hard time right now. The psychological addiction is much stronger than the physical addiction...it really is one day at a time and now you have THREE days! That is awesome.
Congratulations.
Ellen
Good for you for day two. Stay focused on your goal to quit, get busy on something else when your husband smokes. Yes you can, one day at a time.
I am surrounded by smokers all day at work. When my mind is okay, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t crave it. When I am messed up emotionally, it becomes a big trigger. I am on day four, first day back at work. I’ve had cravings but none where related to being around smokers. It’s something I have to accept in order not to smoke. If I can’t deal with it, I am not committed enough to my recovery. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with how I feel inside.
Hey Stan! I've wondered how you were doing. There are two smokers at my office, and I can't get over how much they STINK. You know how some people just carry the smell with them? That's what's in my office. I truly believe that if they knew how strongly the cigarette smell clung to them they'd quit.
I noticed day there how horrible it smells. I knew I stunk (one of my main reasons for quitting) I just didn't care at the time. pretty sad I really hope I never go back!
No HOPE....think NOPE, Not One Puff Ever. Quitting is not about hoping or trying or luck...it is about doing and that is the only way you can succeed and you CAN succeed. No one goes outside to smoke because they really WANT to, they go because they HAVE to, their addiction is calling and they have not learned that they do not have to answer.
Ellen
You are right. I know I can do this. I’m done with day 6 now and doing ok. I’m starting to brag a little to other smokers that are my coworkers too...maybe I’m hoping they will quit with me...it would be nice if someone around me quit too. But regardless, I will be the trailblazer!!
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Agreed!
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When I made the decision to quit, and my family members all smoke..outside. I did state I was uncomfortable with th3m smoking...in my zip code!!! All kidding aside, when they went out to take their break...or if it was a nice day to gather on the deck..I'd just walk in the house and busy myself for 5 min. It was my .lifestyle I was changing...not theirs. But they were super sensitive and supportive when we we outside entertaining..
~Kathy
My husband and our roommate smoke, fortunately we never smoked in our house, only the garage and outside. Initally my husband was going to quit with me, but that didn't happen. I miss our front porch talks, it was hard at first, but now I just find something else to do. Normally I goto my laptop and do a quick read through the EX community, or do a quick cleaning chore. Be selfish and focus on you and hold tight to your quit
Tabbie
I too feel like I'm missing out but then I think how that person is out their by themselves smoking so there is nothing to miss.
You know what, I never thought about it like that but that is very true. Thank you!
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You are doing great. I talked about my quit constantly at the beginning. There was only one other person at work who smoked and I seriously think she is never going to quit, no matter what.
YOU, on the other hand have made it through your first week or as we affectionately call it "Hell" Week.
I like the way you think. You ask what you can do in the room that your husband has left to go smoke. What an analogy that is! He has to get up and leave to smoke - you are in a smoke free room!
If you are serious with your question about what to do, look around the room. Get rid of everything in it that reminds you of smoking. An eye opener for me was washing the walls of a room where someone used to smoke heavily. The grimmy, dingy surface actually turned out to have a beautiful color to it when the smoke scum was cleaned off. Think of your life like that. Healthy and bright, smoke scum gone.
You can do this thing. I can tell. I hope you write more!
I am done with day 6 now and feeling pretty good. Cravings now and again especially when I’m at home. I started coloring in coloring books with my little one when my hubby goes to smoke or if I am just having a bad craving. It seems to be working. I also quit caffeine and alcohol too. Funny but the only thing that is hard is the cigarettes. Go figure.
Thank you for the kind words. It definitely gave me a boost of self confidence to keep this up!!
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Hi there I am one year smoke free and did my quit with my wife who still smokes. I discussed it with her that I am going to quit and she was supportive but also said don't I dare tell her to stop but she has cut down dramatically. You have to remember that you are doing this for you, sometimes you need to be selfish in life and look after you the #1. Perhaps request that he doesn't smoke at all in the house as it is making your quit more intense and difficult. Don't give up you can do this! You are going to encounter other smokers out there so take this as a tool to use when you do. Best of luck be strong don't let those cigarettes beat you.