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Give and get support around quitting

Roller831
Member

NML / In-Betweener Weekly Check In – 12/27/2017

Wow.  In a blink of an eye, a week has passed!  I thought with the missed In-betweener check in this past Monday (I'm Sorry!) I thought I would combine this week's check in.  It seems like the NMLers and the In-betweeners are posting on both threads anyway.  The more the merrier!

This will be the first New Year's Eve for us in this group smoke-free and what a great way to start off 2018!!!  We won't have to break that resolution of quitting smoking since we are already there!  Now THAT is certainly something to celebrate!

We have this discussion every Wednesday to offer encouragement and camaraderie to those in NML, basically months 2-3-4 of a quit.  Regardless of how long you’ve been quit, anyone who likes the conversation and wants to offer support is welcome to participate!

 

We are happy if you just stop by to say hi and let us know you are still with us!  Feel free to offer up ideas on topic question and I will include them in next week’s post!  Stop by daily or as often as you like!  Don’t forget to post to the Daily Pledge! 

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This week’s topic: Goals for the New Year


I am not a believer in resolutions.  In fact, I am so anti-resolution that on Dec. 31 of each year, I list out my accomplishments and back date them   Seriously...if you are one of millions who makes resolutions and ends up breaking them the second week of January or by February then stop making them!  Make goals instead!

What is it about the New Year that everyone is motivated to make massive changes, only to give up come February 1st?


I'm not a fan of New Years Resolutions, but I am a fan of a sound approach to goal setting. 

While most New Years Resolutions never work (97% of the time, they actually don't!) it's not the Resolution that's the problem- it's your approach. That I can promise you.

What are some of your goals in 2018?

 

ENJOY the journey through NML! 

 

In No Man’s Land, you’ve come a long way, but still have a long way to go. The routine cravings are gone but the surprise cravings can knock you to your knees. Your family and friends think you should be “over it” while you still feel quite fragile sometimes. Your relationships with smoking friends/family may be feeling strained. Your inner junkie is still around, still whispering to you, and the temptation to give in can be every bit as strong as it was in your first few days.

But here’s the good news. In these same 100 days, for most people, your circulation has improved substantially, walking has become easier, and your overall lung function has increased noticeably. Sinus congestion, fatigue, and shortness of breath have decreased. Your body's overall energy has increased. The roller coaster is smoothing out, and you are feeling calmer and stronger overall. Good things are happening! (Courtesy of @sarahP)

 

                                

Click here to read Dale’s helpful blog about No Man’s Land:https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-days-30-to130-appr... 

Click here to read what to expect in the first four months: /blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months 

 

Checking in here will help you get through NML and on your way to the first year where you can celebrate being in the 6% Club and graduate to eventually become an Elder!

 

Please let me know if you are interested in posting the NML Weekly Check In.  I am happy to continue it, share it, or pass it to the nEXt EXer in NML who is ready, willing, and able.

25 Replies
TW517
Member

One of my brothers joined the Navy in 1974, and gave me his year long membership to the YMCA after he had used it for 9 weeks preparing for boot camp.  I have been an active member of one gym or another since.  Every January is the same.  I both hate it and love it.  On the one hand, I have to put up with a crowd and waiting for equipment, showers, etc.  On the other hand, it only lasts 2-3 weeks and all those suckers who never come back are subsidizing my membership dues

Roller831
Member

I completely agree!  I am attending a Waffles and Goal "party" on Saturday morning to set up some shorter and longer term goals for 2018.  Some things that come to mind are to have a better relationship with food and eat more like a fit person, create consistency with working out, exercising, and my eating routine, and lose weight (which will occur if the first items are done).  I want to continue the healthier lifestyle I started in 2017.  Of course, there will be some concrete numbers (the accountant in me) attached to the above like I want to dead lift 300 pounds (I am at 205 lbs. now).  I want to squat 250 lbs. (I am at 165 lbs. now).  I want to consistently work out 3 days per week.

I am still considering completing a half marathon, but I really hate running and am learning you don't need to run to get cardio in and be strong!

I am not about numbers on a scale, per se, but would like some smaller clothing sizes and I would like to see my collar bones again! 

Thank You For The Weekly Reminders. Many People Don't Know What To Expect.

gottastop2
Member

Hello! Just checking in! 45 dof today! I have made and broken MANY New Years resolutions!! My Dad used to have us write out our goals for the New Year, I haven't done that for a long time but think I will this year!

Roller831
Member

Resolutions are for those who don't want to accomplish goals.    Thanks for checking in with your 45 DOF gottastop2 !  Keep up the great work!

elvan
Member

roller831‌ I look forward to these posts every week.  I, too, hate resolutions.  I have made many, kept none.  Our recovery from this addiction is a journey and it really is one day at a time.  All of the associations we had with smoking are not going anywhere anytime soon...it takes time and effort to replace those memories with NEW memories that are not harming you.  Any person who has ever been in recovery from an addiction knows that you work on it and you remember always how valuable it is...as a former serial quitter who is coming up on 4 years, I am so sorry that I did not have the education from this site when I quit in the past...I might not be tethered to an oxygen concentrator at night...I might be able to go for the walks I so enjoyed back in the day when I could still breathe.  Smoking is NOT worth what it can do to you.  

Gma_Bernie
Member

Ellen, your contributions to this site are so valuable. Thank you for being here after 4 years of being smoke free. Your comments are helpful to me and others.

minihorses
Member

I quit making resolutions a long time ago for the very reason that life gets in the way and I have other things to do. I like the idea of goal settings though.  My saying on New Year's Day as I reflect upon the previous the year and the coming year what comes to mind is "another year pi$$ed away and it will be Thanksgiving and Christmas again before we blink".  The years go by too fast!  

Having a hard time today and want to smoke because I'm thinking of leaving my husband of 33 years. Wish I could talk to him in depth but he clams up so I can't seem to get anything worked out.  I'm trying very hard to not smoke because it won't help the situation but by god that rotten habit keeps calling.  NML is SOOOO hard!

Julie   60 DOF

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Roller831
Member

minihorses‌ Julie - I am sorry to hear of your difficult decision.  Smoking will not change a thing and will probably make you feel worse!  My mom left my dad after 32 years of marriage.  She stayed for us (her kids).  In hindsight, I wish she would have left sooner.  Once she left she was happier than I ever remember her and it was well worth it.  She passed away almost 13 years ago, but had a good 10 years free from fro my dad and enjoyed life.

One door closes and another one opens.  I haven't walked in your shoes, but whether smoking related or not, we are all here for you in this community!