my last nerve

[Tammyzhere]

I'm getting ready to go off on my adult daughter.... 

well it's not a new feeling
it's been an ongoing thing that I have successfully stuffed for many years
but now that I'm not smoking - I'm like ok phuck all that
phuck him and phuck her and both of them can phuck the phuck off
every phucking time I talk to her - she mentions him (my ex - her dad)
the past 10 outta 10 times - I haven't said anything
but now I'm just DONE
cuz it's ok that she wants to have a relationship with him
what is not ok is that she consistently has to tell me about it

every phucking time I talk to her - EV#E#RY time !!!!!

when I have specifically said I do not wanna hear about it
she is not stupid - she knows it bothers the phuck outta me

[maryfreecig]

     Wow, message received. Better to come here than smoke. I had to unlearn some buttons and set some boundaries along the way...it's doable. I hope you resolve this issue to your satisfaction and well being. After all, are we really meant to be torched up day in and day out? I don't think so.

[Tammyzhere]

crazymama_Lori  posted this 36 minutes ago

and I am repostin it as a reminder to myself - cuz i'm 20 day free of nicotine and completely cray cray

the lack of sleep is not helping my already super irritable and gnarly disposition -  so I figure if I post the actual crazy

going on in my head - I'll be less likely to actually act out on it - well, that remains to be seen 

"I still have to check myself at times when I blow up.  One time my husband said, why are you making a big deal out of this?  you never did this before.  True story right there, but I always walked away and smoked and never said anything.  I just simply learned to count to 10 before I react.  I've read research somewhere that during your first 9 months you'll find the emotions that drew you back to smoking are the ones hitting tenfold.  Then some say it's hormones.  I know mine has finally leveled off.  Yes, I have days where I just hate everyone and everybody but those are becoming further apart.  I know sleeping played a big part in it"  

[maryfreecig]

You are working your smobriety! This is what it takes.

[YoungAtHeart]

Sorry - but your reactions have made me want to LOL!  You ARE going through nicotine withdrawal - you used to handle all of life's problems by hiding behind that hit of dopamine and that cloud of smoke.....no longer a option.  Might I suggest that you get off the phone when she starts with her interactions with your Ex with an excuse, "Ooops - there is another call I have to take," or "I need to go to the bathroom - ttyl."      You might ask yourself why this bothers you so much.   Is there something you need to do to help yourself get over it?  Or - in a calmer time, perhaps tells your daughter that you REALLY don't want to hear about it, and let her know AHEAD of time that you intend to hang up each and every time she brings it up.  Part of this quit journey is self discovery and learning to deal with things you hid from when you smoked.  This is one of the things you need to solve.  How do you think people who never smoked would deal with it?  Perhaps slow/deep breaths might help, too.

I am SO proud of you for coming here and not smoking.  Good for you!

Nancy

[pir8fan]

OK Tammy, 

It is time to quit sugar coating everything! Let your hair down and tell us what you really think and how you feel about it! 

Anger is part of life! When you quit smoking you tend to live life out loud! Just try to stop short of physical violence!

Live Free my Friend! Live Smoke Free!!!   Tommy

[Deb-EX]

HA! Our responses were pretty much the same :-)))

[Posamari]

Sounds familiar.........oh man ( !) can I relate

But remember, no matter what----

he is NOT worth smoking over

Make that your mantra for the next few days.

You got this.

Phuck him        

[elvan]

What a great venting blog...I feel better just after reading it.  You did EXACTLY what you should have done, you came here.  If there is even a remote possibility, please try to talk to your daughter and tell her how badly it makes you feel when she talks about her father.  Tell her that you understand that she wants/needs a relationship with him but tell her that YOU need her to respect your space, you need her to understand that you feel badly and that you really do not think you should have to deal with that.  Keep the focus on you, don't accuse her of anything, just be sure that she knows how you feel and how hard this is for you.  Ask for her support...ask and then accept whatever happens.  If she continues to put you in this position...see YoungAtHeart‌'s comment.  

Hugs,

Ellen

[Deb-EX]

Tell us how you really feel girl!! I'm sorry that you made me "Laugh Out Loud" ..I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you :-))))  After all what else can we really do in the end. I've let my hair down a bit over the last 24 days myself, normally not confrontational, but damn if I feel someone is doing something wrong or I don't like what they did.. I've been telling them! Another positive of a being smoke free??!! LOL - Thanks for sharing, we are here for YOU!!!