In-Betweeners Weekly Check In - 12/11/2017

[Roller831]

Hello, In-Betweeners!  I will be posting this discussion every Monday to offer encouragement and camaraderie to those in-betweeners; basically months 5 to 12 of a quit.  Regardless of how long you've been quit, anyone who likes the conversation and wants to offer support is welcome to participate!

We are happy if you just stop by to say hi and let us know you are still with us!  Feel free to offer up ideas on topic question and I will include them in next week’s post!  Stop by daily or as often as you like!  Don’t forget to post to the Daily Pledge! 

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This week’s topic: Relapse Prevention

What is the single most important thing you are doing to prevent a possible relapse?  Do you think you will relapse?  Do you need to prevent it at this point?  Discuss.  Go!

Checking in here will help you get through the in-betweener months and on your way to the first year where you can celebrate being in the 6% Club and graduate to eventually become an Elder!

Please let me know if you are interested in posting the NML or In-betweener Weekly Check In.  I am happy to continue it, share it, or pass it to the nEXt EXer in NML who is ready, willing, and able.

[Jennifer-Quit]

Even after 1,320 days - I still protect my quit.  Not because I think that I will relapse but because I know that I am always just one smoke away from a relapse.  The reasons that I stay active on this site are to try to help others as I was helped in the beginning and also to keep it fresh in my mind just how precious my quit is to me - and how easy it could be in a moment of weakness to throw it all away.  

[Roller831]

While I do not have as many DOF as you, I feel the same way.  I have to keep my quit protected or I will certainly relapse.  I feel I am just stating to feel more confident in responding to the newly quit.  It absolutely keeps it fresh in my mind of where I was and where I could go back to!  Thank you so much for responding!  

[elvan]

I have 1422 days of freedom but I am always aware of the triggers that I allowed to let me relapse in the past...first and foremost was anger...I do NOT deal well with anger.  I was never allowed to express anger when I was growing up without significant punishment, usually physical.  I do not blame my parents, I understand that they did the best that they could with what they were taught and I WAS a challenging kid...there were five kids in the family and I was the only one who seemed to have trouble keeping my emotions in check. Not sure why that was but it certainly made me want to learn how to stuff them.  I am so glad that I have gotten so many days of freedom and that I know it is okay to get angry, it is okay to be sad, it is okay to FEEL and I do not have to fit into a box that someone else designed.  By the way, I am very close to my brothers and sisters...most of them have told me that they never quite understood why I was always getting the daylights pounded out of me.  Only one of them ever smoked and she is my older sister...I think she was the Cinderella in our family...always expected to do chores.  I was always expected to get A's and one B meant I was grounded for the six weeks until the next report cards came out.  My siblings celebrated C's.  Well, there's MY life story, hahaha, sorry, I was on a roll.

Ellen

[TW517]

My wife had serious breast cancer 10 years ago.  After more than a year of surgeries and therapies, she continues to be in total remission.  The number one thing that got both of us through that was journaling.  The 2 rules were we couldn't go to bed without writing at least one paragraph, and we had to end with at least one thing we were grateful for.  As great as that was for us, we both gave up after a couple of years of life being "normal" again.  When I joined this site, the blogs became my new journaling again.  I tried to take a break from here, but it didn't last more than a few days before I was feeling off somehow.  I need to be writing or reading about this addiction to keep my quit strong.  And even if I don't say it on a blog, there is never a day gone by that I'm not extremely grateful for the people who contribute to this website.

[Roller831]

First and foremost I am happy to hear your wife is in remission!  That is great news!  Journaling is good for many things and I find coming here and reading and sometimes posting is my form of journaling.  I agree this website has been and continues to be a lifeline for me. 

[dwwms]

i must admit, it feels kind of weird at this stage. 8+ months behind me; 3+ months to the 6% club!! I've said it many times before and I'll reiterate it again - after 40 years of smoking, it is still different to think of myself as a non or ex-smoker. Sometimes it's exhilarating, other times it's still scary.

I must admit though - all in all - it's becoming the normal - I don't smoke!!!

Doug

[Roller831]

Doug - I am in that weird stage feeling as well.  I am having many firsts and I agree it is different to think and call myself an EX-smoker.  I personally think being an EX smoker is better than an non-smoker because I know how hard it can be to become an EX!  LOL...get it?!

I don't do that anymore!  (Thank you Dale JonesCarpeDiem) One step and then another will get you where you want to be! (thank you Larry, the Caravan Master OldBones-Larry‌).

[minihorses]

I'm on day 45 and doing pretty good in NML. My son made me feel like dirt earlier today by a snide remark and I must say I was tempted, very slightly but it was there.  I told myself that it would solve anything, it definitely wouldn't make me feel better only worse, and that the want (not a crave, more like a nudge) was a learned reaction to tension and that I am still unlearning the pattern I had for 35 years. Hope everyone in NML is having a good week and being smoke free.

Julie  45 DOF

[Roller831]

Great job, Julie minihorses‌!  Smoking would not have solved anything!  You did the right thing by thinking and making a choice!  NML is a time where you can get caught off-guard and why it can be so tough for some.  You did the right thing!  One step and then another will get you where you want to be....