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Give and get support around quitting

Tammyzhere
Member

So far so GOOD :)

Day 1 of no smoking / no nicotine.   Alienating all the smokers. 

Don't wanna set off any kinda unnecessary crazy in me.  

My son smokes.  He asked if I'd like to go with to the show.  I appreciated the invitation but, declined.  After the movie, the first thing the smokers do is blast outta there to go smoke.  I knew he'd give me cigarettes and that is totally the opposite of what I'm all about today.  Just hugging him and smelling it on him - that would set me off.   I'm too new in my quit to deal with all that.  So, no thanks honey.  Not today.

My two best friends smoke.  I told both of them today that I quit.  They both asked, "How long?"  I wonder if non-smokers ask that too?  Is that a sabotage type question?  Is it designed to patronize?  Am I just being weird and overly sensitive?    Like - I'm done smoking and I don't wanna be around it.  I'm just all about protecting my quit cuz I know - 

it's a big deal.  Maybe, someday it really won't bother me...   to see it, smell it, be close enough to reach out for one. 

All I know is I'm not trying to get a haircut so there's no reason to go hang out at the barber / beauty shop .... right??? 

My other friend Lori quit a long time ago.  Her birthday is today

and she will be thrilled when I tell her    

She's been riding me for years. .   

Now we can share this special date every year    what a nice birthday gift 

Tags (1)
41 Replies

I wonder if people ask "how long" as a cue how to respond.  If you're a newbie, likely they will give you an exaggerated congratulations while thinking to themselves, I'll-believe-it-when-I-see-it.  When you can tell them three months, exaggeration will be replaced with surprise and, if they are smokers themselves, interest.  When you can tell them one year, they will give you a genuine congratulations with more respect than surprise and they will want to talk about how you did it.

Hopefully you'll still be here to share.

Tammyzhere
Member

I suppose.  I'm sober since 89 so I know that on any given day - we're all just one F it away from the next one.  right???

When I had 8 months of not smoking - I KNEW - I'd never smoke again - until I did.  

0 Kudos

Yep.  I thought I had quit for three years one time; so convinced was I that I believed I could enjoy just one pack.  That turned into practically four more years smoking.  Ugh.  All it takes is one to prove you haven't really quit.

Tammyzhere
Member

Yeah that's partly why I found Allen Carr's booklet so helpful.  He pretty much covers every possible excuse / scenario - most of which I had already experienced.   I was so jealous of those people who "got to smoke" - yeah retarded - I know!!!!   And then there were all those times I thought I could have 1 - just 1 - lol.  Think I'd know better???   Addiction is a subtle and powerful foe.   The lies we tell ourself so we can keep doing what we're doing.... 

The 2 best BF smokers mentioned above - are also fellow "old timers" in AA.  27 & 30 years sober - They know .... we shoulda quit this smoking crap years ago.     We were like the naughty ones of the crew - refusing to grow up and act right.   It stopped being cute a couple decades ago.

Oh I learned a new thing today from Marilyn H.  - I Love this so much!!!!   - 

"Day One so you can say at the day - Yay for Day WON!"  

Elle047
Member

Ugh, I know the feeling. I quit for 5 years. I thought, “ohhh 1 smoke won’t hurt.” 8 years later after and 4 days smoke free today, I have hopefully quit for the last time. The cycle is ridiculous and frankly pisses me off. 

elvan
Member

You can do this, Elle...you CAN, no hopefully about it, maybe a "nope" fully though.  Keep reading and reaching out, EX will become an addiction but it is a GOOD addiction.  Please remember when you feel a crave that no crave ever killed anyone but no one can say that about smoking!

Giulia
Member

Very potent avatar you've chosen Elle.  Elle047  Lock the door on the bird cage before the bird can change it's mind, turn around and enter the cage again for protection.  Captivity can  be comfortable until we discover our freedom.  Freedom is scary until it becomes our norm  Then captivity becomes scary once again.  Sometimes we don't understand freedom until we've been re-acquainted with it.  We were born free.  Our addictions made us slaves.  Quitting is the re-acquaintance with our original smoke-free selves. Fly the coop!

Elle047
Member

I am doing everything I know possible to not turn back. Being a slave to smoking stresses me out more than the cravings...so far. 

Giulia
Member

You're being wise to stay away from the thing that you're addicted to.  It's like, "I've just given up popcorn."  "Really? Great.  Let's go see a movie together."  Where there are 75 popcorn eating people.  NO!  

My reaction when somebody told me they quit was:  "Good for you!"  With the following thoughts underneath - "I should quit.  I know I should.  I feel a kind of pressure on me because they told me they were quitting.  I'd like to stop thinking about their statement as soon as possible.  I'm going to just pretend like it's not happening. Just because THEY quit doesn't mean I have to follow suit."  And yadda yadda yadda goes the addicted brain.  Keep heading in the direction the wise part of you dictates and abjure the dumb part.