Give and get support around quitting
It appears to be a combination of things:
the nicotine withdrawal
all the feelings I stuffed with smoking
losing my 40 year old pacifier
the craziness of wanting to and not wanting to smoke at the same time
so edgy and loopy that I dunno what I'm doing
I just know that quiting is the right thing
even though it is really hard to do
I have all these scented candles, candies and vapor sticks
And I tell myself.... What if... I never had to buy another pack
It's new to not have cigarettes in the house
scary and victorious
so vulnerable
so volatile
I've stopped so many times before
and went back
One time I made it 8 months
usually it was 2 weeks
or just 2-3 days
So far, I've only told strangers
It can go either way
but yesterday I went out
and didn't buy any
and I'll go out again today
I used to buy 2-3 cartons at a time
I went out of town to get them
half hour or so away
What if - I never had to buy cigarettes again
What if - I became a non smoker
Welcome! I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
It's my first day here at EX I'm just reading everyone's posts and learned - S.I.N.A.O - Smoking Is Not An Option - N.O.P.E - Not One Puff Ever.
Good for you! SINAO saved me more than a few times. I also liked, “I don’t do that anymore”.
I understand the compulsion to not tell anyone close to you, out of fear of failure and not wanting to be accountable. In my experience, that set me up only for the alluring pattern of secretive smoking. At some point, hopefully sooner than later, you'll learn that your quit is empowered by telling everyone and anyone, to truly let it be your identity.
Do what you need to do to get to the next day smoke-free. Circle the wagons and protect your quit!
~ Brian 142 DOF
I'm new here and only had 19 points so I sent them all to you
LOL You're so sweet. Staying smoke-free is priceless beyond any points, but I will give them back more than two-fold on your next milestone.
In the beginning it seems like such a huge deal just to leave the house and not buy cigarettes. I was in the store yesterday and the guy in front of me bought a pack of my brand. It will be a huge deal just to make it back home later without buying some I know I don't have any here or in the car. I already tore thru the house looking for them a few days ago.
Welcome to Ex. Thanks for writing about what your quit is like right now. You are in good company here...lots of former smokers who can appreciate the start of quitting, the weirdness of letting go, yet knowing that it's all for the best. Keep coming back.
Thx for welcoming me Mary
Congrats on your 49 months