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Give and get support around quitting

Tammyzhere
Member

So Angry

It appears to be a combination of things:

the nicotine withdrawal

all the feelings I stuffed with smoking

losing my 40 year old pacifier

the craziness of wanting to and not wanting to smoke at the same time

so edgy and loopy that I dunno what I'm doing

I just know that quiting is the right thing

even though it is really hard to do

I have all these scented candles, candies and vapor sticks

And I tell myself.... What if... I never had to buy another pack

It's new to not have cigarettes in the house

scary and victorious

so vulnerable

so volatile

I've stopped so many times before

and went back

One time I made it 8 months

usually it was 2 weeks

or just 2-3 days

So far, I've only told strangers

It can go either way

but yesterday I went out

and didn't buy any

and I'll go out again today

I used to buy 2-3 cartons at a time

I went out of town to get them

half hour or so away

What if - I never had to buy cigarettes again

What if - I became a non smoker

31 Replies
TW517
Member

Welcome!  I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing. 

Tammyzhere
Member

It's my first day here at EX    I'm just reading everyone's posts and learned - S.I.N.A.O - Smoking Is Not An Option - N.O.P.E - Not One Puff Ever.    

TW517
Member

Good for you!  SINAO saved me more than a few times. I also liked, “I don’t do that anymore”. 

Brianairb2
Member

I understand the compulsion to not tell anyone close to you, out of fear of failure and not wanting to be accountable.  In my experience, that set me up only for the alluring pattern of secretive smoking.  At some point, hopefully sooner than later, you'll learn that your quit is empowered by telling everyone and anyone, to truly let it be your identity.

Do what you need to do to get to the next day smoke-free.  Circle the wagons and protect your quit!

~ Brian 142 DOF

Tammyzhere
Member

I'm new here and only had 19 points so I sent them all to you  

Brianairb2
Member

LOL You're so sweet.  Staying smoke-free is priceless beyond any points, but I will give them back more than two-fold on your next milestone.

Tammyzhere
Member

In the beginning it seems like such a huge deal just to leave the house and not buy cigarettes.   I was in the store yesterday and the guy in front of me bought a pack of my brand.  It will be a huge deal just to make it back home later without buying some    I know I don't have any here or in the car.  I already tore thru the house looking for them a few days ago.  

maryfreecig
Member

Welcome to Ex.  Thanks for writing about what your quit is like right now. You are in good company here...lots of former smokers who can appreciate the start of quitting, the weirdness of letting go, yet knowing that it's all for the best. Keep coming back.

Tammyzhere
Member

Thx for welcoming me Mary

Congrats on your 49 months

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