No Christmas Here This Year

[minihorses]

As much as I adore this time of year I've decided to skip Christmas this year. It used to be fun when the kids were smaller but both boys are adults now with one 18 years old and one 25 year old. Being guys they don't really care about decorations or lights or anything else. I have a bunch of cookie dough ready to roll out and cut and decorate but I'm not wasting my time this year. I'm just going to get the kids what they want and they can have it when it comes into the house. I had to buy a new tree but it's still in the box so I'm going to have them put it it the attic for the next time we actually have a Christmas celebration. I'm the only Christian in the house so I will focus on Jesus and they can do whatever they want. I just don't feel like it would be an enjoyable one and I certainly don't need any extra stress! I'm ready to become a smoker again. It won't help my problems but I was actually happier then. I guess I just need an addiction of some sort and those are the only things that are legal besides alcohol and I don't drink. I'm not going to make that decision or act on it yet, it's always better to sleep on it and really think it through so I'm going to do just that. Thank you all for your continued support as you are the only ones that have supported me throughout this endeavor!

Peace to you all.

Julie  36 DOF

[susan_m]

Julie, don't smoke. You've worked too hard to get here...that 30 day point is HUGE. Don't blow it now (see what I did there?  Lol)....you hang in there. 

Obviously you decorated for your family at Christmas, but didn't you do it for yourself, too? If so, it might make you feel better to decorate, even in small measure.  Our decorations have so many memories, and can often remind us of what's good about the holiday. My manger scene reminds me that I have eternal salvation, my burlap angel at the top of my tree keeps me humble, and every ugly beautiful handmade ornament made by the kids reminds me of earlier years. It's a lot of work to put it all up, but worth every second of the effort.  I think I'd be MORE stressed if I tried to skip it. 

You're very wise to opt to sleep on it, and I hope you'll think about what I said.

Susan 

[minihorses]

We used to do it together. It takes hours to get the branches set out and I decorate it by myself. There ARE a lot of good memories in the decorations but those memories are still there, decorations or not. We don't have any family around so there's really no reason for doing any of the baking, wrapping, getting the stuff down from the attic, lighting the outside, etc. I have a huge lit Christmas village but since we had to get a different TV stand a couple years ago I don't have anywhere to put it.. I also don't feel like dealing with cats, mostly the youngest, climbing the stupid tree! I've taken down the advent calendar and as I suspected no one even noticed. Trust me, it will be a lot less stress to just give it a pass this year! 

Julie

[elvan]

Julie,

I LOVE Christmas, I love what it stands for, I love looking at my tree, thinking of all of the Christmases that have passed...some were better than others but they were all Christmas.  After our house burned, I was walking through the ashes in the living room and I saw something on the floor...I reached down and picked it up and it was the baby Jesus...the manger had been stored in the attic which was two floors above the living room.  I did not find any of the other figures until much later when my husband found Mary.  I have a different manger now...I still set this one up with my little baby Jesus with his blackened and slightly melted feet.  I cannot bear to put him or Mary away after the Holidays so I keep them on my dresser...year round.  I don't leave the manger set up, just them.  I carried him in my purse for over a year after the fire.  The fire was a week and a day before Thanksgiving.  We did not have one Christmas decoration left...there were many that I had since I was a child and many that we had collected over the years when our kids were little, when our grandson was born but no matter, the ones that counted the MOST are still here.  I love to sit in the living room with all of the lights off except the tree, it makes me feel at peace with myself, with my life, with those around me.  

Don't smoke, no matter what...your body is just beginning to heal,  give your spirit a chance to heal as well.  You have been missed around here. I hope you can somehow find a little time to check in daily to take care of YOU.

Hugs,

Ellen

[minihorses]

Hi Ellen! I've always loved Christmas as well. It was a magical time of year. I felt like this last Christmas but did all the stuff anyway. It did not get me in the Christmas spirit then (and of course the boys didn't care), so I'm not going to put in the work to do it this year. I do love to sit in the living room with a lit tree as well! It's just that I sit in the living room alone unless someone is playing video games on the PS4 at which point they turn off the tree because they can't see the TV screen correctly. I will personally celebrate the miracle that was the birth of my savior Jesus Christ. Since no one else here is a believer, that celebration is in my heart and that's the only celebration that counts really.

Julie 

[bonniebee]

So nice Ellen I found some peace in  reading your reflections too.

[Deb-EX]

Amen.. I could have wrote your response! I feel the same exact way.. I LOVE your story about baby Jesus and Mary, it's amazing xoxo

[elvan]

I will send you a picture.  I LOVE him...I felt like he gave me great hope when I really needed it.

[Tabbiekat]

If you get a chance maybe catch a celebration in a nearby area, just to get out and celebrate the birth of Jesus with others. Growing up I loved helping my mom with Christmas decorations, but once I moved out I just lost the umph to do anything. When I got married my husband was an over the road trucker the first few years and always took the Christmas shift so he was never home, so no need to decorate. Now that he is home and disabled we just try to catch the Christmas program at the Catholic church. Your not smoking and have reached NML so it is going to be a rough couple of months, hold tight to your quit and celebrate that. I too have those moments of "I was happier when I smoked" but if you truly look at it it was not happiness, but a chance for you to get away from what was going on. Just find some other way to find something that truly makes you happy for a few minutes each day. You can do this

Tabbie

[kristen-9-7-15]

You’re not alone. I don’t think I’m decorating either. I’m recently single, no kids and it’s just depressing. But please don’t smoke! I thought I was happier as a smoker early in my quit but now I love being an EX!